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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be dreading the half term because of my daughter's neediness?

317 replies

Sacredhandbag · 15/02/2025 10:35

Tbh not even just the half term, I dread weekends, especially in the winter.

My DD is 7. She is incredibly full on. She talks from the moment she wakes up to the moment she falls asleep. She never stops talking. Even on the rare occasion there's noone else in the room. You can't even cuddle up and watch a movie with her because she fidgits and talks and asks constantly never ending questions.
She wants attention ALL the time. She demands to be played with, in fact she doesn't even demand she just starts playing a game with me against my will. I'll be doing the washing up or something and she comes in and says, "we're playing catch now" and lobs a ball at me and then is like "mummy! You're supposed to catch it! Mummy! Mummy! Mummy! Why aren't you catching it?" Or she'll hand me a doll and tell me I'm the mum and she's the dad and then she'll demand I recite my lines. Doesn't matter if I'm the the middle of something else. If I am sat on the sofa, she will immediately jump on me and demand to be played with.
She also constantly complains. Because home is so tough I try to take her out which is hard when it's so cold and we have a limited budget. I also have an 11yo DS so finding things they both enjoy can be difficult. But when we're out, we will 9/10 come back all of us grumpy and exhausted because she will always find something to complain about and ruin the trip.
And she posseses ZERO patience which means she struggles to learn new things. She can barely read. We try and try to teach her new things to do to entertain her but if she can't get it right first time she throws a huge tantrum and cries and says she can't do anything. She won't keep trying she'll just cry

So AIBU to be at my wit's end with what to do with her this half term? It's not so bad when it's warmer because she plays out with neighbouring kids. But having her home is so hard. She's fun and has a great sense of humour and is incredibly loving but she is SUCH hard work.

Suggestions also welcome.

OP posts:
BarkLife · 15/02/2025 10:47

NewHeaven · 15/02/2025 10:43

Sounds like ADHD, I would get her assessed by an educational psychologist for ADHD.

An EP can’t diagnose ADHD, it’s a medical condition.

@Sacredhandbag take her to the GP, ask to be referred for ADHD assessment via Right to Choose pathway. Before you go, find out which providers operate in your area.

Sacredhandbag · 15/02/2025 10:46

username299 · 15/02/2025 10:41

What are the consequences for her throwing things at you and jumping on you?

She's not "throwing things at me" in that sense, and that was just one example of how she will just start playing a game with me instead of asking if we can play. In that example she's decided to play catch and she honestly just thinks I will catch the ball.
When she jumps on me I tell her not to and if she does it more than once, I will put her in time out. It really hurts when a big seven year old launches themselves on top of you. But I also know she just wants much more attention and connection than I can give.

OP posts:
Zippidydoodah · 15/02/2025 10:45

Use sand timers as a visual to help manage her. So, for example she plays by herself till the sand runs out and then you’ll play with her.

JandamiHash · 15/02/2025 10:44

Sacredhandbag · 15/02/2025 10:38

I don't think she is. I've mentioned it several times to the school but they just say they don't see anything unusual.

Speak to the GP, I don’t have experience but I’m guessing it’s a quicker way to get it identified?

NewHeaven · 15/02/2025 10:43

Sounds like ADHD, I would get her assessed by an educational psychologist for ADHD.

Zippidydoodah · 15/02/2025 10:43

She sounds like she has adhd.

BlondiePortz · 15/02/2025 10:43

Stop giving into her and explain what is appropriate for each incident and stick with it

GreyCarpet · 15/02/2025 10:42

Have you tried saying, "Not right now because I'm doing... but choose a game and I will play with you in 15 mins"?

It sounds like she's 'connection seeking' with you but obviously it can't always be on her terms because you are an adult and have grown up you things to do too!

pandarific · 15/02/2025 10:42

Private ADHD diagnosis - sounds like it tbh. If she has it - by the way what it is is persistently/genetically low dopamine - medication is first line treatment.

username299 · 15/02/2025 10:41

What are the consequences for her throwing things at you and jumping on you?

Pinkmoonshine · 15/02/2025 10:41

Sounds absolutely exhausting.

in the short term you need some kind of routine to take the heat off you. Take her to exercise activities like swimming / sport things to wear her out. Play dates so she has children to play with and parks / outside to burn off her energy.

MrsPatrickDempsey · 15/02/2025 10:40

I think it sounds like she needs guidance to recognise boundaries.

MrsPatrickDempsey · 15/02/2025 10:39

How are you managing her behaviour?

Sacredhandbag · 15/02/2025 10:38

JandamiHash · 15/02/2025 10:37

That sounds really tough and more like toddler behaviour. By 7 they should really be able to play on their own.

I really am not usually ‘that’ poster but I feel like it’s actually relevant here to ask this - is she NT?

I don't think she is. I've mentioned it several times to the school but they just say they don't see anything unusual.

OP posts:
JandamiHash · 15/02/2025 10:38

In the meantime:

  1. holidays clubs
  2. Play dates. Either your house or someone else’s. Either way it takes pressure off you
Hankunamatata · 15/02/2025 10:37

What happens when you tell her to wait or discipline her for her rude behaviour?

JandamiHash · 15/02/2025 10:37

That sounds really tough and more like toddler behaviour. By 7 they should really be able to play on their own.

I really am not usually ‘that’ poster but I feel like it’s actually relevant here to ask this - is she NT?