Group of friends never travel to me?

It's clear they think you're useful for giftgrabs OP. They are not friends, absolutely not. And they are rude. If a friend asked me to come and see her and I couldn't I would atleast respond and tell her why (autistic dc, very hard to leave...) . They are rude and careless about your feelings. I would just quit the group since it's only you making all the efforts. Even with my autistic dc I would come because he would be happy stroking the cat:). You deserve better than this OP❤️

For what it’s worth, I moved a year ago and some of my siblings haven’t even been to see it. A few years ago they would have been first in the door for a look but I find people care less about others these days.

I moved to a new house a few years ago and several of my close friends haven't visited, or have only come once, because we live far away from each other. It's not a big deal. We meet up elsewhere, though not as often as we used to.

When you have small kids, it becomes much harder to be super-close to friends. I would love to see friends more, but it's impossible I'm afraid!

Your outlook seems quite paranoid and negative, and I wonder if therapy might help.

I don’t think they’re that bothered about continuing the friendship OP. It all sounds very surface level. From now on match their energy and see how it goes.

They clearly saw her as a close enough friend to invite her to hens and baby showers.

Sounds to me like they use you when it suits them.

I would leave the friendship group in all honestly. They aren’t your friends.

"We all live about an hour tops from each other in different directions. "

This is a perfect example of a drip feed. My first question reading your OP was how far do you all live from each other. It's good that you've clarified an hour and you've also mentioned petrol costs so presumably it's only accessible by car so they wouldn't get to have a drink unless their partner also came and didn't drink?

I wouldn't go an hour away for just a coffee, but for a party taking a long time, it's quite reasonable. Having to drive would put me off, but presumably you all drive to each other's? If they can't even travel an hour every now and then they're obviously not good friends or just too busy to be your friends. Either way, you need to try to make new friends, which I'm aware can take years.

some posters are being deliberately obtuse on this thread with the whole 'you didn't have to go, it was your choice' etc. of course op chose to go, she wanted to maintain a friendship with these people. That's how friendship works. Op is sad that these people aren't putting any effort into visiting her. I don't understand how you can't be interested in a friend's new home, surely that's a big life milestone that real friends would want to celebrate in some way? Especially if op has invited everyone to a housewarming.

Kindly, OP, I am older than you. I still live and work in the area I was born, as did my parents and now my own children. I have a group of 'old' friends one of whom our parents were bf and we grew up together. None of us have much in common, but we have known each other for so long, (birth/primary school) that this is our bond.
At your age, and with the wisdom of my advancing years/observations of how friendships ebb and flow, I'd cut this group a little loose and look for friends closer to home. It doesn't mean they don't like you, but you are all clearly struggling with different connection needs, and you are getting nothing from the 'friendship' other than insecurity.
Maybe this is more you, maybe them, but the only way you can do this, is to stop feeling you 'should' make the effort for them.
Many of us, have been a slave to this thought process over the years. It's emotionally stifling. Set yourself free and roll on making new friends. They too may come and go. That's just life. I actually really enjoy my neighbours' friendship these days. A good chit chat gossip about the odd ones with a glass of wine and no travelling, is my preference these days.
Don't be sad, don't be bitter, try and accept that lives have moved on. Who knows, you could re-acquaint later on in life and enjoy the catch up.
Good luck 🤞

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I’m in a group of six women, one of them is always inviting us to see her house and seems to have the same complex that none of us will visit her.

There’s multiple reasons why we don’t want to visit, firstly she’s in London, but 45 mins travel from the centre - so not central, but anytime we visit she gets in a huff we won’t come out to hers.
She’s very snappy and makes you feel uncomfortable, goes to bed at 8pm, yet wants us to come and stay, she doesn’t have the room for us all to sleep and we’d have to be quiet / in bed by 8pm…..
I know these aren’t your circumstances, but it’s just giving an example, that there’s various reasons for not wanting to house visit someone.
I’d hate to house visit someone unless I’m really close and then I prefer it 121 - most houses are too small for 6+ people and not really enjoyable to hang out in, I’m not going to waste a precious weekend doing something I don’t enjoy!

Hey OP. You sound like a lovely person and friend. You are acting like any normal and caring friend would. So sorry you are not getting that attention and respect in return.
It does sound like it is getting to you, it would upset and hurt me too.
You are right to join the meet up group and forge other friendships and move on.
Friendships do change and maybe its a nudge for you to do it for your own self respect and self esteem.
You will go on to make meaningful friendships where you will enjoy lovely, fun times together! Best of luck x

I agree with this, it’s awful feeling left out but I think you need to move on and focus on what makes you happy, these people clearly don’t. Enjoy not worrying about them and put the effort in to yourself and people who show a genuine interest. Life’s to short, forget them for now. If they care they’ll come back.

I think when you're starting to feel humiliated or resentful because of how you're being treated then it's time to pull back. This will really negatively affect your self esteem.

I travel much longer than an hour to see my friends, and they do to see me.

I don't even need a reason of a new kitten or a new house. I travelled for about five hours to visit friends this past weekend, and four hours to get home again, and I've done a much longer journey (once) when I had kids still at home - so it is doable.

I would be tempted to just quietly leave the group. If someone then gets in touch, I would be honest and say that I've travelled to go to X event and X event and X's house etc, but nobody has ever taken time to visit you, and you have come to realise that it's never going to happen, and to you, that doesn't feel much like friendship.

I hope you have a better circle of friends in your local area.

When you attend gatherings of all types with these people how are they with you? Do they greet you warmly, go out for their way to chat to you/include you in group conversations, or are you just part of the crowd and after a quick ‘hello, how are you’ upon your arrival they don’t seek you out again?

Sadly, from what you’ve said so far it’s time to move on and focus on other friends and making new ones where you live. Friendships shift in life and that’s ok.

It’s not going to do your self-esteem any good hanging onto this group feeling like you’re only been invited for the generous gifts you bring and bulking out a crowd. No need to flounce and leave the group, just slowly fade away from them and if anyone gets artsy then you are as busy as they are.

I guess I'm afraid of just losing all their friendship.

What friendship? They won't even visit you.

It’s the usual story OP. When your friends get married and have kids and you don’t, what matters to you no longer matters to them. I would concentrate on the new friends you’ve made.

This really doesn't sound fair. You are going out of your way to attend their significant events and they can't be bothered with things that matter to you (I know others have said they wouldn't be fussed about your kitten or home but a real friend would know that those things are important to you and would make the effort). I think once you have done it once you will find it easier to turn them down.

It sounds like your lives have grown apart. Some of them have young children. People get so tired and busy and obsessed with family life at that stage that other things barely register.

But it also sounds like you are a people pleaser and they're not. You spend money you can't afford and go out of duty.
Don't. Spend your money and time and energy on yourself and the people nearest to you who appreciate you most.
Let them go. It's very normal for friendships to drift and to have to make new friends at various stages in life.

I think sometimes you are part of the general group but not especially close to anyone. I feel like that I am fun for a night out and helpful if you need a favour but I’m not central and people forget about me. It sort of is what it is. I’m wuite independent and like my own company, I think groups often seem to rally around more drama llamas types as it’s interesting and exciting whereas I am a donkey just keep plodding along in a dependable fashion.

You’re not expected to do anything, you’re invited but you have options. Are they’re all maybe just busy with everyday life, work, kids and husbands etc and because you don’t have all that you notice the lack of visits?