Group of friends never travel to me?

I wouldn't leave the chat group.

I just would just mute and archive the chat and fade from their view. No drama. Stop trying and no effort.

Don't go to any events they hold and if asked, say politely you can't make it and apologies.

Stop giving them your energy. It's really hurtful when people don't reciprocate your care and attention. But you have to stop expecting them to change. They won't. You'll just keep on getting hurt. Be kinder to yourself and stop trying to get responses out of these people.

I'm sorry op. I hope you develop better friendships.

Erm where are the pictures of the kitten? You are very unreasonable not to have posted a picture. I need kitten pictures, or else I could come and visit you

yeah people are getting way too fixated on the housewarming
Since when does there have to be a massive reason or celebration to visit a friend? If a 'housewarming' isn't a big enough reason to come and meet up with a friend, what is? If wedding/baby are the only two things 'big' enough to warrant a catch up then surely most people wouldn't see their friends more than three times during a lifetime! Surely you can hear how nonsensical that is!

I go over friends' houses just for a takeaway/coffee, as it's cheaper/easier when someone can't get a babysitter!

There are some strange responses here. Most people put themselves out a little for a friend, spend some money on them and do things to support them.

YANBU op. It could be strange group dynamics where you’ve been designated the slight outcast, the others feel closer because you’re the friend on the edge of the group. What was your friendship like at uni?

Or it could be they think they are more mature now they’ve got married and had kids. This often stems from a jealousy that you don’t have the demands of kids and they miss their old lives. I’ve experienced this a lot from friends with babies (despite having older teens myself and spending my early 20’s parenting). They resent your lifestyle and become quite spiteful about other people.

But if it's a group of 7, there are 6 others to visit alongside all the other family commitments, kids activities etc. Something's always gotta give. I agree with PP about the level of commitment just being out of whack, not innately wrong. OP messaged friend. Friend sent nice reply. OP replied. No reply. OP takes this to heart rather than sees it as enough. They are her friends but not enough for the level OP wants, so she needs to find that elsewhere. It doesn't mean this group don't like her. It's just clear what their limit is and it's not enough for the OP. As I said, 7 is a big group. Not everyone will be in the thick of things.

I get it OP. Save your energy on the new work friends 🧡

I'm not sure why you would be inviting people who don't seem to care for you to your wedding anyway.

Move on.

I wasn’t aware you had to be someone’s close friend to consider visiting them but perhaps it’s an age thing. The older you get the more you CBA.

But are these people you would ask to be bridesmaids etc?

It’s not in any way your ‘fault’, it’s just that you again want more engagement with these people than they want. You messaged, she replied, so you messaged again, and are upset she didn’t reply again. You seem to constantly want more from this group, individually and collectively, than they are giving you.

But you can’t compel more engagement, OP. You can’t say ‘Oh, but I wouldn’t dream of not going to X’s hen party or not replying to Y’s text’ and compel other people to adopt your same model of friendship. Clearly these people want less engagement. The are happy to invite you to things, but are not sufficiently engaged to travel to see you. They’re happy to reply to your text, but not to keep a longer conversation going. We don’t know why, but it’s irrelevant really. Or do you honestly think they would travel to your baby shower or hen party or wedding?

Maube you get in there first with a firm thought out plan of a restaurant/event in between you all or in your city, different weekends suggested etc

And then if they cba then you know to drop them and let them know you're disappointed

You aren't really listening to anyone OP. You don't need to go to anything but the main thing is they clearly don't see you as a close friend

Or maybe it's Saturday afternoon and she's planning a wedding and she's busy. She replied. She didn't ignore you.

You need to step back if this offends you so much.

My partner doesn't even reply to multiple messages in a row if he's busy.

Let it go its sounds one sided friendships... op our friend moved out of Dublin. We visit her next month. We try and keep it fair she not always travelling. Maybe you outgrew these friends?

They are not your friends op.

True friendships give and take from each other. You're doing all the giving. Drop them and find people worth bothering with.

I have a baby and toddler and the thought of travelling for an hour to someone's house who doesn't have children themselves would actually make me feel really stressed as it's more likely to have breakable things/be child unfriendly and I'd be worried the whole time about them 'behaving' etc.

I would say you've just drifted apart at this point in life, It's nothing personal but when you do have young children you tend to gravitate towards others who also do as you then feel much less pressure or judgement from those who understand just how consuming it really is.

I don’t think it’s about life events. I think if they valued your friendship they would make the effort. I would absolutely travel an hour to see a friend’s new house. (Though expecting them to want to visit a kitten is a bit unusual. That would be a pleasant extra, not a reason to travel).
Please don’t invite them again if they haven’t even bothered to reply, that is so rude.
I don’t mean this unkindly, but reading your post made me think of an old school friend. Because we’d all been friends forever, and in the same group, she would always be invited and included in things we did, but I personally never considered her a close friend. I just didn’t click with her as much. I think a lot of us felt the same. I suppose we weren’t really her tribe, but no one would have kicked her out of the group iykwim.
This was years ago now, and I lost touch with all but two of them. I know she still meets up with the others, but I hope she has other good friends in her life, as I don’t think she was ever a priority for those she stayed in touch with.

I can see why it makes you feel shit, op, especially when you make an effort to visit them. It’s a strange one, they obviously like you enough that they keep inviting you to things, but they’re not making an effort to come see you & ignoring invites, which isn’t what good friends do.

If it was me, I would be declining invites they send in future, I would just stop making myself available for them.
The friendship is not making you feel good - focus your energies elsewhere, you will feel better in the long run.