Aibu to think OH shouldn’t go on family holiday without us?

You sound jealous of his relationship with his family in another note your poor children having to live with the fact that you are continually splitting up can you not see what damage this will do to them?

I think your husband should go on the holiday with his family and take the children, they will enjoy themselves and you can stay at home, seething and being offended. I am really surprised you're still together, frankly, your life doesn't sound like much fun.

Sounds like you’re jealous that he has a good relationship with his family and you’re just being awkward to put a downer on the whole thing. If you don’t want to go that’s fine but he should and he shouldn’t have to feel bad about it

YANBU You have another house you can live in, you have maintenance. Wtf are you still with him? Have some self respect. He will NEVER have you back, and you know it. He has no respect for you at all, and doesn't see you as family. Get some self respect, tell him you're leaving him and this time is for real.

thinking of a holiday to France in June, and wondered if you would like to come with the girls and DP?

This is the exact kind of message anyone in my family would send. It's never occurred to me before but I should probably go NC will them all immediately as I can see now that they are all toxic, devious people. Thanks for opening my eyes to it OP!

I think YABU and make mountains out of molehills.

Even the comment the gf heavily judged how I was going to manage a child (cars,living arrangements etc) about 2 hours before I found out we’d lost our first baby
Doesn't make sense. She didn't have a crystal ball. And how you've laid it all out I imagine the "judgement" was nothing if the sort

This!
The problem is you OP you sound extremely confrontational and unforgiving, your MIL is obviously trying to build bridges and you’re determined to smash them down. the only loser here will be you, you sound very mean spirited.
If I was your OH I’d go and take the children and have a fabulous time.

You are fed up of him going on holiday with you and your daughters, but you are all invited to go.
if you don’t like him going without you then go aswell.

You sound like the problem here, op. It almost seems like you're looking for a problem.

I don’t think it’s fair to just tell him he can’t go. Why doesn’t he get a say. If it works timing wise let him go with your daughters and you stay home

Can your husband take the DC? That way they get a nice holiday but you don't have to socialise with the in-laws.

How old are the children? If they were school age I wouod have been annoyed that it had been booked during termtime, but thats about it.
Other than that, I can't really see any issues. What is your relationship like with your family, do they get on well with your DH? Just wondering if this is part of a bigger picture?
Seperate to the holiday, you and partner do need to make a decision about the future of your relationship, all this splitting and getting back together can't be great for your children

With you saying you feel like you’re not a team. I can’t really blame him, you have broken up so many times you live separately and he pays child maintenance, he’s not going to want to fall out with his whole family/support network for a relationship that honestly sounds doomed to fail.

She said mil has dis respected her over her child's safety and car seats, among other things.

Whatever bil did, it was enough to warrant a promise of a phone call apology

Talking about someone in front of them isn't nice behaviour

Remember you're hearing only one side of the story. It would be interesting to hear the other side.

Are you privy to information were not. There's been no indication they've acted like idiots and she's invited on the holidays and refused to go so is he just supposed to cut his whole family off because the OP dislikes them? A tad controlling of her don't you think...

What were they saying about DD? Perhaps that was their attempt at bringing you into the conversation but you didn’t recognise the cue?

You know that SIL had no idea you were going to lose your baby? The 2 things aren’t linked, they were coincidental. Was she asking as you and your partner are quite on/off with 2 homes and she wondered how it was going to work?

It does sound like you can be quite adversarial and fall out easily, then hold a grudge.

She probably doesn't like them because they all act like idiots.. ops boyfriend is a fool as well... clearly leaving his family to go on holiday , of course they have no respect for op.

But this isn't them all taking sides this is the OP not liking her in-laws and also separately not liking her brother in law and his girlfriend. She also on several occasions dislikes her other half so much she's split with him set up a new home and filed a child maintenance claim. This is definitely an OP problem.

They sound quite unpleasant, as do you, but I’d send him off with the dc to France and enjoy your relaxing break at home. I wouldn’t be saddled with the kids while he swanned off on a 2 week holiday though. Let him solo parent overstimulated hot children and get on with his life choices. Dh likes to holiday with his family. I don’t. Fine, off to France he went with dc for 2 weeks last summer. It was great for me. I don’t need to be glued to my children 24/7.

Goodness, just let him go!! You were invited. You don't want to go, that's fine. But let him go.
If a person is repeatedly falling out with other people, it's a good idea for them to examine their own behaviour rather than always blaming other people.

I wouldn't count the family of inalws as 'a lot of ppl.' Usually not always , if you fall out with one family member they all support each other.

Maybe his family aren’t keen on you / this relationship, because you keep splitting up, then getting back together. It must be very dramatic

Exactly! What. A. Bitch!

Either there’s a huge amount of relevant info missing, or PP is correct that this sounds like normal ILS communication difficulties that many of us experience but manage to get over.

All the previous times you split with DP, what were the reasons for that?

@Klovos
There is no need to quote the entire lengthy OP, just @Peachy789 is enough.