Mums strange lie

You being ready to comfort her doesn't mean she's ready to confront whatever it is.

It's like forcing someone to revisit their trauma just because you've decided it's the right time.

If she felt she could confide in you amd get your support, she would have by now.

Let her deal with it her own way and be there for her IF and WHEN she decides to talk about it.

There're things in my past I'd rather not talk about. Bringing them up irl would open up a can of worms.

It's filed away but I know I'll have to deal with it at some point.
Certainly wouldn't be happy having someone else decide when that should be.

You're an adult now OP. You have your DM around, appreciate that and realise that sometimes being supportive is not going digging.

Agree. Childhood trauma should be taken seriously, as it can be very damaging.

It should be acknowledged and those who suffered it be supported and work through it via therapy.

OP didn't say her mum did a full twirl for her when she walked in, her back could easily have been blank.

Instead of bring up the past again which has caused upset between you before, why don't you ask her about the tattoos this time instead? It might be a better way to get her to open up.

Sorry you went through that, PaperAeroplane

According to Google They do still use body drawings to show injuries.
They did with me, like I said over twenty five years ago now, The hospitals the police use for these sort of things are called Havens. Mine was in south London, I'm guessing it's the same all over the country.

As your mum was so upset when you witnessed her in the shower it could be possible that she'd been attacked and the markings on her body were from a police haven centre.
I has to use one over twenty five years ago, they circled injuries on my body and photographed them, they also use body map drawings.
I hope that hasn't happened to your mum but if it has even though your entitled to have a reaction to being witness to the aftermath I doubt the reason for your mum not wanting to talk about it are selfish ones.
It's an awful experience, do you think she could have suffered abuse from your dad. Maybe that's why she doesn't want to tell you?
I know a woman who has the dot dot dot and arrow tattoo, it signifies past present and future and the arrow can signify progression/moving forward.

@AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta i agree with that too.

@OverTheTopOfTheMountain When something has been affecting you all of your life, yes it’s ok to ask for clarification. Actually it would be ok to ask anyone, just not a mother.

I do agree with you but I also think it would be wise for the OP to consider and have a backup plan for what they'll do if no answers are forthcoming. That's why maybe making some plans for therapy might be a good move IMO.

I’ve experience trauma as a child.
It took me years to start seing it. It was so normal I was still in the ‘it’s my fault’ mode as an adult.
Now that I’m sorting through that, doing EMRD etc….things are finally settling down. The scales are falling from my eyes. And yes I would contemplate asking in a case like the OP.
When something has been affecting you all of your life, yes it’s ok to ask for clarification. Actually it would be ok to ask anyone, just not a mother.

Sometimes parents act strangely, sometimes we remember the event vividly years later, when we ourselves are adults.
I think in the case of abuse it should definitely be addressed, no matter how much time has passed.
In this case , the trauma your mum went through, and inadvertently you saw, bringing it all up again, even if your mother tells all, might make you feel better, what will it do for her?

Before you do broach the subject with her again, ask yourself which is the most important.

Well yes and that was obviously a choice the OPs mum made. But as she's not the one posting about this we can't know how she feels about that.

So upsetting things we experience as a child should just be forgotten once we are adults?
The parent can help her move on from this by just having an honest discussion. It is the least she can do.

But the OP is not a child anymore even if she is still her mother’s child.

Yep, I get it.
But surely, the result as broken trust was obvious too?

I completely agree with this!!

It does when you carry the trauma from it.

Clearly it matters to the op. Traumatic events can have a lasting impression particularly on dc and shouldn't be dismissed or minimised.

Does it really matter now? 🤷‍♀️

For that reason alone she has every right to pursue this. Who leaves a 7yr old alone?! Obviously there were serious issues be it mh or drugs problems but the op was involved as she was vulnerable and left alone, she saw her parent in a disturbed state and now has the tattoos rehashing it all.

Yes, OP confirmed that she was left alone that day. It didn't seem like a very long time but 7 is still extremely young to do so. That alone suggests that MH, drugs, crime or esoterica might be related to the incident.

Do you really think that as a parent you are in your own bubble and your actions only affect your child if and when you decide they do? Do you think you can dictate how someone deals with the fallout of something you did? That's not very responsible.

She didn't close that door and now OP has questions that need answering.

The point is that the tragedy my own mum suffered distressed her so much she didn't ever want to talk about it.
From what the OP says, whatever her mum went through, she didn't want to talk about it...not then, not now.

In hindsight, perhaps OP's mum shouldn't have told her months later she had dreamt it, but that sounds like a mother trying to protect her child, not gaslighting her.

Alien abduction.