Mums strange lie

Some kind of sexual assault where drawing on her was part of the humiliation?

Whatever happened, it was obviously hugely significant for her if she got tattoos referencing it later. It’s clear she doesn’t want to talk about it though and I would respect that - as frustrating as that may be for you.

I see what you're saying, but I don't think we have to jump to the worst possible conclusion

She might have been embarrassed about being a life drawing model, she'd done it since college but her husband didn't know. She agreed to be drawn on this time, but didn't think it out. So needed to remove the evidence before he saw. She was stressed because the drawings didn't come off easily. Her DH was due back home any minute. She just wanted to earn a few extra quid. Years later she remembers her wilder youth with nostalgia, and wants to be reminded with a tattoo

Truth is, unless the mum tells the OP, they'll never know. But the answer doesn't have to be that she was abused or into kink or in a cult. There are less upsetting possibilities.

yay! @TwoFatDucklings .thats where my head went...or maybe accupuncture?

@dontsaystuff YANBU OP. Whatever happened to your DM was clearly very distressing and something she obviously doesn't want to revisit, but saying you've dreamt it all up in an effort to avoid any further conversation about it is undermining and unkind. Maybe you should explain this to her - that you understand she doesn't seem to want to tell you the truth of what happened to her, but to deny what you saw, that you asked her about it repeatedly at the time, and to claim if was a figment of your imagination is not fair to you. The least she could do is admit something did happen and the markings you saw were real, even if she doesn't want to discuss it further - and you would have to respect her wishes in this regards.
I hope you get some answers OP.

She quite obviously doesn't want to talk about it so leave her be. As for not being fair suggesting you dreamt it, in the kindest way grow up. Lastly these tattoos sound quite identifying so you may want to delete this thread.

It's obviously something that was traumatic for her that she'd now rather not discuss and pretend it didn't happen. You needing to know, isn't more important than her wishes on this. I think in your shoes I'd park it as it doesn't sound like you will get any answers from her.

I'm sorry that sounds really confusing, must have been upsetting for you. And for your mum too.
I've never heard of this sort of thing but I found this site about bdsm symbols I wonder if the marks looked anything like this:
https://www.patreon.com/posts/bdsm-symbols-99910946

Are you close to her? If so perhaps you need to sit her down and explain that this has been affecting you from the day you witnessed it, that you understand she may have been trying to protect you and herself but that this has a profound affect on you and her secretive behaviour until this day continues to upset you. The tattoo sounds like an odd thing considering the background.

You can accept (and tell her so) that she may not want to speak about this but that this does not negate the upsetting long term affect it has had on you and that your mind has naturally gone to to some horrible places imagining what this could be related to. If she still will not share I would leave it and not menthol again, but I think you do have a right to express your feelings on this at least once.

Wouldn't explain her intense distress. It sounds like it was done against her will.

Getting similar tattoos, years later, does look as though she's reclaiming the marks - reasserting her bodily autonomy.

How upsetting, OP.

This happened when you were 7 or 8, and she told you that you made it up when you were a couple years older than that, so 9 or 10 is that correct? I think she probably just wanted you to stop asking her about it, so she told you that you had imagined it. She probably thought she was protecting you if something bad really did happen.

I don't know that "fair" comes into it one way or the other; she probably didn't anticipate getting the tattoos however many years ago it was that you were 9 or 10 years old.

You could ask her the significance of the tattoos? But you may have to accept that you'll never know what happened.

I think it sounds as though somebody did that against her will. It's not radiotherapy if it's all over her body. She was very upset and scrubbing them off which indicates she didn't want them there in the first place. What sort of men does your mum mix with, OP?

What is she was a life drawing model and they drew on her as part of the art or to highlight the shapes of her muscles and features

My radiotherapy tattoos are all just dots.
I've 3 in total and although they're not big, they are enough for the beam to hit.

There are a variety of systems of lines used by surgeons to reduce scarring and improve healing - one of which are known as Langer's lines.
I imagine that some medics who have studied them may view them erotically. If your mum had health worries that she didn't want to share, she may have felt/been obliged to allow someone to use her skin.
She may feel that she's protecting you from something.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Langer%27s_lines

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kraissl%27s_lines

Some kind of cult?

How bizarre. Doesn't sound like she's going to tell you sadly.

So was there back then a man who may have been controlling in her life? Were the lines in places she couldn’t reach? If so someone put them there.

mental ill health is what comes to mind

I’ve just seen a photo of her that shows a series of dashed lines tattooed on her other arm

Can you go into a little more detail about this? Is this a new photo she’s uploaded to Facebook or something - with a full sleeve of straight lines tattooed down her entire arm? Is this expected behaviour from your mum?

Or is this an old photo you came across in a drawer? And she no longer has this big sleeve tattoo?

Is your mum a secretive person in general? Would you always know, roughly, where she is on a given day? Does she live alone, do you know her friends?

I have no idea where I pulled such a notion-far less of plausiblity-could she have been posing life model?arrows etc markm out shape etc...

Pull yourself together dear.

From what you have said it might be that she was abused. That would be good reason for her not to talk about it. Obviously it was upsetting for you but she's tried to protect you from it. You may just need to leave the subject alone.

Kink was the first thing I thought of too.

Gosh how odd