Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Going all out for your kids on valentines day

235 replies

Supergirl1958 · 14/02/2025 20:43

Seriously when did that become a thing! Tonight I’ve been told it’s ’on me’ that I feel guilty because it’s splashed all over my social media feeds about the efforts parents have gone to, balloons, presents, cakes, breakfasts for their children on Valentine’s Day?

Like AIU to think it shouldn’t be another thing to pressure parents into feeling guilty? Like the elf and so on!!

OP posts:
Supergirl1958 · 14/02/2025 21:13

NewYou42 · 14/02/2025 21:11

But you are being ridiculous and it is affecting you. Just look at your replies. So what if it is for likes? You can have a mind of your own and not care what random Joe is doing. I don't do elf, valentines, and all these silly little things and it doesn't even cross my mind to feel bad about it just because someone else does it. You are way too invested in SM.
I'm sure you do many things as a parent, that other people don't as well.

But you like telling people how they should and shouldn’t feel, because it clearly bothers you that it’s a thing that I am bothered by it!

OP posts:
Househunter2025 · 14/02/2025 21:13

Supergirl1958 · 14/02/2025 20:53

Thank fcuk I never have to frequent a school playground as a parent! I’m a teacher so I never get to drop my son at school (sadly :( )

I honestly wish I didn’t feel guilty, and I know I shouldn’t! I’m more hacked off that I was told it’s ’on me’ by a friend that I feel guilty about it, despite it being rubbed in my face all day and all over my feed! I put a lot of effort in with my son all of the time! He’s also SEND so it’s extra tricky, I just don’t need the added pressure! That’s exactly what it is! It’s parents showing off for social media scoring points!

If you've been looking at your "feed" all day then it is on you, yes. You are addicted to social media and it's harming you. That is the issue, not whether other families celebrate valentine's day. You know it's just about likes so why do you attach so much importance to it?

StSwithinsDay · 14/02/2025 21:13

@Supergirl1958
But you say it makes you feel guilty. So it is affecting you.
Is there a reason you can't stop looking at Instagram? Find healthier ways to live your life.

Deeperthantheocean · 14/02/2025 21:12

Is it a thing to do this? Ridiculous, just like gender reveal and baby showers. I feel sorry for the gullible part of the younger generation who think they should do it, and I mean part because not all succumb.

Totally unrealistic SM driven crap IMO. X

NewYou42 · 14/02/2025 21:11

But you are being ridiculous and it is affecting you. Just look at your replies. So what if it is for likes? You can have a mind of your own and not care what random Joe is doing. I don't do elf, valentines, and all these silly little things and it doesn't even cross my mind to feel bad about it just because someone else does it. You are way too invested in SM.
I'm sure you do many things as a parent, that other people don't as well.

foghead · 14/02/2025 21:11

stargirl1701 · 14/02/2025 21:07

It's International Book Giving Day. That's what I celebrate.

Is it?
Why don't we get behind that?
I love that.
In fact, even if someone wanted to give me a valentines gift, I'd prefer a book.

PheasantPluckers · 14/02/2025 21:10

Supergirl1958 · 14/02/2025 21:04

Bit dramatic to use ‘affect you so much’ I genuinely don’t let it ‘affect me’ at all just genuinely debating whether this should be a thing and whether it is on me that I should feel guilty about not making an effort or not! Just so happens that social media is the vessel that has promoted this discussion!

You're the one that said it made you feel guilty.

528htz · 14/02/2025 21:10

People are celebrating any auld shite now.

Yay, it's Wednesday/second week in June/the guinea pig's birthday/new mug day/mid menstrual cycle day/the postman's aunt's dog's remembrance day/founding of Clacton on Sea day 😂😂😂

The ongoing functioning of your vital organs is not dependent on what you post on Instagram.

PheasantPluckers · 14/02/2025 21:08

Supergirl1958 · 14/02/2025 20:57

It’s all well and good that you have that mind set! Lucky you! But if you have genuinely gone through your life putting something on social media and not expecting the likes for doing it, then you’re a better person than me! That’s exactly what all these people are doing. Expecting the likes! It’s always for the likes. So I don’t think I am being ridiculous. There is a reason why ‘Instagram vs reality’ is a thing!

Then stop looking.

Mind blown.

MyLimeGuide · 14/02/2025 21:08

Toottooot · 14/02/2025 20:59

They’ll be putting the Easter trees up next, getting their geets to write their lists for the Easter bunny to deliver just like Santa. All for Instagram/tik tok.

There are easter trees in the Range.

stargirl1701 · 14/02/2025 21:07

It's International Book Giving Day. That's what I celebrate.

Londonrach1 · 14/02/2025 21:07

Strange...it's just a day in February. .I'm lucky I've a lovely husband and we just gave cards .. but no way stop me doing anything or him.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 14/02/2025 21:07

Valentines day is not for children. It’s about romantic and sexual love. Let them wait until it’s their turn.

Covidwoes · 14/02/2025 21:06

Absolute heap of social media shite. No need!

Supergirl1958 · 14/02/2025 21:04

PeloMom · 14/02/2025 21:03

Why would you feel guilty? We all know people don’t do this in a meaningful way; it’s for the likes.

Exactly my point. So it’s not on me, if it is just for likes!

OP posts:
528htz · 14/02/2025 21:04

This is ridiculous. Valentines day stuff for your children?! 😂 People are like sheep.

Supergirl1958 · 14/02/2025 21:04

StSwithinsDay · 14/02/2025 21:01

Why do you let social media affect you so much? Surely it would be healthier to stop looking at what other people do and actually participate in healthy real life activities?

Bit dramatic to use ‘affect you so much’ I genuinely don’t let it ‘affect me’ at all just genuinely debating whether this should be a thing and whether it is on me that I should feel guilty about not making an effort or not! Just so happens that social media is the vessel that has promoted this discussion!

OP posts:
PeloMom · 14/02/2025 21:03

Why would you feel guilty? We all know people don’t do this in a meaningful way; it’s for the likes.

StSwithinsDay · 14/02/2025 21:01

Why do you let social media affect you so much? Surely it would be healthier to stop looking at what other people do and actually participate in healthy real life activities?

Toottooot · 14/02/2025 20:59

They’ll be putting the Easter trees up next, getting their geets to write their lists for the Easter bunny to deliver just like Santa. All for Instagram/tik tok.

EasterIssland · 14/02/2025 20:58

I don’t feel guilty of not having done anything for my son. I think it’s ridiculous. I feel valentines is mainly for purchasing things rather than proving love. I’ve never celebrated and feel the world is going mad with this parents - kids trend

Supergirl1958 · 14/02/2025 20:57

Strawberryfruitcorner · 14/02/2025 20:53

It is on you, you can’t live your life like this. You need to make your own decisions on how you live your life and own it!!

Social media is the biggest sales tool to ever exist and lots of people have fallen into the trap. It’s a consumerism dream.

We don’t do elf on a shelf.
We don’t do Christmas Eve boxes and matching pyjamas.
I didn’t do a gender reveal and post it etc etc

If people do then I’m happy for them and hope they enjoy it.

We have a brilliant life and make decisions for our family not because social media made us feel guilty.

It’s all well and good that you have that mind set! Lucky you! But if you have genuinely gone through your life putting something on social media and not expecting the likes for doing it, then you’re a better person than me! That’s exactly what all these people are doing. Expecting the likes! It’s always for the likes. So I don’t think I am being ridiculous. There is a reason why ‘Instagram vs reality’ is a thing!

OP posts:
Chocolate85 · 14/02/2025 20:57

A lot of my friends do it and some have posted it on social media. I personally find it a bit cringe and it’s not something I have or will engage in; my kids have other days about them, today is about romantic love in my opinion. But then I don’t feel remotely guilty or get upset about others doing it.

foghead · 14/02/2025 20:56

Never did anything for Valentine's Day for kids. Nobody I know does.
It's different in the US. Maybe you're seeing a lot of stuff from there.
My friend who moved there rolls her eyes at buying the teacher and classmates Valentine's Day cards, which is expected.

MissHollysDolly · 14/02/2025 20:55

Since when is this a thing? I had two people today wish everyone on the teams call a happy Valentine's Day. And loads of people on Facebook posting happy Valentine's Day to my lovely family. Is this a new thing

Swipe left for the next trending thread