Going all out for your kids on valentines day

Isn’t it? That’s news to me.

Of course: That’s what Christmas and birthdays are for.

I got a wee gift off my mum in the 80s and 90s!

I got my kids a little thing. Didn't put it on social media cos I don't really post much.

I just don't understand, genuinely, why people get so irate about it. Cue someone saying they're not irate they're just commenting when actually their posts are irritable and full of vitriol.

Who cares?

Haven't RTFT yet, but this morning, my DS looked a little forlorn when I opened a Valentine's card from my DH (we don't go all out, just cards and maybe some chocs).

DS wanted to know why he didn't get a card.

I did feel a bit guilty but stuck to my resolve and explained that Valentine's Day was a day to express love for husbands and wives, partners, boyfriends and girlfriends, etc.

I think actually, we do loads for kids and try to make 99% of things about kids, that it's probably good for them to see and understand that not everything revolves around them.

I don't necessarily think that getting gifts for children on Valentine's Day or, for example, when parents give siblings presents on birthdays so they don't feel left out, etc. Is the best thing for kids. It doesn't help to teach them that the world is bigger than them.

I’m with you OP. I swear none of my friends have ever done anything for their kids for Valentine’s Day yet today on social media they were all over it with decorations, presents etc. Feel like I missed a memo somewhere in the last year that this is now a thing.

Valentines day isn't or doesn't have to be just about romantic love. Surely you know that other kinds of love exist?

It is on you. Either do it or don't do it, what other people do doesn't matter.

Mine had heart waffles for breakfast and then a little basket of treats such as a teddy, a few chocs etc.

It's just a bit of fun.

Not everyone does it for the likes. I made a fuss at breakfast, the three DC had little presents, cards, chocolates, my DH got me flowers, candle, new water bottle. It’s just nice. Wouldn’t dream of posting any of it on social media though.

I do it just because my children would like it.

English bloke here. What the hell is this creepy rubbish?

Valentine’s cards are exclusively for someone you’re already shagging and wish to continue doing so, or someone you haven’t shagged yet but hope to. 😄

To me, sending a Valentine’s card to anyone who’s not a potential partner would be the height of creepiness. I’m not joking. Involving children in Valentine’s exchanges is sick. Have I missed something?

When will you learn not to outsource your self-worth and validation to social media and 'likes'.

Exactly. What is missing in your life that you feel that you need 'likes'.

What is the argument? Are you angry at your friend and taking it out on posters here?

It's on you if you feel guilty about it. I wouldn't let other people's social media posters make me feel guilty about not doing something. Are you feeling guilty because you wanted to do something for Valentines day but couldn't? I got my DD a card, some sweets, a flower and a Teddy but that's only because she makes me a card and ''buys" me a coffee.

When will you learn not to outsource your self-worth and validation to social media and 'likes'.

You've been completely had OP. As in they've got you. They've turned you into a consumer-chomping champion if you succumb to this nonsense.

It's not that it's on you. It's that the joke is on you. You're caught up in a never-ending vacuous world of trying to impress other people in an effort to be 'popular' on SM.

What a way to waste your cash and countless valuable hours of keeping up with the Jones'.

Stop now! The most confident people are highly individual thinkers that don't buy brands and don't follow influencers and certainly don't post on SM for likes. Give up this terrible soul-destroying habit. Stop feeding the Facebook/Instagram machine.

I left that world 4 years ago and haven't looked back. It's been such a relief and I love that these days I'm mysterious and no one knows anything about me!

Yes you did. You said "Like AIU to think it shouldn’t be another thing to pressure parents into feeling guilty? "
What I mean is that you're unreasonable to think you need to feel guilty for not taking part. If you are confident in your decisions you don't need to feel bad. I choose to give my children a very small gift on valentine's because I think love is a lovely thing to celebrate. We don't celebrate Halloween because it's all of my least favorite things rolled into one holiday, and I don't feel guilty for not doing it because it doesn't fit with my values, nor do I think that other people who do take part are pressuring me or making me feel guilty.

I’ve always got my kids a little something and they’re teenagers now! It’s a day to celebrate the ones you love so that’s my justification!

When i was a child valentines was marketed(?) as "sweethearts day" Dad woulda got flowers\chocolates\whatever. for mum...and sign card ??? I dont remember mum get him a card-tho Mum would say was definately from Paul Newman. Then we would go to the bernie inn

I really hate valentine's day and finally after many years have convinced DP that I'm being serious, and it hasn't been mentioned once in my house.

But even if I did celebrate it, I wouldn't give anything to my kids. For me, valentine's day is a day to celebrate your romantic partner. Just like how mother's day and father's day celebrate mothers and fathers.

It's another thing we seem to have imported from North America. We moved to Canada 18 years ago when the kids were really young and each of them got valentine cards and sweets from everyone in the class. It was a real pain, obviously I did it too the next year so the kids didn't feel bad but I really resented it.

I hope you gave her a detention. I just asked her to sit down because she had missed the start of phonics. Now she will never know 'ff'.

Absolutely! 🤣

Mine "helped" make cards when they were little, and inventing silly valentines rhymes (aka poorly disguised fart jokes). It was all just a bit of fun.

I don't like the consumerism of spending on pointless impersonal stuff that will be forgotten about in a few weeks time, but if your DC like doing crafts or colouring in then it's a nice, free activity the weekend before.

I think people are being harsh because it’s not just social media if your children are the only ones not getting valentines breakfasts, if they are seeing their peers get flowers and toys at pickup (super weird that parents do this!), if all their friends are talking about things. It’s similar to Easter when it used to be get one egg and now it’s really over the top baskets. I hate it because as another poster pointed out it’s another thing for children with low income parents or parents that can’t physically/mentally keep up with all the expectations to miss out on. (Talking about things like class valentines which I hope for everyone sakes don’t make it to the UK).
imagine being the only child to not have the funds to give out cards/treats to your peers. It makes me feel so sad.

I'm not sure why you're getting such a hard time on here. We are all different and therefore, different things affect us in different ways.
I agree with you OP- social media creates lots of pressure but it sounds like you've not swayed to and are doing your own thing but it doesn't mean you shouldn't be annoyed to your friend making a snippy comment x