Page 4 | Kids giving other kids valentines gifts

Eviemai · 2025-02-14T16:42:54+00:00

So my DD is 5, she’s in her first year of school and today she has come out of school quite teary. Her class only has 14 kids, 6 girls and 8 boys. Shes very close to 2 of the girls in the class but they all play together. One of the little girls came out of school today with a rose, a little teddy bear, balloon and some sweets or similar. I joked to her mum “oh someone was popular”. Another little girl followed with a rose and teddy bear. Got chatting to the parents and realised that 4 of the little boys had given valentines gifts and cards to 2 of the girls, 3 to one girl and one to another. The rest of the kids weren’t part of it at all. DD got a little upset saying no one got her a valentines, I took her to the shop and let her pick some sweets and got her some flowers for her room but she still seems sad. TBH I’m confused as to why this is a thing? Since when did little boys take valentines presents in for little girls? AIBU to think it’s really weird and if it is going to happen it should be done outside of school so no one gets their feelings hurt.

TrixieFatell · 14/02/2025 20:38

I remember getting valentine's gifts at primary in the 1980s so I don't think it's a new thing. My daughter also got given presents for valentine's day in primary, mainly cuddly toys but once some jewellery a boy had taken out of his mum's room which we gave straight back 😂 it's not caused her any issues, her and her boyfriend (she's now 17) haven't bothered buying anything for eachother this year because they want to spend it on other gifts.

My son didn't get anything this year and his friends did. He says he's not bothered by it (he's in year 4)

beautyqueeen · 14/02/2025 20:33

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm · 14/02/2025 20:26

Are you saying having blonde hair makes your child superior? Are you alright?

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Lol try reading the thread hun 😂😂😂

MadKittenWoman · 14/02/2025 20:29

HarraKiri · 14/02/2025 18:04

I'd usually say this was ick and definitely not something I would encourage, butttt my DS8 (who is very quiet and nerdy, and not a 'football' boy, and plays with the girls all the time, and gets picked on a bit by the boys) came home with EIGHT cards from the girls in his class today, some Lego, a Roblox voucher and loads of chocolates 😂 I've never seen anything like it!!!

He was utterly chuffed, and the cards were all beautifully written with girls telling him how kind and helpful he is etc. I thinkkk one of the girls is a bit of a queen bee and has a soft spot for him, and has noticed the boys pick on him, so used her popularity to rally her friends into making DS feel special today, and utterly ignoring all the other boys.

It's made his, and my, day/week/month/year.

So no, let the kids get appreciated by their friends for one day, I'm a big fan of it now!

[flowers}

admirible · 14/02/2025 20:28

It’s just life. Some girls get the valentines some don’t.

RaraRachael · 14/02/2025 20:28

A vague relative's husband has always got flowers delivered to their daughter- now 7 - proper florists bouquet type.

Nonsense

Nothitrockbottomyet · 14/02/2025 20:27

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 14/02/2025 19:52

@Nothitrockbottomyet

Were they American? I live in the US now and it's definitely a thing here. I got my kids stuff, they made me a card, and they handed out things to every child in the class.

I didn't realise it was an American thing.

They weren't American but they were very " cosmopolitan " and had moved around a lot - they didn't stay long in my area. So it's quite possible they had lived in the US.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm · 14/02/2025 20:26

beautyqueeen · 14/02/2025 20:16

I don’t get the ‘all or none’ mentality, it’s Valentine’s Day, it’s about showing ‘love’ for your favourite person! No wonder there’s so many kids/young adults with no resilience and an entitled attitude if this is people’s approach! Terry fancies Polly but can’t send her a card unless he sends all the class one too incase someone’s feelings are hurt…mental!

Although I do have a blonde child who received a couple cards and gifts today so maybe I’m part of the problem 😂😂

Are you saying having blonde hair makes your child superior? Are you alright?

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm · 14/02/2025 20:25

Some of my friends have given their toddlers “roses from daddy” and it makes my skin crawl.

godmum56 · 14/02/2025 20:20

JillMW · 14/02/2025 19:31

Yes Doggymummar, we did it in the 2960’s

oh look a time traveller just outed themselves 😂

beautyqueeen · 14/02/2025 20:16

I don’t get the ‘all or none’ mentality, it’s Valentine’s Day, it’s about showing ‘love’ for your favourite person! No wonder there’s so many kids/young adults with no resilience and an entitled attitude if this is people’s approach! Terry fancies Polly but can’t send her a card unless he sends all the class one too incase someone’s feelings are hurt…mental!

Although I do have a blonde child who received a couple cards and gifts today so maybe I’m part of the problem 😂😂

FiveWhatByFiveWhat · 14/02/2025 20:16

Eviemai · 14/02/2025 19:48

Does anyone else think it’s odd that
A. The child who got the most is the daughter of the head teacher of the associated school
B. The only children to get anything were the only two blonde girls

There really needs to be an option to "react" to posts with an eye roll.

RaraRachael · 14/02/2025 20:13

It's rife at our school in the first 3 years. Kids coming to school laden down with gift bags, teddies etc

FiveWhatByFiveWhat · 14/02/2025 20:12

@Anonymouseky I agree your take!

FiveWhatByFiveWhat · 14/02/2025 20:09

Catza · 14/02/2025 16:46

This has always been a thing, as far as I am aware. We did "Valentine's post" at school (anonymous cards) and that was in the 90s.

Yeah I think I definitely remember kids doing valentine's stuff at primary, also 90s.

My son is also in reception, I know some took stuff in but it's kind of random - my son drew pictures for his 2 little friends (a boy and a girl) and I saw a couple of girls giving eachother stuff this morning. I wasn't at pick up though so not sure about kids coming out with stuff, but nothing has been mentioned particularly on the parent chat for the year group.

JMSA · 14/02/2025 20:07

Anonymouseky · 14/02/2025 20:06

I’m genuinely surprised at the reaction to this. I’m clearly in the minority here. This was a thing in my primary school (in the 80s). I never once got a card and I can honestly say it never bothered me. Neither did it bother me if no one offered to dance with me at the ‘slow’ dance at the school discos. I do think kids were more resilient then though. I have to agree with the previous poster who said we shouldn’t shield (or expect to shield) our children from every negative emotion. It’s no wonder so many people end up with mental health issues when everything is set up to shield them from anything slightly painful.

One of my sons (in primary school) took a card in for a girl in his class today. He didn’t come out with one in return. I had prepared him for this possibility beforehand and asked him if he still wanted to take one in. He did. He was simply happy to have made someone smile today.

I can understand a girl getting upset if every other girl had came out with gifts/ cards, but it was only two girls in this case. Surely it’s the same if someone wins a competition or gets a certificate. Not everyone can get one every time.

Thank God, some common sense!

Anonymouseky · 14/02/2025 20:06

I’m genuinely surprised at the reaction to this. I’m clearly in the minority here. This was a thing in my primary school (in the 80s). I never once got a card and I can honestly say it never bothered me. Neither did it bother me if no one offered to dance with me at the ‘slow’ dance at the school discos. I do think kids were more resilient then though. I have to agree with the previous poster who said we shouldn’t shield (or expect to shield) our children from every negative emotion. It’s no wonder so many people end up with mental health issues when everything is set up to shield them from anything slightly painful.

One of my sons (in primary school) took a card in for a girl in his class today. He didn’t come out with one in return. I had prepared him for this possibility beforehand and asked him if he still wanted to take one in. He did. He was simply happy to have made someone smile today.

I can understand a girl getting upset if every other girl had came out with gifts/ cards, but it was only two girls in this case. Surely it’s the same if someone wins a competition or gets a certificate. Not everyone can get one every time.

JMSA · 14/02/2025 20:06

It's really no big deal.

Also I feel it’s no coincidence that the two little blonde girls got gifts and no one else!

And really??

user3827 · 14/02/2025 20:02

mumofamudmagnet · 14/02/2025 19:02

Unpopular opinion warning!

As parents, we are raising kids to become adults. This constant need to protect our children's feelings, everyone's a winner, everyone should be included. No they don't! Not allowing them to experience any negative emotions and then teaching them how to manage this is creating a soft society of young adults, crippled by mental health issues because they were protected from all these negative feelings as children by parents who wrapped them in bubble wrap. If we don't teach them how to handle this feeling of rejection appropriately they will turn into adults who can't handle rejection.

Life as an adult is tough, and they will face many negative experiences and feelings of being left out. How on earth will they manage this if you've protected them from it their whole lives.

For the love of God, Please, teach your kids to not give a sh*t and to not rely on others for their happiness....and also how to handle rejection.

We're raising the future generation here people! And I'd rather my kids develop the emotional resilience to deal with this rather than fall to pieces every time they experienced something they didn't like.

Agree totally. You don't need to police their interactions but why would you get them to do it in the first place?! If your kid didn't get anything, then they need to grow a "so what " mentality

PonkyPonky · 14/02/2025 20:00

I was at primary in the 90’s and it was certainly a thing then. We made cards and gave small gifts to the boy/girl that we ‘fancied’. I think it’s harmless and sweet. I have fond memories of my year 2 ‘boyfriend’ giving me a box of heart shaped chocolates. Do we really have to take everyone’s joy away every time someone feels left out. Just teach your kid that next year they might have someone special to give and receive valentines with. It’s really not that deep

mathanxiety · 14/02/2025 19:59

Eviemai · 14/02/2025 19:48

Does anyone else think it’s odd that
A. The child who got the most is the daughter of the head teacher of the associated school
B. The only children to get anything were the only two blonde girls

I agree with your objections here, and your suspicions too.

They should either make the kids do a whole class Valentine card exchange (and make them stick to cards) or tell parents none of it is allowed.

mathanxiety · 14/02/2025 19:57

31stJune1973 · 14/02/2025 19:31

I'm in the UK but I remember a Simpson's episode about it, where Lisa gave the unpopular boy a card with a train on it saying "I choo choo choose you" so I assumed whole class valentines activities must be a thing in the USA.

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Yes, at least everywhere around here (US).

You give cards to everyone or no-one, is the rule.

Alifemoreordinary123 · 14/02/2025 19:56

Not a thing in my house but my 4 year old got a card from a girl in his class, and my daughter got a bunch of daffs when she was 5.

Biffbaff · 14/02/2025 19:55

It's creepy especially as the parents would have sent their boys in with this crap to give to the girls.

I'm not surprised it's the two blondes/teacher's kid but also focusing on the girls seems wrong, they are the objects of the weird creepy behaviour from the boys' parents, who are the ones who should attract the criticism here.

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 14/02/2025 19:52

@Nothitrockbottomyet

Were they American? I live in the US now and it's definitely a thing here. I got my kids stuff, they made me a card, and they handed out things to every child in the class.

Toddlerteaplease · 14/02/2025 19:50

caramac04 · 14/02/2025 16:44

I don’t think it’s sweet. I know of an 11 year old boy who planned to spend £35 on his ‘girlfriend’s’ choice of Pandora ring. Ludicrous.

🤮urgh, that is nauseating.