AIBU - vasectomy care packages

CherryMarigold · 14/02/2025 16:01

I shaved his balls for him, I feel that was enough!

NinnyNa · 14/02/2025 16:00

loopyb · 14/02/2025 11:01

My husband showed me a picture of a vasectomy care package his friend got indicating that he expected the same. It had lots of sweets and snacks with jokey puns.

I didn't receive any care packages when recovering from two c-sections. He must be completely off his rocker to think having a vasectomy would condone me making a care basket up for him like he's a hero??? AIBU??

My Dad got one of these in about 1996
Lots of plums and bananas and jokey things.

I remember it vividly!

Goatblu · 14/02/2025 15:59

I drove him to and from the appointment and made sure he had some suitability tight underwear clean.

It was the day I had awful period pain and flooding from the mirena coil we'd been using. I hated it so was pleased when he booked in for a vasectomy.

Ponderingwindow · 14/02/2025 15:53

My husband didn’t make me a care package after my C-section, but he did dote on me hand and foot. He took care of my every whim.

He got much less attention from me post vasectomy because I was busy with our child and it wasn’t as invasive, but I did what I could. I set him up with snacks, swapped his bags of frozen peas, and ran to the store when he decided one kind of snug briefs were far superior to the other options.

the snack basket isn’t really a gift for him, it’s to make your life easier. He isn’t supposed to walk around much, so if you hand him a basket of snacks he doesn’t need to call for help as often.

PensionConfusion24 · 14/02/2025 15:50

I think it's a bit different after a C-section because you've got a new baby to look after - for me that's all hands on deck time, I wouldn't have remotely appreciated a treat box, I'd have wanted 15 minutes to myself or an hour's lie in - basically for my other half to step up as a father.

On the other hand if I'd had minor day surgery I'd have appreciated it then! I'd say that's a closer equivalent.

Emptyflames · 14/02/2025 15:45

Mrsttcno1 · 14/02/2025 11:05

My husband has always agreed to having a vasectomy once we are done having babies and I would probably do it for him, but that’s because he absolutely went above and beyond for me during pregnancy, birth/recovery, and he is just really thoughtful when I’m unwell so I would return the favour in a heartbeat.

If I’d had 2 c sections and had nothing then I’d not be doing one though!

If I’d had 2 c sections and had nothing then I’d not be doing one though!

Yeah - this is the key point, "erm, I'm still waiting for my 2 care packages...."

RhaenysRocks · 14/02/2025 15:43

ManHereSorry · 14/02/2025 12:37

Did you not get several months maternity leave? Whereas I got my vasectomy done in my lunch hour and went back to work, my wife said nothing.

Show quote history

I'm assuming this is a wind up?

Original poster

loopyb · 14/02/2025 15:36

A very mixed bunch of replies , just to clarify we are both very good at taking care of each other when we're unwell, and I fully anticipate I will be serving up some painkillers and tea while he needs to rest!

However a big care basket of treats ('comical' or not) is a step too far for me - honestly, I don't want to encourage more convalescing than necessary while we have two tiny children to handle!!

OP posts:

ItGhoul · 14/02/2025 13:05

I'd always make a fuss of my partner after any kind of surgery or medical procedure - but he would do the same for me. I don't know if a 'care package' is really required but we'd definitely be fussing over each other!

Ihateslugs · 14/02/2025 12:40

I gave my husband a sanitary towel to go inside his boxers after his! With three children under the age of 4, he had to drive himself to the hospital and was back in work the next day. I was too busy to fuss around him!

ManHereSorry · 14/02/2025 12:37

loopyb · 14/02/2025 11:01

My husband showed me a picture of a vasectomy care package his friend got indicating that he expected the same. It had lots of sweets and snacks with jokey puns.

I didn't receive any care packages when recovering from two c-sections. He must be completely off his rocker to think having a vasectomy would condone me making a care basket up for him like he's a hero??? AIBU??

Did you not get several months maternity leave? Whereas I got my vasectomy done in my lunch hour and went back to work, my wife said nothing.

LittleRedRidingHoody · 14/02/2025 12:35

I find them hilarious when they pop up on Instagram. You don't have to do it, obviously - it's just a bit of a joke!

ObviouslyBlooming · 14/02/2025 12:34

61here · 14/02/2025 12:12

I think it's a lovely idea.......just cus you didn't get one first it's a bit spiteful not to do it now somethings been suggested to you. Maybe next time you're in hospital he will reciprocate then.....someone has to make the first move....

I think that doing something in the hope that one will (finally) reciprocate at a later date is naive.

ApolloandDaphne · 14/02/2025 12:32

I left my DH and fruit arrangement after he had his. It was a banana and two plums. He laughed then ate them!

ThinWomansBrain · 14/02/2025 12:29

suggest that you'll arrange a "care package" if he goes for penis removal instead.

he sounds a complete knob

Emptyandsad · 14/02/2025 12:24

It's nice to do stuff for each other but having a vasectomy isn't in the same league as a c-section or a hysterectomy. It's usually a pretty painless operation with a short and easy recovery time. No major muscles/nerves/ligaments are cut through, it's barely invasive. I've had one and it was utterly simple (and I speak as a certified wimp).

But don't be transactional in your relationship. Do it or don't, depending on whether you want to, not because he did it (or didnt) for you

61here · 14/02/2025 12:12

I think it's a lovely idea.......just cus you didn't get one first it's a bit spiteful not to do it now somethings been suggested to you. Maybe next time you're in hospital he will reciprocate then.....someone has to make the first move....

JustinOtherdad · 14/02/2025 11:51

Tell him it'll be two housebricks and a bag of frozen peas!

neilyoungismyhero · 14/02/2025 11:34

It's a funny little joke dear god

ObviouslyBlooming · 14/02/2025 11:31

NoKnit · 14/02/2025 11:17

Haha best laugh I've had all morning.

I got naff all after my hysterectomy but I didn't expect it and fair play he did great job looking after the house and kids

You mean your dh acted like a father to his dcs?

ObviouslyBlooming · 14/02/2025 11:30

Tiswa · 14/02/2025 11:10

I would for mine bexause he stepped up for me - the fact he didn’t when you had two c sections but expects it from you is your issue

The point is - he didn’t.

He didn’t think having abdominal surgery was worth a little care package. So why does he think his minor surgery procedure - in and out, not even day surgery - warrants a care package?

Either he is highly hypocritical or he has this wrapped idea that HIS discomfort is important (and look at what I’m doing for you etc… as if a vasectomy wasn’t as important to him than his DP), much more important than the OP’s (whose CS aren’t that bad are they? She was looking after a baby and a child just after the second one anyway …)

There is so much to unpack behind those comments and expectations…..

Hankunamatata · 14/02/2025 11:27

I not u

Hankunamatata · 14/02/2025 11:26

U brought dh a cuppa and a scone in coffee shop afterwards then he drove home. He didn't think it was a big deal.

glassof · 14/02/2025 11:25

I got my dh something similar. He was amazing after I had our dc and is a great partner/dad.
After all three dc He bought me flowers, treats etc and then waited on me!

KrisAkabusi · 14/02/2025 11:18

You have no sense of humour.