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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that sick time triggers are overly anxiety inducing and unreasonable?

40 replies

Agix · 14/02/2025 07:49

Ive written here before about my personal rule where I only take sick time off work if my symptoms mean I cannot do my job. I have chronic illness, so frequently feel rather rubbish and unrested when working, but am able to do it so I do it. I work from home which helps.

However, I was off last week after a bad night turned into a migraine. Migraines not usual for me, painkillers not touching it. I could not focus and do my work, so day off it was. I don't have the kind of job where I can zone out / pretend to work /only answer emails etc.

Then a few days ago I developed a stomach bug - perhaps something I ate. Actually perfectly workable at first, just kept needing to rush to the loo and not too much discomfort, so have been working (again, from home! Don't worry!) but then last night it ramped up to 11. It continues. Hopefully it's in its death throes, darkest before the dawn sort of thing. I also tried to eat more than a cracker at dinner which was stupid of me really, the pain persists. But I absolutely cannot work with this. I feel like an alien has laid eggs in my stomach. (have called NHS 111, obviously can't do much about tummy bug except wait and see).

Have notified work, who actually are the coolest, but they have sick triggers of needing a meeting if you have 4 instances within a year. I've just had 2 within 2 weeks!

I get the purpose of sickness triggers, and employers also don't want people taking the micky, but surely people can't help being too unwell to work? You can't really limit sickness? It either happens or it doesn't, unless you're purposely licking sick people or something (I haven't).

If you're an employer or manager, how do you handle sick time and triggers? Do you find them useful or a bit weird?

Miserable. The answers are probably gonna make me feel worse 🤣

YANBU - Sick triggers are indeed a bit weird, people can't control when they are sick

YABU - Sick time triggers are useful and accurate because (reason)

P.S please forgive if I don't return to the thread. I intend to, but depends on how alien baby situation develops.

OP posts:
Carriemac · 14/02/2025 08:13

As a manager of a new team of 5 who's sickness had not been managed effectively, three months into job I had one team member being supported by occy heath for her depression and one team member being supported for her DV home situation. All discovered during sickness trigger meetings.

Autther · 14/02/2025 08:12

What would suggest then? I agree sickness happens and we can't do much about it, but some people seem to be sick extremely often and should businesses just continue to pay for that, impact on the team etc etc. there has to be some measure in place for an employer to decide it is not worth employing you any longer

UnexpectedCost · 14/02/2025 08:12

It’s impossible to get it right. I work in the NHS and have seen some people take the piss. They are often also the ones who take out multiple grievances and accuse others of bullying etc when they are the bullies. A toxic and lazy few make it worse for the rest of us.

madamweb · 14/02/2025 08:12

Iwontlethtesungodownonme · 14/02/2025 08:11

As you have a chronic illness would your employer look at setting different trigger points for you?

They should be, or they should take a soft approach when you hit them, because they should be mindful of their duties under the Equality Act

madamweb · 14/02/2025 08:11

Just because you hit the triggers doesn't mean work are going to take any action.
I hit a trigger point within the first 6 months of a new job but they knew I was immune suppressed and they haven't even commented, other than to tell me to take the time I need to get better

Iwontlethtesungodownonme · 14/02/2025 08:11

As you have a chronic illness would your employer look at setting different trigger points for you?

Original poster
Agix · 14/02/2025 08:09

LittleRedRidingHoody · 14/02/2025 08:01

The thing is, without the triggers people would call in sick more often. There will always be people it effects as a fluke, who are genuinely ill that often. But without triggers there are quite a few people who would just start using it as extra, paid time off. I didn't use to believe this but since working as a manager and hearing some absolutely absurd excuses, my faith in people has diminished!

Sadly I can't disagree. Never been a manager but have certainly known people who wouldn't mind actually taking the micky.

But how do you know which is which as a manager? And what about the impact on employees who happen to be sickly/just had some bad bloody luck in a particular year?

I remember an exes family member getting pulled into disciplinary for sickness triggers, she was super distressed at the time. She'd just been feeling very unwell, which was distressing itself without work treating her like a criminal.

Very sadly, not long after, got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and passed within a few months. It just seemed so cruel that her work were so accusatory before the diagnosis.

OP posts:
HeadNorth · 14/02/2025 08:08

The number of time I see someone post on Mumsnet 'take a sick day' when a poster is a bit tired, upset or has had a row with someone. Obviously there needs to be some sort of control, or people will just wake up feeling a bit shit (don't we all in February) and decide to 'take a sick day'.

Finallybackinbootcuts · 14/02/2025 08:07

I think you are being unreasonable. Those triggers are there to deter people from throwing sickies let’s be honest.
Surely of you have a chronic illness then this can be taken into account? Could you speak to your GP and get evidence to show them?

PurpleThistle7 · 14/02/2025 08:06

As a manager I find it helpful as I have a lot of people to keep track of and sometimes I don't notice when someone has a regular issue. All the meetings I have are in the frame of making sure I am doing all I can to support and they have access to support or care or maybe occupational health can help etc etc.

ChampagneSuperNova00 · 14/02/2025 08:06

I think they are anxiety inducing and unfair. Most people are genuinely ill when they take time off but obviously there are some that take the mickey.

It feels like they are put in place because employers feel that the majority are making it up not the other way round!

Original poster
Agix · 14/02/2025 08:03

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 14/02/2025 07:55

YABU - Sick time triggers are useful and accurate because sometimes people aren't sick but have other problems going on in their lives. They say they're sick because they don't know what else to do. These meetings can be a way to get more appropriate help.

Having said that, you do need good management for that to work.

I actually thought this just after posting, that it's useful for it to be picked up on incase there is something else going on that the employee doesn't know how to communicate . Maybe even a workplace issue like bullying, or stress etc.

OP posts:
LittleRedRidingHoody · 14/02/2025 08:01

The thing is, without the triggers people would call in sick more often. There will always be people it effects as a fluke, who are genuinely ill that often. But without triggers there are quite a few people who would just start using it as extra, paid time off. I didn't use to believe this but since working as a manager and hearing some absolutely absurd excuses, my faith in people has diminished!

GreenYellowBrown · 14/02/2025 07:58

Yes, it makes me anxious. I’ve got a reasonable adjustment in place so have higher triggers in place which helps. However, I still managed to get to a stage two warning in the NHS for sickness as I had so much time off 😮

Trouble is, I’ve got epilepsy and have two types of seizures. The absence
ones, I just go to work fine afterwards. With the tonic clonic ones, sometimes I’m badly injured (black eye/split lip/concussion/broken hand/fractured skull). I was going through a particularly bad spell about 9 years ago and my boss wasn’t sympathetic at all so the Union got involved and managed to finally make them see sense, especially after I said that I couldn’t be in work as I was in intensive care following 9 seizures 🙄 🙄

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 14/02/2025 07:55

YABU - Sick time triggers are useful and accurate because sometimes people aren't sick but have other problems going on in their lives. They say they're sick because they don't know what else to do. These meetings can be a way to get more appropriate help.

Having said that, you do need good management for that to work.