To report what a comedian said to me 6 years ago

Indeed👊

I don't know whether it's worth complaining to the hotel, but it sounds like you work for a really shit company if they thought that sort of comedy was appropriate for a works do. If I had been there as your colleague, I would have walked out with you. The fact that this happened and no one supported you shows you who they are, and I'd be looking for a new job if I were you.

I'm surprised that so many here don't seem to understand how utterly soul destroying an incident like that can be. The worst of it is that it shows that misogyny / objectification of women is still ingrained and deemed acceptable in our society. If someone were targeted for any other protected characteristic there would have been an outcry.

How? She's anonymous. Also there were a lot of witnesses - if it did come to that

The incels seem to be out today.

You have my total sympathy, OP - he sounds like a pos, for sure.

But being realistic, after this time-gap, I honestly doubt you'll achieve much except the humiliation of having to explain, relive and justify (to some stupid people, most likely) your concerns.

If he was famous - you might get more traction. But if he's just a small-town idiot, no-one will care enough to listen.

I'm sorry - I absolutely am not minimising it - I just think it will be a thankless and fruitless task when aimed at a local moron.

It was 6 years ago.. just try to move on

Oh come on. If you don't enjoy the style of comedy that's one thing but no one should be expected to put up with the kind of thing the OP experienced. How can being objectified in front of a room full of people be compared with watching a TV show at home?

Also it's not the employers job to prevent harassment in this situation, although it might be expected that they would be supportive if it happened. It's solely up to the comedian to avoid sexual harassment. It's not that difficult surely. If he wants to do this kind of thing he needs to put a stooge in the audience.

This is absolute bullshit. Making sexual jokes about people's appearance is considered very low brow in comedy. Noone does this anymore. It is vile and disgusting. I watch a lot of stand up and proper comedians do not stoop to this level. The man is an amateur and has to resort to cheap jokes to get a laugh. Probably has the IQ of a tadpole.

Substitute another characteristic in there and see if the comedian would comment on that person's characteristics?

I don't understand why comedians do this - and people laugh - which is another thing I don't get.

This was six years ago. SIX. How exactly do you think times have changed in six years? You’re talking about this as if it happened in the 1970s. I’m pretty sure 2019 was considered to be enlightened times. How have times magically changed since 2019? You have decided that it was ‘embarrassing’ for the OP. Embarrassment might cause a wave of discomfort upon remembering a particular incident. But this is much more. How about shame? Humiliation? Trauma? I think it is disgraceful to minimise the OP’s experience by writing it off as merely embarrassing. Maybe you would have been embarrassed, but it was much more to her.

Does he have an agent? Remind them of the number of men whose behaviour has led to them being quietly dropped, cancelled etc because being associated with them has become problematic.

See if he's still working at the venue. Give them an account of what happened.

See if there's any way you can leave reviews like you can for a builder or airb&B.

He may be a member of Equity, the performers union. You could send them account saying you don't know if he's a member, but you felt they should know in case he is - or applies to join. They take safety etc seriously.

I would be saying do this and do that if it was 6hrs ago .

It was 6 years ago .
The crazy world we live in changes monthly , yearly .

Someone advised writing to him and I think this is a good idea. I would also send the same letter to the hotel. I often read things where someone (often teachers) have said something positive or negative that has stayed with them for years - words and actions are powerful. You may find it cathartic to get it written down - rather than holding on to it all these years. I think you may feel better for that.
He may feel bad - he may not care . It is about if it helps you.

6 years, the OP said. Reading comprehension really is terrible! Do you understand there's a long time between 2019 and 1995 or 1975?

I haven't told her to do anything that would cause her damage or harm either. Looks like I touched a nerve with you though if you felt the need to respond to my comment. If women just brush these things off and don't support women who are genuinely traumatized by sexual harassment then it's a poor show on all of us. Misogyny is alive and well on Mumsnet just like anywhere else. Women are always dismissed and everything is just a 'bad joke' don't take it too seriously etc etc. It's not, it is misogyny, sexual harassment and it's a power thing. They want to make you uncomfortable and make you squirm. Putrid little man he is. The fact that OP''s colleagues didn't back her up goes to show how entrenched these attitudes are in our society. I stand with you OP, do whatever you need to do to feel better about a horrible situation you were put in.

Telling crude jokes is one thing. Targeting a random person in the audience and humiliating them in a predatory way is not ok. I would definitely be complaining. It's disgusting.

Where did i say that

From your post:

i don’t agree with dragging up all the stuff from years ago because we lived in a different world then. .6. 12,20, 26,32 years ago
What was seen as acceptable then is not now
Yes you should / could have complained at the time. You didn’t and it’s been 6 years

The only reason Saville and his ilk were uncovered was precisely because women spoke up about experiences years before. Saville's actions were not legal when he abused young girls - he got away with it for years precisely because the girls were afraid, isolated and knew they wouldn't be believed.

The whole #MeToo movement was women jointly speaking up where they had felt unable to - not least because of people say to us "it isn't worth it, it doesn't matter, you won't be believed, it was ok when they did it".

This performer's behaviour certainly wasn't acceptable six years ago (or 30). The OP's employer had a duty of care to her at the time this happened.

But yes, lets tell women their experiences don't matter and they should just shut up because they were too humiliated, embarrased or scared to raise it immediately.

Honestly a slug couldn't limbo under the standards bar for men on this site at times.

He is vile and I certainly would feedback to the hotel how offensive he was and how upset you were by his routine, and post a stinker of a review on TripAdvisor.

I don't think you have over reacted OP, his behaviour is terrible and I believe it needs to be reported. No hesitation. I would be very upset too

I hope that comedian gets shat on by an elephant, unfunny plank he sounds.

My pals and I were out one Sunday afternoon and a singer changed the line from the song I love rock n roll to “so can I take you home/so she can suck my bone”. And pointed at me which got some laughs, unfortunately for him I was 16, highly unhinged and just started screaming at him he was older than my grandad (he absolutely wasn’t I was just really drunk) and he was deffo in Gary glitters gang. I was removed by a bouncer and my friends were furious with me because we’d gotten in without ID. It was roughly 20 years ago and still gets mentioned the time I got us thrown out of one of the worst dive pubs on the face of the earth for calling the pub singer a nonce.

You haven't over reacted and the way some commenters have framed their replies is really unhelpful. He is clearly a disgusting gross pig. God knows what he does to women behind closed doors. You have opened up about it and should be supported by women. You could certainly write to the hotel and let them know this happened. Aside from the fact he sounds ridiculously unfunny, this type of joke won't wash with younger audiences and their business will fizzle out. Glad you have a supportive partner.

"Back then" was 2019 if you read the OP's post. Not 1973.

Where did i say that .
He was a groomer and pedophile. I used sexual abuse as an example .

I could write a list of what I think of the man and what he did to OP but, it was words and embarrassing .
Surely he has to have changed his “material “ ? He wouldn’t /shouldn't get away with that now as I have said times have changed .

We can’t go around charging everyone for hitting kids or pupils from 30/50 years ago as it was legal and seen as acceptable then .
I think the same applies in this situation .

Yes complain at the time but not now .
If it happened now then it would be voicing differently.

OP, I think the best bet is to put up a review on the hotel website calling out this so-called comedian for his misogynistic crudity, and if you can find an account for him on social media, do the same - attack him for the fact that belittling someone’s appearance is not funny, it’s just cruel. I don’t think there’s anything else you can do, certainly not after six years - and no matter what he said, what he did wasn’t actually illegal. I would be far more upset than none of my work colleagues had my back. Commiserations - it was horrid, but you need to leave it in the past.

I’m not sure you’d get anywhere with it because it’s just words but I understand why you were and still are upset about it. You could look at therapy to move past it? People can be horrible 💐