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Original poster

To report what a comedian said to me 6 years ago

388 replies

Redspottyfrog · 14/02/2025 04:40

Was at a works do at a hotel in a certain north west town, very famous for entertainment and shows and such, and they had a guy on telling jokes and introducing various forms of entertainment.
He was not funny at all and was being very crude (I am not a prude but that way he was doing it was just yuck)

anyway he catches sight of me and yells “omg look at the size of those knockers, they are huge” everyone laughs while I die a little inside.
he then proceeds to get 3 blokes up on stage to “check me out”. These blokes are looking me up and down like I am a piece of meat.

The guy then asked me to stand up and jump up and down so they bounce so the men can have a really good luck. At this stage I get up and walk out and the guy is shouting what a prude I am and for goodness sake love it was only a laugh.

I am in tears at this stage and go back to my room in the hotel. I phone my husband who insists on coming to get me even though it was a two hour drive. None of my colleagues came to check on me. When husband gets there I am waiting for him and he tries to insist he goes into the hotel and demands to speak to someone but I get in that much of a state he just gives me a hug and takes me home.

the worst thing is I did not do anything, I did not complain I just wanted to put it behind me. Also my colleagues really took the piss and I ended up leaving (luckily it was a job I was only doing a few hours at to make some extra money)

the reason it is playing on my mind is all these allegations coming out about certain male celebs. I am awake now thinking about it. I know this guy is not a celeb but he actually still works at this hotel and does the Christmas cabaret shows so he has no doubt done this to other women. I have always been angry at myself for not doing anything and a still have the odd nightmare about it. Do I make a complaint now or just accept it’s too late and in the past

OP posts:
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PyongyangKipperbang · 15/02/2025 23:57

Redspottyfrog · 14/02/2025 05:20

I would not contact the police it would be the hotel. It’s ok I won’t bother I obviously overreacted. Maybe I should have even been flattered.

Sadly a certain type of person finds this shit hilarious. There is a reason why Chubby Brown et al have a following.

Realistically there is nothing you can do. Complaining to to hotel wont do anything as they clearly get their custom from the neanderthals that think its funny. You have left the job so dont have to deal with those aresholes again.

What you DO have is a loving husband who came for you when you needed him. Think on that when it upsets you.

They have nothing but tit and knob gags. You have your intelligence, self worth, pride and a partner that loves you.

ETA does this "comedian" have a social media following? worth posting on Twix etc if he does.

Iceboy80 · 15/02/2025 22:53

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niadainud · 15/02/2025 22:48

LillyPJ · 14/02/2025 05:31

It sounds like he was the sort of 'comedian' who told those sort of 'jokes'. There were several of them around back then, unfortunately. Most of the audience would be expecting it so I don't think complaining about it would help.

Back then? It wasn't 1973!

That "comedian" sounds like a disgusting sleeze and utterly unfunny.

PleaseStopEatingMyStuff · 15/02/2025 22:31

At the time absolutely. But I'd be concerned he'd laugh at you still being upset 6 years on if confronted. Or worse use it as a story in his crappy act!
You have a lovely husband & hopefully much nicer colleagues. I'd put it behind you and move forward.

FlipFlopVibe · 15/02/2025 22:01

I know you said you wouldn’t contact the police but so many have said it’s not a sexual offence so police wouldn’t care. Some police forces record misogyny as a hate crime already, something like wolf whistling can be recorded so this would amount to it however it was 6 years ago and this was a more recent change. Sect 4a public order, causing intentional harassment, alarm or distress could fit also.
Regardless of the criminal aspect, you were right to feel very annoyed and still think about it. I would still send something to him/his agent/the hotel to get it off your chest (sorry no pun intended!!). It’s eating away at you and you need to make peace with it and come out the better person.

Noodles1234 · 15/02/2025 21:47

Yes I blooming would, even if no proof I don’t care! I am so sorry that’s humiliating on a personal level. I am shocked that someone would actually 1) do this and 2) think on some level it was funny.

some comedians warn they’re offensive, even then I have been utterly shocked by one and I have walked out of some places, although none were on a personal level just their lack of humour intelligence.

I would say I have a broad sense of humour but nothing around this level of depravity.

I’m glad you’ve found a kinder tide.

CallMeFlo · 15/02/2025 21:37

LovelySunnyDayToday · 15/02/2025 21:28

You could write a complaint about him on his social media if he has any? If you want people to know how you feel about this.

I think that'd be a really bad idea. Presumably if people are following him on SM they're fans. They'll know what his act is like.

The OP would probably get nothing but negative responses & abuse. I think that would do far more harm than good

Irridescantshimmmer · 15/02/2025 21:32

Yeah, put a complaint in writing, tell them what you said in your post also include details about the impact, the toll taken on your MH.

The way you were treated was pretty appalling to be honest and you are right to complain, as the more people who do may mean the hotel stop hiring the pathetic excuse for a comedian and maybe find one who is a hell of a lot funnier tha numb nuts.

Also, search for him online and see if there are an feedback sites and go hell for leather with feedback until he wishes the ground swallows him up.

LovelySunnyDayToday · 15/02/2025 21:28

You could write a complaint about him on his social media if he has any? If you want people to know how you feel about this.

MrsChumleyWarner · 15/02/2025 21:27

Redspottyfrog · 14/02/2025 05:20

I would not contact the police it would be the hotel. It’s ok I won’t bother I obviously overreacted. Maybe I should have even been flattered.

Flattered? Why? He insulted, ridiculed and objectified you. Maybe leave a bad review... went to see this 'comedian' X number of years ago found him offensive and crude haven't wasted my time or money going to see him again!

Leave review and don't go back to read any reactions to your comment.

Things like this can eat away at you. He's an offensive little toad x

LovelySunnyDayToday · 15/02/2025 21:26

You didn't overreact.
Well done for leaving op.

ChellyT · 15/02/2025 21:24

FoxtonFoxton · 15/02/2025 19:57

I had very, very similar at a work conference evening event some years ago weirdly! Wonder if it was the same guy -I can't remember who it was, but he was shit and boring as well as crude. To me, it wasn't about tits but about making me stand up and twirl for the men (in a more crude way but I can't remember what he said to be honest). I obviously didn't do it and just sat there not laughing (like the majority of the audience to be honest). I was comforted by the fact that his crap act was much more embarrassing than what he said to me! Personally, I'd put it in the past and move on. He's a sad twat with crap jokes, you have nice tits and a great husband.

Your last line sums it up just beautifully!

He's a sad twat with crap jokes, you have nice tits and a great husband!

ChellyT · 15/02/2025 21:21

Redspottyfrog · 14/02/2025 04:53

No proof. It’s not worth it is it. Just looked at the reviews of the hotel and it seems most people find this guy hilarious so would not get anywhere.

Could you do a quick review yourself, stating how the only way they get laughs is to punch down at/on others and that you found it quite vulgar and the mentality of those who thought it was funny too was quite telling... You never know your one review might enable others who were also the butt of their jokes and/or left very embarrassed to also leave a not so favourable review.

MakeYourOwnMusicStartYourOwnDance · 15/02/2025 21:17

45% of people who responded to the poll think you are being unreasonable to be upset by sexual harassment. Sigh

No, I don't think she's unreasonable to be upset, it sounds like a horrible experience.
I just think what would you be reporting if you went to the police?
Dickheads shouting out rude remarks isn't a crime.

Funnywonder · 15/02/2025 21:11

PetuniaT · 15/02/2025 20:34

...and this is what the snowflake, cancel culture breeds. Id much rather live back then than now

What? What does it breed?

PS Are you a man?

MakeYourOwnMusicStartYourOwnDance · 15/02/2025 21:10

DistanceCall · 14/02/2025 05:00

Report what? That he was rude and crude? That's not sexual assault. It's not a crime.

This.

lovemetomybones · 15/02/2025 21:05

You didn't over react, that situation was horrendous and intimidating and in front of colleagues too. I would complain to the hotel. Give a full account of the incident, then it's their call what happens next. At the very least he will be warned about his behaviour. You never know, there might be others who have complained and it builds a stronger case.

I would also say in your email that sexism reflects badly on their business, and by employing him they are endorsing a culture of sexism and discrimination against women.

It's not flattery, it's not a harmless joke it's supporting a culture of sexism which in worse case scenarios can endanger women.

I'm so sorry you have had to deal with this x

TitsInAbsentia · 15/02/2025 21:05

Was it the c l a r e m o n t by any chance?

GG1986 · 15/02/2025 20:57

He's a twat, but I personally would move on and forget about it.

Dogsbreath7 · 15/02/2025 20:51

Put an online review up with an outline of what he did- make it third person if you want. At least you have forewarned women in the audience.

Shanda5 · 15/02/2025 20:45

Horrid experience but no crime has been committed. Would you report every cat call from a group of men?

Hmm1234 · 15/02/2025 20:39

Someone must of recorded it?!

PetuniaT · 15/02/2025 20:34

...and this is what the snowflake, cancel culture breeds. Id much rather live back then than now

ChateauMargaux · 15/02/2025 20:14

I think you should write to the hotel...
You can say you are not expecting the hotel make any gestures to you, in any way, but think that it is important that they and the comedian understand the impact his act had on you and the potential impact it has on many other women, who feel unable to share how it makes them feel... that women's bodies are not simply there to be used for the amusement and gratification of men and that we need to change the narrative about how men see women. He and the hotel should feel ashamed of how they treat women rather than women feel shame for their experiences - in the words of Giselle Pelicot - it is time for shame to change sides.

JMSA · 15/02/2025 20:14

Yuck, what a horrible creep Flowers