To report what a comedian said to me 6 years ago

“Sexual harassment is any unwanted sexual behaviour that makes someone feel upset, scared, offended or humiliated, or is meant to make them feel that way.”

Victims and survivors of sexual harassment are often told that they are being 'unreasonable’ or 'too sensitive', or that they ‘can’t take a joke’.

@Redspottyfrog

This. He's definitely an arsehole but to waste police time reporting this is ridiculous.

Shout them out on here, give us the name of the hotel so we can all avoid it.
Scum - folks like this, they need calling out.

Leave a review on google and trip advisor detailing how he behaved.
The hotel WILL see this and it most are often compelled by their head office to directly respond.
I think this will have the greatest chance of affecting change, and getting you an apology.

If it bothered you so much, you should have opened your mouth then. Not now. Let the bandwagon pass eh?

That was blatant sexual harassment and you aren't over reacting at all, what a horrible experience. It doesn't get better a few years later does it, still plays on your mind. For your wellbeing it might help to speak to someone about it in terms of a therapist, organisation with appropriate expertise to help you process and validate your feelings.

As it was a work do you could have reported it to your employer at the time.

I don’t think you’re overreacting, for something to be still troubling you six years later it clearly upset you deeply. Sadly, as others have said there’s probably not much that can be done this far down the line. Perhaps link his agent to this thread or the “ comedian” themselves, I’d probably use a new anonymously named email address. I’m far from a prude but it’s surprising that this shit is still going on, I thought it had been cancelled, this sort of “humour” is as funny as haemorrhoids!

The incident sounds horrible @Redspottyfrog

The guy may call himself a comedian but he’s obviously still working at this hotel because he’s mediocre at best.
Talking about knockers to get a laugh proves he’s not very good at his job.
And drunk people will laugh at anything.

No. You didn’t over react. Thats hideous. I would write to the hotel. I would also put it on a review. I’d be tempted to see if he had a website himself. What a twat. Utter contemptible twat. I’m sorry you went through that.

You haven't overreacted at all. Not in the slightest. I definitely think you should talk this over with a professional. And decide how you will move forward, whether that's a complaint or simply something you do for yourself, in a way that will give you closure. You're entitled to respond after such appalling behaviour - how long ago is irrelevant. I wish I could go back 30 years and put a few men straight.

She'll have to be careful though, even though he was obviously a pig and she has every right to be upset, can she prove it? She'll have to be very sure she is not crossing into an area where they can take legal action for libel and defamation.

Sorry just seen it was six years ago, I’m afraid as everyone is saying, there is little you can do, I am sorry it happened and has had such a major impact on you.

I think pp suggestion of a trip advisor review would be the one most likely to provide any level of fairness in this situation.
Make sure you sense check how you write it though so it comes across that you are dignified and he is a shitty bully.

You didnt overreact but equally theres nothing to report to anyone

Its like if you're in a supermarket and someone is really rude to you, its not a crime

If you're saying he is the hotel comedian still and he's hired to give good entertainment, you could flag it with the hotel but given this is how he is I would imagine he isnt hired there anymore and/or other people have complained

Lots of posts are saying that OP’s workplace booked the comedian but he works at the hotel.

No need to think this, no one is saying you should have been flattered. It was objectively ghastly.
But you wanted opinion if it was worth reporting and without bringing emotion into it some people think that it is likely to go nowhere or achieve anything.
What he did was very grim and disgusting.

I’d do nothing and move on with life.

I would be inclined to write to the hotel if it will make you feel better. As long as it won’t upset you even more if you get a less than helpful response, or none.

I actually would write clearly and firmly to the people who have been suggested. Times have moved on a little. And that sort of behaviour is seen as more shocking. Just write (in the hope this foul man gets a few fewer bookings). You could find out who his agent is and tell them you have done so and that the story is on a public forum now and that the dots will be joined by others.

And as far as proof - well it was seen by the rest of the audience so I wouldnt worry about steaming ahead with your letters.

Honestly he sounds like a bad 1970s 'comedian' and not fit for today's stage. Just a nasty misogynist bully.

@Redspottyfrog

No you are not overreacting at all.

If he did this to you, he does this to others.

I firmly believe that women should not feel like they should ‘keep quiet and be a good girl’ over male behaviour that is abusive.

If that happened on the street, in the office, in a park, in a school it needs reporting. Just because it is a hotel/comedian makes no difference.

Yes report it, even if it happened 6 years ago - I’ve no doubt it’s a piece to a bigger jigsaw.

You should leave a review for the hotel and mention this publicly.

This was hugely inappropriate.

Oh OP, you did not overreact and please don't shame yourself for not complaining at the time. You were unsupported by colleagues but you still had the guts to stand up and walk out. It was vile and bullying behaviour, I am not surprised it still plays on your mind. I would have been very upset too.
Personally, I would write a letter of complaint to the hotel, and to your former employer - I do not think it is an appropriate act for a work setting, nor for your former colleagues to use it to humilitate you at work afterwards. They may be unaware of how it has impacted you - and you will not have been the only woman this has happened to over the years. You do not even have to send the letters, but writing it down might help you process some of it.
It was a mean and violating thing that happened to you, and I hope you can give yourself the self-compassion to not blame yourself for how you responded or didn't respond 💐

I used to work on the comedy circuit many moons ago. One comedian in particular was always vile with women and would single one out a night to humiliate and the audience used to roar with laughter like the clapping seals they sometimes are.
On the few occasions I had to speak with him at any length his views were misogynistic and angry towards women. I did speak to management at the time about it albeit in a casual conversation. They thought he was great he was very popular etc and shut me down.
He used to upload videos on his youtube channel of him humiliating 'hecklers' always women. Always with him being really nasty and personal.

He wasn't some rancid old timer he was a young bloke and I can remember wondering why he hated women so much. Other comedians on the circuit were well aware of what he was like.
He ended up raping a woman and went to prison for it thankfully.
I shudder to think of how shit he made women feel when he would launch his 'humour' on them and I hated watching women squirm in discomfort all in the name of comedy.
YANBU to feel like this OP. Leave a review.

You didn’t over react, the comic is an idiot, but I do think you’ve got to put it behind you and not let that poor excuse of a man blight your life any more. You’re worth more than that and he isn’t.

This is disgusting behaviour from him and so inappropriate. I don’t know how anyone would find that “hilarious” either. I think it is worth complaining as it may prevent this sort of incident from happening again to someone else.