To report what a comedian said to me 6 years ago

I get that you’re upset, I’ve had similar experiences in the past but have to admit not in front of an audience, it must’ve really been awful. I confess it’s unusual these days as it’s deemed as sexual harassment, and it is!
Hind sight is a wonderful thing because if you had said…
”Yes it’s difficult to keep them out of sight, unlike your cock which is hidden away because the word on the street is you’re lacking in size. So if you get your dick out on stage and prove me wrong, I’ll play your stupid game by jumping up and down… oh, YOU don’t want to play the sexual harassment game? No I didn’t think you would”.
I’m sure he wouldn’t have liked his manhood being the topic.
I went to a comedy act a couple of years ago, it’s was all shouting, foul language and vulgarity. There wasn’t anything I could call a joke. I’m no prude but I didn’t find any of it amusing and nor did the majority of the audience, the silence was cringeworthy. I wouldn’t waste my money on so called comedy shows now.
Tbh I would write to the hotel, putting it in words for them to read might hit home. If it’s a hotel with a Chief Executive I would also write to them, go to the top, they need to know. It appears it was all part of the act, and if it’s still part of the act it needs removing because sexual harassment is against the law, and bullying and sexual harassment is never funny.

Yes it is true.
we will have to agree to disagree.

No no no no no no no no. You didn’t over-react and should not have felt flattered, that’s what creeps like that tell themselves and want us to believe. I agree with others that there is little point in reporting it now but that doesn’t mean it was ok.

Don’t ever think you should have joined in or that you were to sensitive.
it made you feel uncomfortable and your work colleagues carried on afterwards.
Your husband was not happy about how you had been treated and that you were disrespected.
its not normal and the people telling you to let it go etc might want to think what if you were their daughter and it happened!
I would maybe email if you can’t face ringing the hotel , just explain how you felt and mention that also the reviews are positive that maybe they could put a trigger warning or comedy with a theme of sexual innuendo.
Everyone should have the right to be able to address those kind of things no matter how much time has gone by.
As women we should build each other up and support when someone makes themselves vulnerable and shares , that way we pass it on to our younger generation that speaking up is ok and not something we should endure and keep inside!

a good bit of info comes up if you put in sexist comedian Blackpool. Over the years it seems some have left bad reviews and the hotel does not seem to have responded .I hope Op gets a response but sadly they must do well booking him as no doubt the bar takings are high on comedy nights.

Not true. That type of jokes are ok if they don't involve a human on stage whose body is beeing laughed at and ridiculed. That is abuse.

I would do an online Google review for the hotel, explaining what happened / how bad the incident made you feel. Might be best not to name the comedian directly, just say an entertainer employed at the hotel.

X

Could be proof if someone filmed the gig.
If the person is still in the public eye then I guess you could tell the police. I'm just not sure how far it'll go, and it could be distressing for you.

Wow, can’t believe you’ve been driven to this. Flattered?? This demeaning and blatant sexism is an emotional assault and you’re still suffering from it now. This aggressive man needs outing as soon as possible. Your colleagues were also vile, as was everyone who colluded with this damaging attack on your body and your emotional wellbeing. The hotel should be made aware of how you feel, as should he. Your husband sounds cool, thank goodness. Some women wouldn’t have this support after what was a traumatic experience, the ‘comedian’ is psychologically damaging. Creep.

I just wanted to say I understand how this has preyed on your mind. I was at the Comedy Club in London with some friends in the 90s. Another woman, not in our party, whispered sth to her friend, and the guy on stage went completely ballistic at her. It was totally uncalled for, really abusive. I was appalled but no one said anything and neither did I and I have thought about it a lot since.

Then I was in the Comedy Club in Clapham and the comedian really laid into a woman about her roots showing - she was sitting just below the stage. It went on and on and on and in the end someone backstage made a "cut it" gesture to the guy. He apologised to her and they gave her a bottle of wine.

I got fed up going to Comedy clubs because of the mysogeny. The Sunday Times had a big article about the industry last weekend. One comedian's ex wife tried to write a book about his exploits and he took out a court order.

Anyway, your experience is not untypical and it is all starting to come out xx

I'm really pleased that you came back and saw how many posters were behind you doing this. This was absolutely the right course of action. It is always worth calling misogyny and sexism out and making it clear it's not acceptable in ANY way, even dressed up as (low brow/unintelligent) comedy. I love stand up and this is not just par of the course and something that should be tolerated.

I hope this has helped you feel more at peace.

We've moved on and hopefully he's not behaving the same way.

It was 2019, not the bloody Dark Ages. We had already moved on by then. Supposedly.

I am really pleased you did something proactive. If nothing else it might help you to process it all. And, despite some of the minimisers and deniers on here, you have had a huge amount of support.

Will you complain about your colleagues too?

Like others have said on here, some female comedians did it too.
It's not right but was seen to be ok at the time.

We've moved on and hopefully he's not behaving the same way.

If the email reply is dismissive or no reply, then what?

These days I believe the appropriate come back is to be just as obnoxious. Reply very loud “why don’t you four cunts jump up and down instead so we can see your tiny dicks wiggle? Heyyyyyyy it’s just a joooooke!”
Being stupid is not a crime, but it should definitely be fought back.

this is not something Frankie Boyle would do

I'd still be tempted to report. May not get anywhere, but why defeat ourselves out of the gate.

A friend was sexually assaulted by a famous musician and reported him some 20 years later when she found out he was trying to work with Sesame Street on an HIV/AIDS awareness special. They uninvited him. Don't underestimate the power of a report. Might not happen now, but you aren't the only one. Also a public review... I d guess you may help others feel encouraged.

Also, even if nothing comes of it, you said your piece. You stood up for yourself and reclaimed your power.

It's good that you feel better sending the email to hotel. Will you wait for the hotels response? Do you think the hotel will reply? Do you have an expectation of the contents of the hotels reply. If the reply entails what you would expect - can you see yourself feeling recovered from this?

Honesty and openness can have that effect and sometimes that’s enough to do it.

Hi.
I think the most significant issues that have affected my mental health over the years are the ones I've never gained closure on.

This has obviously affected you - so no, let me tell you you're not being unreasonable or overreacting. I absolutely think you should address what happened. If nothing else, it might help you to move on, and prevent some other woman having to endure the same humiliation.

I agree with others on here regarding contacting the hotel, or even the comedian's agent. Put down in writing exactly how he made you feel. Honestly, it's never too late, and you'll feel better for it. Be as brutal as you need to be. Write a review of his act too!!

This comedian sounds like he got stuck somewhere in the "Carry On" era!! Perhaps he thought he was the reincarnation of Sid James - talking to Barbara Windsor! "Knockers?" Who tf uses that word these days?? As for calling men up on stage to ogle you... well, that's totally inappropriate.

How does this constitute "humour" anyway?! More like something out of a Miss Wet T-Shirt contest.🤮

I guess there are women out there who would lap up this sort of attention, but you're not one of them.

Bloody annoying about your colleagues too. Perhaps your female colleagues were a tad jealous...

Sorry ive rambled on. It's nearly 2am and i can't sleep either. 😄

That sounds really, really horrible. Not just the comedian, but the reaction from colleagues. Too late for a claim for constructive dismissal, but your description is one of being forced to leave a job because you were being sexually harassed. I am so sorry that this happened to you.

While it may be too late to expect comedian or colleagues)to be sanctioned for their actions, you might find it helpful to lodge a complaint with the venue and your former employer.

Part of “moving on” (as others have suggested you do) may be to communicate your feelings to those responsible.

You sound thick as mince. You probably find all this juvenile arse/tits stuff funny. Would you be so amused if it were you called out in front of a room full of people? Stared at and asked to jiggle about on the spot? People go to these things for entertainment not to be singled out and ridiculed.

Op you are not wrong to feel upset about it but there is little you can do regarding a complaint now. As pp said, you could make an anon account on socials and put your complaint forward that way. It's the best way to get through to people these days.

The guy sounds like a complete Neanderthal prick with no intelligence.

By all means call the hotel and tell them you found him offensive.

No and it was worse in 73, but it is still a thing for old misogynists who love a "My MIL is so fat/ugly" joke or think that On the Buses is that last word in intellectual comedy.

In Blackpool there are a hell of a lot of those kinds of "comedians" because that is where the last bastion of the old sexist racist arseholes will go.