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AIBU?

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Original poster

14 yo Teenager refusing a haircut

78 replies

FootFlapperage · 13/02/2025 20:58

I've been trying to convince my son he really needs a trim up, you can still see the style when he had it done so wouldn't be to upsetting for him
But he's adamant that's how he wants it & it's making me anxious. It's so bushy now, and he doesn't brush & he'll wash in the shower if I'm lucky.
I'm surprised the school hasn't spoken to me about it, I need some advice please, because I'm on my own and it's difficult to get support.. I'd ask my mum to take us but she's unwell.
The barbers are out of town too
Aibu to my son?

OP posts:
Onlyvisiting · 13/02/2025 21:23

14 is more than old enough to choose his own hairstyle.

FoxtonFoxton · 13/02/2025 21:20

Why would school speak to you about an outgrown haircut?!! Leave him to it, he's 14 and can choose what he wants on his own head. I fried the shit out of mine with Sun In at his age so it could be worse.

Theunamedcat · 13/02/2025 21:20

I have two boys with waist length hair (one is below the waist now actually) I do need to support with washing (yes they have sen) but the eldest is getting really good with caring for it now still can't coordinate to tie it back but I do it for school and he let's it free the rest of the time tbh

BlondiePortz · 13/02/2025 21:19

anxious over hair really?

Ponderingwindow · 13/02/2025 21:18

You can require he wash, but not that he cut his hair. His hairstyle should be his choice.

DemelzaandRoss · 13/02/2025 21:18

Absolutely leave him as he is. If having long hair is the worst thing he does during teenage years, well in the big picture, that’s good.
Could be far worse.

TinyMouseTheatre · 13/02/2025 21:17

What did the school say?

Comedycook · 13/02/2025 21:13

This isn't worth stressing yourself out over op. My ds went through a similar phase...the more you go on about it, the more he'll dig his heels in. Just don't mention it. I stopped myself from nagging him and eventually he decided himself to have it cut. It's a control thing I reckon.

RadStag · 13/02/2025 21:10

pavillion1 · 13/02/2025 21:07

Im having the same problem OP

Why is it a problem?

MissUltraViolet · 13/02/2025 21:09

I feel like an important question here is why doesn't he want it cutting?

Does he like it how it is? is he trying to grow it out for a different style? Is he struggling with his mental health and just not caring about his appearance and hygiene?

pavillion1 · 13/02/2025 21:07

Im having the same problem OP

sanityisamyth · 13/02/2025 21:06

KezzaMucklowe · 13/02/2025 21:00

Pfffft. I have 14 year old dts who refuse hair cuts and wearing goats.
I have no answers only sympathy.

Goats smell.

PercyFone · 13/02/2025 21:05

My kids' rule is that as long as it's clean and they can get a brush through it, it's up to them.

I would draw the line at goats, though.

RadStag · 13/02/2025 21:05

As long as it's clean and brushed, who cares?

ConflictofInterest · 13/02/2025 21:04

But yes OP thankfully this is one you can throw onto the stop worrying about pile. I was about the same age when I stopped getting my haircut. I've never been back, it turns out hairdressers are not the compulsory life thing my DM thought they were. He'll be fine.

ConflictofInterest · 13/02/2025 21:02

Now I can't help picturing goats with unruly coats refusing their trims

Stealer · 13/02/2025 21:02

Wearing a goat must be a bit smelly.

MrsMalaga · 13/02/2025 21:01

Tell him he can grow it / style it as he wants but personal hygiene is non negotiable.

Octavia64 · 13/02/2025 21:01

I refuse to wear a goat as well.

oldestmumaintheworld · 13/02/2025 21:01

His hair, his decision. However. Washing hair, showering and being clean is non negotiable.

KezzaMucklowe · 13/02/2025 21:00

Pfffft. I have 14 year old dts who refuse hair cuts and wearing goats.
I have no answers only sympathy.

ragandbonewoman · 13/02/2025 21:00

It's his hair and he's 14 years old. Just leave him to it, honestly why are you even giving this headspace? Try not to worry, there are so many things to worry about and this isn't one of them

lnks · 13/02/2025 21:00

What’s wrong with him having longer hair?

wordleinthemorning · 13/02/2025 21:00

Pick your battles!

TomatoSandwiches · 13/02/2025 21:00

It's his hair op, unclench and let it go.