Page 8 | Single mum 45k a year in south east but just scraping by?

Bubblyb00b · 13/02/2025 21:19

Hellskitchen24 · 13/02/2025 20:07

Easiest answer ever. You need to move from London. Think of all the money you’ve spent on inflated London rent that you could have put towards a mortgage of your own.

I'm in the similar situation - moving out of London would either mean expensive commute or over 10k/ year less pay.

GRCP · 13/02/2025 21:15

Just an observation to aim to help...

£300 on fuel seems very high. I drive 25 miles per day and spend less than £100 a month. Is your car costing more than it would if you traded it in for a more economical one?

£500 on food also seems very high. We spend £400 a month and there are 4 of us. Could you cut back there, for example a cheaper supermarket?

Also I would cancel contents insurance and pay it into an easy access savings account instead. You can easily get 3.5% at the moment.

ilovemyhamster · 13/02/2025 21:06

You have my sympathy OP. It's so tough. I'm a single parent on 45k before tax and I already live up north. My mortgage is not like your rent but I'm literally down to the last fiver before payday every month. We keep going right?! 🧡

coralsky · 13/02/2025 21:05

45k isn't a huge wage in 2025 and you're a single income household living in the most expensive region. Not surprised it's a struggle.

Original poster

Plantball · 13/02/2025 21:04

AnotherDayinTime · 13/02/2025 21:04

South East, much lower, managing and I am even saving my whole salary

Please let me know how?!

OP posts:

AnotherDayinTime · 13/02/2025 21:04

South East, much lower, managing and I am even saving my whole salary

Original poster

Plantball · 13/02/2025 21:03

@TheHateIsNotGood thank you so much for this.

OP posts:

Original poster

Plantball · 13/02/2025 21:01

Oh my I wish I was in a mansion. I’m in a tiny house you can’t swing a cat in that’s a bit tired looking. £1.7k a month goes on

£200 council tax
£210 gas and electric
£300 fuel
£500 food
then there are contents insurance, car insurance, kids clubs…. It doesn’t go far! Then the washing machine breaks or some other appliance and then I spend my money paying that item back.
no holidays here!

OP posts:

BB49 · 13/02/2025 20:57

Why haven’t wages kept up at least a little with inflation? I’ve earned the same (45k) for the last 4-5 years, in the same job, doing well but pay rises have been max 1k a year.

Doggymummar · 13/02/2025 20:54

toomuchfaff · 13/02/2025 20:15

£18k a year on rent is criminal. It actually should be a crime.

(unless it's a mansion and you're living it large)

It's bog standard round here, I'm in Sussex 2 bed bungalow

ToKittyornottoKitty · 13/02/2025 20:53

Frostywinterwoods · 13/02/2025 20:52

If it helps, people on Uc are expected to live on £333 a month. I mean actually wtaf can you do with that?

And as the saying goes people generally tend to live to their means.

Down south it's impossible normally to get a mortgage or survive alone.

Show quote history

OP is on UC and isn’t expected to live on that…

orzomushroom · 13/02/2025 20:52

ReggaetonLente · 13/02/2025 20:28

I hate when people say ‘just move’. Some of us were actually born and bred in London you know, it’s not that easy to just up and leave your friends, family, kids friends and schools, community, jobs…

I get it OP, we are in the same boat and most of my friends who feel the same (in professional jobs, earning enough to not qualify for any help but not enough to have anything leftover at the end of the month) are nurses, teachers, social workers, speech therapists… does London not need any of these professions? Is it right that we should all just move away?

Anyway OP I know you’re not even in London but it’s a pet hate of mine when people say this!!

Agree with this post !

Frostywinterwoods · 13/02/2025 20:52

Plantball · 13/02/2025 20:05

There was a time I once thought a household income after tax of 45k meant a comfortable life. I am a single mum of two young kids in the south east. Rent alone is 18k of the money gone. I feel like I’m merely existing. Running a car, council tax, gas, electricity, food, kids clothes, shoes, clubs…

The money just doesn't go far. I know I am fortunate compared so many and I’m not pleading poverty. Just feeling very flat at never being able to better our life.

If it helps, people on Uc are expected to live on £333 a month. I mean actually wtaf can you do with that?

And as the saying goes people generally tend to live to their means.

Down south it's impossible normally to get a mortgage or survive alone.

TheHateIsNotGood · 13/02/2025 20:50

Nothing to add except you have my understanding and respect....just keep going and give any spare time you might ever get to 'recharging' your batteries. And one day, you will find that you're very slightly ahead of the storm.

Never compare your life to how others seem to have it; there's never a guarantee that they will never face similar difficulties and it hurts worse for the smug when it happens.

Keep going OP and allow yourself to be weak and weep at the end of a tough day. Women like you are why the world still turns round.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 13/02/2025 20:47

Plantball · 13/02/2025 20:37

I think I am not being clear I am not earning through a job all that, it’s just what we have!

1.2k is universal credit
1.5k is wages
1k is child maintenance.

So £1700 a month after rent, is much of that going on childcare? How big is your house?

Catza · 13/02/2025 20:43

ReggaetonLente · 13/02/2025 20:28

I hate when people say ‘just move’. Some of us were actually born and bred in London you know, it’s not that easy to just up and leave your friends, family, kids friends and schools, community, jobs…

I get it OP, we are in the same boat and most of my friends who feel the same (in professional jobs, earning enough to not qualify for any help but not enough to have anything leftover at the end of the month) are nurses, teachers, social workers, speech therapists… does London not need any of these professions? Is it right that we should all just move away?

Anyway OP I know you’re not even in London but it’s a pet hate of mine when people say this!!

Especially when in the same breath they complain about "Londoners" moving into their village and raising property prices.

Original poster

Plantball · 13/02/2025 20:38

I can’t afford to even save money. I am trying to work more hours but I am solely responsible for two young children. Their dad is rarely on the scene. Spinning 100 plates here!

always lived in south east. All friends and family, school, work is here. **

OP posts:

Original poster

Plantball · 13/02/2025 20:37

I think I am not being clear I am not earning through a job all that, it’s just what we have!

1.2k is universal credit
1.5k is wages
1k is child maintenance.

OP posts:

Ablondiebutagoody · 13/02/2025 20:31

£45k after tax is a shit load

wipeywipe · 13/02/2025 20:29

The rent is shocking too

MidnightPatrol · 13/02/2025 20:28

OP is earning ~£70,000 a year.

I agree OP, you would think this would afford you a decent standard of living.

Problem is, at ~£3,750 a month after tax… you’re probably taking home about the same as two people on minimum wage.

Despite earning £20,000 more than them.

Our tax system is increasingly ridiculous.

ReggaetonLente · 13/02/2025 20:28

I hate when people say ‘just move’. Some of us were actually born and bred in London you know, it’s not that easy to just up and leave your friends, family, kids friends and schools, community, jobs…

I get it OP, we are in the same boat and most of my friends who feel the same (in professional jobs, earning enough to not qualify for any help but not enough to have anything leftover at the end of the month) are nurses, teachers, social workers, speech therapists… does London not need any of these professions? Is it right that we should all just move away?

Anyway OP I know you’re not even in London but it’s a pet hate of mine when people say this!!

Catza · 13/02/2025 20:23

45k used to be sustainable now it isn't. Moving can also be problematic. We moved to South Glos and our rent is only marginally lower than it was in Surrey but I lost 15% of my salary due to not getting HCAS. So unless you are far north or across the Welsh border, there is no chance of getting by on 45k and to not feel like you are spinning your wheels.

wipeywipe · 13/02/2025 20:23

The OP said after tax so is earning more than 60k assuming she is paying into a pension.

LavenderBlue19 · 13/02/2025 20:23

YANBU. That's how much I earn and I know I'd struggle on my own. Salaries haven't kept up with inflation for a long time.