Page 3 | Single mum 45k a year in south east but just scraping by?

Jackiepumpkinhead · 09/08/2025 09:48

Sharptonguedwoman · 09/08/2025 09:45

They have to be the most essential thing. Swimming is a life skill. If you think that's not important, up to you.

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Fine, if she considers that essential then she can’t complain about ‘barely existing’. Her post is short sighted.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 09/08/2025 09:45

BIossomtoes · 09/08/2025 09:43

There is no entitlement in admitting you’re struggling to raise two children single handed on a mediocre income.

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On an income £42k after tax, massively topped up by benefits. Are you OK?

Sharptonguedwoman · 09/08/2025 09:45

Jackiepumpkinhead · 09/08/2025 08:22

Thank goodness the government gives you £1.2k a month! You can’t afford the swimming lessons.

They have to be the most essential thing. Swimming is a life skill. If you think that's not important, up to you.

Sharptonguedwoman · 09/08/2025 09:43

Porcuporpoise · 13/02/2025 22:26

But depending where you move, 10k a year less can still result in a better standard of living.

The SE is expensive, the options are accept it or move (we chose move).

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Just to say that moving costs a lot of money, even if you sell everything you can and move the absolute minimum, it's still expensive.

BIossomtoes · 09/08/2025 09:43

Jackiepumpkinhead · 09/08/2025 09:41

No anger here, just baffled by the entitlement.

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There is no entitlement in admitting you’re struggling to raise two children single handed on a mediocre income.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 09/08/2025 09:42

BIossomtoes · 09/08/2025 09:32

She doesn’t. She spends £400 a term, ie every three months. I make that £133 a month.

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Still a luxury, plus the expensive food she buys. She can spend her wages and benefits on whatever she chooses, but don’t plead poverty when you’re leading a better lifestyle than many people right now.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 09/08/2025 09:41

Justchilling07 · 09/08/2025 09:34

@Jackiepumpkinhead What l don’t understand, is why are some people angry, that a single parent is getting financial support.Single parents and parents on a low income have always had financial support, for many decades, this is not a new thing.So why the anger now?

Edited

No anger here, just baffled by the entitlement.

Blondeshavemorefun · 09/08/2025 09:37

BIossomtoes · 09/08/2025 09:32

She doesn’t. She spends £400 a term, ie every three months. I make that £133 a month.

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You beat me @BIossomtoesabout to write the same

making sure her children are safe in water and learn how to swim is to me a vital necessity

@Plantball is hardly down the pub sinking cocktails and doubles with her uc

she’s spending the child part of uc on her children. What a nice mum

Sharptonguedwoman · 09/08/2025 09:36

GRCP · 13/02/2025 21:15

Just an observation to aim to help...

£300 on fuel seems very high. I drive 25 miles per day and spend less than £100 a month. Is your car costing more than it would if you traded it in for a more economical one?

£500 on food also seems very high. We spend £400 a month and there are 4 of us. Could you cut back there, for example a cheaper supermarket?

Also I would cancel contents insurance and pay it into an easy access savings account instead. You can easily get 3.5% at the moment.

Contents insurance doesn't cost that much and is really important!

Justchilling07 · 09/08/2025 09:34

@Jackiepumpkinhead What l don’t understand, is why are some people angry, that a single parent is getting financial support.Single parents and parents on a low income have always had financial support, for many decades, this is not a new thing.So why the anger now?

BIossomtoes · 09/08/2025 09:32

Jackiepumpkinhead · 09/08/2025 09:26

My point is she is incredibly fortunate to live in a country that pays her £1.2k a month! If she wants to spend over a third of that money on swimming lessons, then that’s up to her. But don’t complain about the cost of living.

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She doesn’t. She spends £400 a term, ie every three months. I make that £133 a month.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 09/08/2025 09:26

Justchilling07 · 09/08/2025 09:05

@Jackiepumpkinhead oh dear, completely missing the point, op has been open about her financial situation, now you’re using that against her.
If wasn’t Op wasn’t a single parent with 2 young children, she wouldn’t be getting this financial support.

My point is she is incredibly fortunate to live in a country that pays her £1.2k a month! If she wants to spend over a third of that money on swimming lessons, then that’s up to her. But don’t complain about the cost of living.

Justchilling07 · 09/08/2025 09:05

@Jackiepumpkinhead oh dear, completely missing the point, op has been open about her financial situation, now you’re using that against her.
If wasn’t Op wasn’t a single parent with 2 young children, she wouldn’t be getting this financial support.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 09/08/2025 08:22

Thank goodness the government gives you £1.2k a month! You can’t afford the swimming lessons.

ChildFreeAndOhSoHappy · 09/08/2025 00:38

Plantball · 13/02/2025 20:05

There was a time I once thought a household income after tax of 45k meant a comfortable life. I am a single mum of two young kids in the south east. Rent alone is 18k of the money gone. I feel like I’m merely existing. Running a car, council tax, gas, electricity, food, kids clothes, shoes, clubs…

The money just doesn't go far. I know I am fortunate compared so many and I’m not pleading poverty. Just feeling very flat at never being able to better our life.

45k is nowhere near a big salary, esp not in London. I don't think 45k would have been a considered a good salary at any point in the last 25 years.

Justchilling07 · 08/08/2025 20:54

SiameseBlueEyes · 08/08/2025 10:05

We really threw everything at the mortgage in the early years We bought almost all our furniture second-hand. The children and I wore second-hand clothes and the children had second-hand toys and books. We drove old cars - reliable economical vehicles. We didn't have many holidays overseas - in fact, hardly any holidays. We did have decent food because scrimping on that was further than I was prepared to go. The scraping in the early years meant we were able to support one of our children in a very long and expensive training. My husband who had a few health issues was able to retire early. One of my children - who didn't have the really really expensive education of his sibling - will be helped with a deposit for a house as soon as he qualifies. We have a beautiful detached four bedroom house. The fact of the matter is that you have to cut costs in the early years if your want an easier later life. No matter how hard, you have to put money by.

Would you be able to afford to buy a four bed detached house at today’s prices, there’s no comparison to house prices, what, back in the 90’s or even 20 years ago, to what the younger generation are facing today And not just the younger generation, people in their 30’s/40’s.People are finding, they need 2 well paid incomes, to be able to afford the deposit, mortgage.

FortheloveofCheesus · 08/08/2025 20:42

Inflation. No, money does not buy what it once did. To buy what cost £45k in 2015, you need £62k now due to inflation. Thats CPI, however, and some would argue it doesn't always enough, for example higher housing costs for owner occupiers.

Justchilling07 · 08/08/2025 20:41

ToKittyornottoKitty · 13/02/2025 20:53

OP is on UC and isn’t expected to live on that…

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yes, but many are.

Bathingforest · 08/08/2025 20:27

Just buy. A flat, a shared, whatever. Ex council, etc

Catch the bus, cut the clubs

We live in Surrey on even less , I save 1000 per month.

ohwhatcanyoudo · 08/08/2025 12:45

Doggymummar · 13/02/2025 20:54

It's bog standard round here, I'm in Sussex 2 bed bungalow

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I’m in Brighton and it’s £1900 for a two bed! Not even a very fancy one!!!!!
Living in the South East is becoming even more ridiculous, not to mention all of the flats turning into Airbnb’s…
You have my sympathy OP!

SiameseBlueEyes · 08/08/2025 10:05

We really threw everything at the mortgage in the early years We bought almost all our furniture second-hand. The children and I wore second-hand clothes and the children had second-hand toys and books. We drove old cars - reliable economical vehicles. We didn't have many holidays overseas - in fact, hardly any holidays. We did have decent food because scrimping on that was further than I was prepared to go. The scraping in the early years meant we were able to support one of our children in a very long and expensive training. My husband who had a few health issues was able to retire early. One of my children - who didn't have the really really expensive education of his sibling - will be helped with a deposit for a house as soon as he qualifies. We have a beautiful detached four bedroom house. The fact of the matter is that you have to cut costs in the early years if your want an easier later life. No matter how hard, you have to put money by.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/04/2025 13:53

usernamealreadytaken · 12/04/2025 10:39

Household income after tax is £45k, and OP hasn’t said whether that includes any benefits! Assuming the best and it’s wages/maintenance, how much do you think someone should be able to earn and still claim benefits (paid for partly by people who earn less)?

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This thread is 2 months old so I’m not sure why you’ve revived it to ask a silly question. But actually she confirmed very quickly that 45k includes her benefits.

usernamealreadytaken · 12/04/2025 10:39

ToKittyornottoKitty · 13/02/2025 20:22

Have you checked if you are eligable for UC? You might be with high rent, especially if you have any childcare costs

Household income after tax is £45k, and OP hasn’t said whether that includes any benefits! Assuming the best and it’s wages/maintenance, how much do you think someone should be able to earn and still claim benefits (paid for partly by people who earn less)?

Original poster

Plantball · 16/02/2025 22:06

There are incredible amount of judgemental posts actually was quite sad to read.

I promise im not living remotely in luxury. I never spend money on myself. I just feel 45k should afford a better lifestyle than it does. I’m not complaining I’m not given enough I have at no point said that. Just that it gives a basic standard of living. My only luxury is food. And that £500 also includes all our washing powder cleaning products, toothpastes etc so food is more like £100 a week and we never eat out. I don’t consider that wild at all.

Their dad is not in the country he does not have the children. I can’t force him to have them either. I am working 30 hours a week so I’m not that far off of full time. I feel utterly burnt out on that. I’m sure as the children get a bit older it will get easier. Until then I guess I shall bide my time until I increase my hours.

I would never move north, all my friends are nearby. My whole support network. The women that have literally gotten me through the last most horrific few years when I honestly wanted to end my life after all the abuse I was put through. .

OP posts:

babbi · 14/02/2025 20:25

@TwatOnAHotTinRoof have to agree wholeheartedly about the maintenance ..
I got a quarter of that , like you I still spend very carefully although I earn more now .