Single mum 45k a year in south east but just scraping by?

Well said.

Ditto.

She is working🙄 as @PerkyGreenCat has just posted, £18 is going to a private landlord.Read her post, she’s working in a professional career, but having to claim benefits.

I once had hope that things would turn around and we could all live better lives, but we're essentially fucked and getting more ficked as the days go by.

The result of this is women in good jobs stuck in shit relationships because they can't afford to leave.
Women who leave get fucked by the cost of living and men who absolve themselves of parental responsibilities- financial or physical.

A government and press who encourage us to hate and tear each other apart.
Angry women who for one reason or another will rip another to shred - your salary is high, shut up and go away. You receive benefits - shut up and go away. Your ex pays CS - shit up and go away. You're lucky your husband helps with the house/children/finances- shut up and go away. Your family helps with childcare- shut up and go away.

On and on it fucking goes and it's so tiresome. No-one is allowed an outlet, even on an anonymous forum, because some children are learning to swim 🤦🏾‍♀️.

is shocking how much tax goes into private landlords hands

@Jackiepumpkinhead well the £18k a year she's giving the landlord is generous, isn't it so of course the generous benefits system is having to cover it.

OP earns £1500 per month and has another grand a month in child maintenance. That should be enough for her and the children to live on. But unfortunately, housing costs are so ridiculously high, the state is having to help out.

If housing costs were reasonable, OP wouldn't need to claim benefits.

I'm in a similar position, I earn more but without anywhere near as much child maintenance. I hate having to claim benefits despite working full time in a professional job. I rationalise it by considering that actually, it's my landlord claiming it under my name. My benefit top up is solely spent on rent. I still can't afford holidays. Everytime I progress in my career and get a pay rise, the rent goes up! I'll most likely be claiming benefits until retirement unless housing costs become more in line with people's income.

The state prop up extortionate rents and that's just the way it is.

This.

So if she was working she'd need to earn around 58k to have the same take home cash.

@Ritasueandbobtoo9 Do keep up, he’s paying £1,000.The state has always supported single parents.It’s hypocritical people now complaining about the benefit system, (when it’s actually the elderly people of today, who have and still are claiming benefits) it’s been around for many decades, why the anger now?

Some folk are never happy. Generous maintenance generous benefits and still complaining.

Please break that down, how does this equate to 58k?

You need to earn 60k to have 45k after tax.

£1.2k a month, just given to her, is not generous? Your attitude is disgraceful.

She doesn’t have a better lifestyle than me. I earn much more money than she receives. I don’t need benefits and have no resentment towards people who do need them. I just find it strange that people complain when they are receiving generous benefits. Especially in this case, when they are not on the breadline, can run a house and a car, provide their children with swimming lessons and clubs, it’s still not enough 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Please break that down, how does this equate to 58k?

And as op said - if she worked more she loses some uc it’s 55p in a £ so not the same as being taxed. Double that

but the overall amount is still around 3.5k a month including maintenance which after paying rent of £1.5k a month

leaves op with £2k - month for food bills and swimming lessons

it is incredibly hard being a single parent. I didn’t expect to be one and unlike op I don’t have ex paying maintenance of £1k. I get £28 a month but I work hard so that dd has swimming lessons and gym lessons as that’s her passion

I haven’t forgotten. Anyone who thinks the benefits system is generous is deluded.

I’d be sending them off to their father at a prearranged time and day. You don’t get to opt out of parenting your own children. I would refuse to have my children fulltime if I ever divorced. Why should I do all the slogging? Send them to their father and go back to work full time because once those children hit 18 years old you’ll lose everything but your income.

Oh @ConsuelaHammock you're so naive, I wish this was how life worked! If only OP could just pop the kids on a flight to whichever country their father is in, track him down, and wag her finger at him. He would, of course, apologise profusely and spring into action. He'd look after the children and abide by child contact times. Everything would be fine, OP just needs to "have a stern word".

In reality, men do exactly as they please. My child's father actually agreed to weekend contact so I could take on extra weekend work to supplement my shitty full time wage and the paltry £20 per week child maintenance he paid. I know, I was a lucky bugger!
Anyway, fast forward a few months and he decides he doesn't want to sacrifice his precious weekends anymore. He ignores all messages and doesn't pick the child up when he is supposed to.
I pop little one on the bus and we go to his house. I stand there knocking on the door, no answer. Banging on the door. No answer. Neighbours all curtain twitching wondering what is going on. Still no answer. If I carried on standing there banging on the door, someone would have called the police!
Outcome: I had to quit my weekend job. No one else to look after the kid.
Oh and by the way, he later told me he was in the house when we went round, he just refused to answer the door!

That's the long and tedious way of saying: YOU CAN'T FORCE ANOTHER ADULT TO DO SOMETHING THEY DON'T WANT TO DO!

I've put it in capital letters because I see this regularly being said on threads about single parents "just get him to have the kids more and get him to pay more child maintenance".

FATHERS CAN, AND REGULARLY DO, OPT OUT OF PARENTING AND PROVIDING FOR THEIR OWN CHILDREN!

Yes, it's not right. It's impacting on everything. Women being unable to progress in their careers, being unable to increase work hours, having to claim benefit top ups which increases the benefits bill, children not having a male role model, children having a stressed out mum.

It's shit but there's nothing we can do about it. There needs to be a societal shift where sanctions are put in place by those with power.

He’s paying £1000 a month. 🤷‍♀️

People who don’t appreciate the generous benefits system of this country are entitled, I think you fall into that category. Don’t forget, I also said you were deluded.

No wonder this country is a mess. Why isn’t Dad paying £300 a week to support his kids. Why is the state picking up this bill?

@Jackiepumpkinhead Have you got children?
Are you a single parent.If you think op has a better lifestyle than you, then check the criteria for universal credit.Personally l don’t claim UC, but from what l can gather, it’s not as easy to get as some people think.If you’re on a low income and a single parent, you’re more likely to fit the criteria.

She's on the equivalent of a pretax salary of around 58K.

Swimming lessons were one of the things I hung on to for DD when we were struggling a bit financially. No regrets.
I think, as often happens with these posts, is that we have an idea of what a reasonable income looks like and how we in theory should be able to live. Horrible truth is that real life is much more expensive and we end up bouncing along the bottom financially. One might be able to cut little bits here and there from the budget, but they are rarely life changing savings.

So now I’m entitled as well as OP. Is everyone who disagrees with you entitled?

A huge difference. Your posts are entitled and deluded.

How much difference do you think £133 a month would make? Your posts are sanctimonious.