Sister-in-Law didn’t invite my mother in

This is just weird.

Why not say she had the family round, then your mum probably wouldn't have gone round anyway as SIL is busy.

For SIL to say I'm unavailable, just put the stuff in the porch knowing full well she's indoors with her family seems in very poor taste to me.

Will your mum forever be 'porch lady' now to SILs family?

Very bizarre behaviour on your SILs part.

When your SIL states she is unavailable, is there a reason why your mother doesn’t rearrange rather than dropping things off?

This

If SIL is generally good to your mum and they have a good relationship then probably not worth rocking the boat over. Presumably SIL had her reasons so maybe best for your mum just to try and move on. SIL might have been embarrassed by someone in her own family etc...

Yep, I agree.

A lot of people going in on SIL like she is asking MIL to bring her these freebies, she isn’t! This is something that mum did for son before she even moved in, she’s just being polite enough to put up with it.

I bet she’d actually prefer it didn’t happen, especially as she works from home and regularly stops working to entertain MIL when she pops round with this stuff.

SIL was rude, initially for asking her to drop stuff in the porch knowing that MIL would see that she was in fact available to receive them, then for asking if she didn’t receive her text and then to turn her away without asking her in.
I can’t imagine doing that to someone I’d built up a relationship with.
No more freebies. MIL I’m sure will not be sad to lose the chats.

I don’t think it matters what’s right or wrong, I think most people would be hurt if they had such a nice relationship with someone and the person purposefully didn’t get them in to chat to their family. Saying that I’d say it’s good you stopped your mum making it a thing with your brother

were she to have been invited in, she could be one of those visitors that never go. The danger would have been that she would get comfortable and start the non stop talking and just stayed, whilst the SIL's family would have been silenced from talking about what they came round to talk about.

This ,

I mean why not just say, "I've got visitors coming, can we do this another day please?"

YABU

She let your mum know she wasn’t available and reads like you and your mum took that as not home.

There are a number of reasons that she likely not invited your mum in nor did she have to. She said she was unavailable and doesn’t have to say or explain to either of you the reason why.

Your mum put her in a weird position by knocking on the door knowing she said she was unavailable.

I would have probably not answered it if it were me.

Sil had guests so told your mum she would be busy and wouldn’t be able to entertain her.

Your mother overstepped by decided since she had company what’s one more who’s already been told no.

I’m with the sil on this.

I think your mum is very lucky that your SIL stops work and makes coffee/lunch and goes for trips out with your mum as it is every week or two.

She's throwing her toys out of the pram because she didn't get invited this one time

I wouldve felt awkward and invited her in once she knocked, but I wouldnt have been best pleased tbh.

Incredibly rude to ask your mother to leave stuff in the porch if SIL was actually in - should have said to come/ leave it another day.

Would I have knocked - probably not but I wouldnt have left anything there and would have been very upset by it.

Did your mum get the text?
If she did she should have done what was asked and left the things in the porch.

If she did not it's understandable that she'd knock, expecting the usual response.

The sil has been good to her. She's entitled to her privacy. She must have had good reason due not inviting the mil into the house. Maybe her family are an embarrassment to her. Or would ask awkward questions etc.

I don't think SIL has done anything wrong. My inlaws frequently decide they need to bring us something on a particular day or time and if we say we're busy, don't come, we don't need it, other reason - they say we're coming anyway "we'll just drop it off". So I don't feel inclined to invite them in if they choose to after being told not to come.
SIL told her she wasn't available so she shouldn't have knocked, that's an odd thing to do.

I'm with the majority, MIL was rude.

If I was at my house with my family for an arranged time and date and my MIL turned up ad knocked on the door when had particularly taken the time to tell her I wasn't available - id think it was odd

why shouldn't the sister in law have a gathering of friends and/or family without being interrupted or being forced to invite others in to the gathering?

it was all pre warned and set out as such

your sister in law is pleasant to your mother, has made an effort. This doesn't mean that your sister in law can't have a gathering without being forced to invite her MIL

She didn't ask her not to call round though. She told her to come over, but leave the stuff in the porch, giving the impression they were not at home. It's a bit much to say that you want the freebies, but you don't want to speak to the person giving them and driving them over to you.

Sounds like they have a great relationship and SIL said she wasn’t available, and she wasn’t. But I don’t think your Mum was wrong in knocking, as it was obvious someone was at home.

If I was your Mum I would have said ‘oh I can see you have your hands full, I’ll see you next week. Just thought I’d knock as I could hear you were home.’

Have your family not met hers in 4 years? Understandable for the SIL to want some time with her own family rather than be the facilitator between two groups who hadn’t met before.

I’d love to hear SIL’s version of this.

Why do these frequent deliveries have to happen in the middle of the working day? I wonder how much more often your SIL would really like to say she is unavailable.

Maybe SIL is sick of intrusion and overbearance. Maybe her own Mum is feeling that she doesn’t get much time with her Dd but knows she spends (is able to spend) time with the MIL and your SIL just didn’t want your Mum crashing in on her day.

The reason doesn’t matter. Your SIL laid down a rare boundary and said she was unavailable.

Your Mum did not respect that boundary and is no creating drama because she put herself in that position.

She clearly thinks that she does actually have the right to access to your brother’s home.

She's not a delivery woman!

She has been really good with your mum. She asked her not to call on a specific day but she still did. Your mum is the one in the wrong.

Same here. You don't invite someone to do you a favour, but leave it outside when family are clearly inside the house. I imagine your mum maybe thought her plans had changed so can totally understand why she knocked. I don't think she was wrong to knock the door.

SIL is rude as fuck. Yes do me favours, but stay outside with the staff.

I don't think your SIL has done anything wrong.

She politely asked your mum to leave stuff in porch but your mum ignored her wishes. If anyone is in the wrong, it's your mum.