Would you leave them alone overnight?

100% no

I think it’s fine. They aren’t babies, and are sensible kids.

I think looking after a sensible 12 and 13 year old is much easier and less risky than looking after a newborn or toddler.

I wouldn't leave a twelve year old, and probably wouldn't a 14 year old either. Would they know what to do in emergencies?

I think it’s fine to do it. I just think 3hrs is too far away. I’m sure you could find someone closer.

I wouldn't even consider it, I'd wait until the youngest is 16, not the oldest.

How do they feel about it? I wouldn't be worried about family not being local but I would want a trusted friend or neighbour within shouting distance if I was 3 hours away.

I think in 2 years time this would be fine. But a 12 year old overnight without an adult - no. I’m sure you are desperate for alone time without kids……. but is it worth it if something went wrong? Would you even be able to relax, I wouldn’t!

Can your relative come to stay and you offer to pay for a pet sitter so that they can leave their own pet?

Or can your youngest sleepover at a friends house? Then your eldest two could stay home alone overnight?

Yeh I agree I wouldn’t leave them alone overnight at those ages

I would leave them if family lived locally.

I looked after my 14 year old sibling at 16 a few times but my grandparents, aunts and uncles lived 5 mins away and a couple “popped in” to see how we were getting on. I think it’s a bit much to expect a friend or neighbour to be available to keep an eye on them & 16yo might not feel comfortable contacting them if struggling.

The main issue especially for your oldest child is managing the others, especially if there are fallings out or the younger ones won’t behave for their sibling. If Uncle Brian or Granny Nora can be there in a few mins to help out it’s different

Well I was going to say that you know your own children best OP and if they generally behave sensibly and responsibly I don't see a problem with leaving them over night. Especially given you say the neighbours or your friend would be able to help if there was some issue.
But I think you've answered your own question: if you personally aren't comfortable with leaving them then don't.
Because you won't enjoy your trip away for worrying.

Go with your gut OP. I can understand why your own experiences impact but what you describe in your own childhood even when allowing for how things were different was fairly unusual in terms of responsibility.
its the distance which is the worry

They'll be fine overnight. My brother and I were routinely left alone at that age and we are still alive.

OP if you feel in any way uncomfortable about it then don’t go this time, as it will cloud your weekend away anyway.
Maybe this year you can add some general housekeeping bits to their chores, I remember at 16 my mum showing me where the stop tap was, the electrical board/fuse box etc - all prepping me to keep house for a holiday the next summer 🤣 it was only me and my sister who is a year younger but she went away for a week when we were 16 and 17 and we survived!

I had to do this in an emergency once, daughter 16, son 14. I was blue lighted to hospital and my Mum couldn't get there until the following day. They were absolutely fine, but we lived in a small village with next to no crime, they were good kids and they had neighbours they could contact if anything went wrong. I wouldn't have done it by choice though.

Well in my day I would babysit family's children overnight from age 15/16 and there kids where alot younger than 12.

I think mine were 18 and 14 when DH and I spent a night away for the first time unsupervised. It was an hour's drive away so we left late afternoon and came back by lunch the next day.

Grandparents were 20 minutes away if there was an emergency.

Wait a year or so and go somewhere closer at first.

You know your children best, and you shouldn't leave them if you (or them!) don't feel comfortable doing so.

But in theory it sounds fine to me. As long as they are reasonable and all happy for the 16 yo to be in charge, it will be fine.
For those talking about them getting sick etc, honestly that's a non-issue, they can get sick any time but the probability they get something severe just the time you aren't there is ridiculously low.
You're not going very far anyway, so can always come back if there really is a need. I would probably brief someone closer as emergency contact anyway, just in case (as a kid it was our next door neighbour, we all had their phone number and they knew my parents were away).

Hell the fuck no.

No

I don't think anybody would think that it's a good idea for a 16 year old to be a parent, but there's a big difference between a 16 year old being responsible for their own baby and them being responsible for a 12 year old and a 13 year old.

What about if you shortened the distance for the first go at it? Would you feel more comfortable if you were say an hour away?

Build up to longer distances.

I assume you'll always be on the other end of a phone if needed.

If your gut is saying No, you have your answer. You know then better than anyone.

Also, at 16, the oldest could well HAVE a child themselves. Would looking after their own child at 16 be illegal then?