Would you leave them alone overnight?

Well good for you.

Id be so embarrassed to be so judgemental of another family. FTR (not that it’s any of your business) he has high functioning autism.

They were coping pretty well actually but running around finding towels to mop up the water whilst laughing with a hint of hysteria somewhat concerned that we’d be annoyed that it had happened in the first place or that the ceiling would fall down.

Oh it was implied though wasn't it.

Maybe it has hit a nerve. I need to examine that.

What about the people who can't read? I said nothing about anyone else I said I would feel I had failed.

Obviously hit a nerve lol

Oh behave. I'm sick of the judgy mcjudgerson's on here saying you've failed as a parent if you child doesn't leave home at 16, get a mortgage, 5 jobs, a first from Oxbridge or Russell Group whilst being vegan.

Id be so bloody embarrassed that a 22 year old couldn't deal with that and feel id failed in raising an independent adult

I had something similar happen to me, my sister was older age 17 and left me on my own to go out with her friends. I was age 13 at the time so I wouldn’t dare leave my children in charge of my younger ones, it’s not fair on any of them.

The biggest factor is is everyone comfortable with the arrangement?
Are they all capable of looking after themselves (and the oldest, nearly adult in charge just a formality)?
Do they all get on with each other well and respect each other?
Have they got nearby support if they have issues?

DM left me and DB for a week when I was 15 and he was 22. I was the sensible one. He was technically the adult and had survived uni. We had a really good week together. No bickering as no parents to play up to. I made sure the pets were fed on time and doors were locked.

At 9 DM's back went leaving her laid up on the floor for 3 days and I did a lot to look after her, me and personal care for a severely disabled relative who was staying with us. Older children are a lot more capable than many expect these days.

Less than 30 years ago, a few of my friends were living independently at 16/ 17.

If kids aged 12 and 14 aren’t capable of calling an emergency contact or dialling 999 in an emergency, you’ve failed as a parent

My gut says no, it’s too much and you’re too far away.

But having said that I don’t know why we all perceive overnight as somehow more dangerous. My 15 year old regularly babysits for other children - why is it ok to leave kids in her care in the evening when they’re awake and more likely to hurt themselves / choke / burn the house down making pizza but not when they’re asleep? Outside risk of fire / burglary could happen anytime too.

I still wouldn’t but it’s a bit illogical.

You know your own kids. Some kids couldn’t be trusted but plenty could.

LOL at people saying no 16-year-old is mature enough and that leaving him over night would be a matter for the police. Do people not realise that 16-year-olds can, eg, join the Army?

No. Definitely not. Not 3 hours away and not overnight.
Night out together for a few hours for a meal, fine, if the children are sensible.

No, it's too much responsibility for tje 16 year old

Complete rubbish

No way! Especially as you’re 3 hours away. Kind of shocked at this. Follow your instincts and ignore those pressurising you.

I'm pretty kid back and I'd leave a 16 year old overnight. I wouldn't leave them in charge of younger siblings though. I wouldn't go a 3 hr drive away either, I'd want to be closer in case of an emergency

I am quite laissez faire and left my 16 year old on her own with dog for 2 nights as she was happy to do so and lots of check ins. She’s youngest of 3 v mature.

No way would I leave her overnight with 2 younger sibs.

Call 999 like anyone else

No she wouldn't. There is no legal age for leaving children home alone as long as they are not at risk. A 16 year old can be hired as an overnight babysitter.

Stop spreading misinformation just because you wouldn't do it doesn't mean it's illegal.

If your children are responsible, and your 16 year old is mature then one night is fine @MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel. It's not illegal.

Worse, the eldest isn't yet 16, OP says she's 16 - almost!

No I wouldn't.

It's one of those. It would probably be fine, but I would be too worried about what if scenarios. NSPCC Guidance is no child under 14 should be left alone at all, certainly not overnight.

Could they go to sleep overs with friends and you offer to reciprocate at a later date?

Not in a million years

No she wouldn’t. DH is police. He’d have left ours alone at 10 and 11 if I’d agreed!!!

My sons were left alone for 2 nights for the first time at 16 and 17 and I was more worried about them fighting each other than anything else! I kept texting saying be kind & look after each other. They replied with the usual “K”

Could the youngest maybe stay with a friend overnight? And you could look for a night away somewhere closer? 3 hours away is too far.