To ask them to put the heating on,?

Do you live in a huge house or is it poorly insulated? My power bills are £85 a month - down quite a bit on last year because I had new double glazing installed. It’s paying for itself. And that’s an 1860ish cottage with no damp course or insulation through the walls.

I'd just ask your mum if she minds you putting the heating on as it's freezing. Are they really going to say no? Take them out of a meal or something if you're staying with them.

Did you mean to ask me such a stupid question?

@AnnaQuayInTheUk what if you just used eg a portable heater for the section you use if they say no ?

Depends how close I am to them. My mom and dad I would ask to turn it on / down.

Other people? I just sit with my coat and scarf on and wait for them to get the hint.

OP the reason the house feels freezing cold is the've done that old-person thing and switched half the radiators off!

@HauntedBungalow why do you feel the need to be so rude?

£600 jakers we were on oil in the rural house. That's a tank of oil.

@oakleaffy Of course they do! Cooking apples are the only type of apple you can make apple sauce from! 🙄

My ILs have never had central heating! Just didn’t see it as a priority. Gas fire in the living room & oil filled radiators in bedrooms. House is freezing. We live locally so have never stayed overnight since the 90s. The living room is ok but going to the bathroom is torture! We don't visit anymore as DH uses a wheelchair & there is no disabled access for him. MIL comes to us instead. I fully expect when MIL passes we will find a house riddled with damp.

There's lots of things I'd rather spend money on than boring items like shelter and fuel but these things cost money and I fund them as basic priority. Then I spend what's left on the fun stuff.

Obviously we all have different ideas on what's important but I'd rather do that than drift around a cold dark house in Havisham cashmere nibbling at old wedding cake.

I'm already spending £350 a month on heating...... What would you consider a reasonable maximum?

Our January bill was over £600.

DB is staying with us for a few days and is WFH whilst he does so. I've given him an electric heater for the study.

Yebbut that's when you have guests. Just the two of us we light the log burner in the sitting room and brave the loo, kitchen. Because my husband is tight. When we have guests heating is on and he mutters into the phone because Octopus gives him daily usage 😄

@Ddakji we must have very different houses, with a woodburner going for visitors the loo would never be glacial, and unless it’s really exceptionally cold nor would it be with heating on in the early mornings and evenings. How do you cope with going outside?

I move around in my house so I heat the whole house. I don’t want to go from a warm living room to a freezing bathroom, kitchen or bedroom. And that would be the same for when we have guests so I wouldn’t just heat up a single room and have them have to use a glacial loo. For me that’s very inhospitable.

Normally I am of the view that it is rude to adjust or ask to put up someone else’s heating. However, this is where the heating is at (say) 17/18 degrees and your preference is 20/21.

13 degrees is objectively too cold. WHO recommendations are 18 degrees for daytime heat in living areas. 13 degrees is unhealthy - especially for octogenarians (I believe below 16 degrees is not recommended even for younger people). I hate a stuffy house and I cold water swim and can regulate my temperature well - but I’d be miserable with 13 degrees.

Id raise it from a perspective of concern for your mother. If she’s moved in with her partner, he can’t unilaterally decide this is an acceptable temperature to save money.

So I would raise it - both with them together and with each individually. You can get a heated throw/heat pad for the period you are there. But I wouldn’t be happy with my elderly mother living like this long-term.

What temperature did your mother used to have her house before she moved in with partner?

Haha! The lights! Another classic British debate

Never accept an invite round my parents’ house @PinkSparklyPussyCat - they keep temperatures like OP’s parents and they never turn the blimmin lights on. They’re basically cave people!

@HauntedBungalow but I’m wrapped up in cashmere and therefore not cold so why heat a whole house up?

In any case, is there really nothing you’d rather spend money on that heating rooms that are empty?

Who is wearing shorts and t shirt? I have an oodie and thick trackies bottoms plus a thermal long sleeved t shirt. It’s 17. I’m starting to get chilly. Heating is for making the place warm when you are cold - why wouldn’t it occur to you to put it on when, by your own admission, your house is cold?

Oodies are indeed fab. However I need mine on at temperatures up to about 19 if I’m sitting down. At 13 it wouldn’t be enough - and it doesn’t keep your hands and face warm anyway.

Sorry, I took it the wrong way!

It wasn't so much the windows when I was in the office, it was the bloody lights! Two people wanted it to be like a cave and the fuss if anyone dared open the blinds! I'm not working at the moment and I'm not looking forward to going back to those arguments!

Sorry meant that to be funny rather than horrible!

Feel like I’m 23 again working in a call centre arguing about whether the windows should be open. Cue hours upon hours of babies versus meanies debate

Or someone sensible who doesn't like being cold when they don't have to be 🙄