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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask them to put the heating on,?

235 replies

AnnaQuayInTheUk · 13/02/2025 13:58

If you're a guest in someone's house, is it ok to ask them to turn the heating on/up?

I live in an old draughty house with big single glazed sash windows, so I'm quite used to being chilly. We try to keep the house at about 18, it's very difficult to get it above that but if a guest was cold I would have no issues with plugging in additional heaters etc.

I'm currently staying with my mum for a few days. She lives with her partner and has moved into his house. It's freezing. The living room has a thermometer in it and it's currently 13C. It's a modernish house, fully double glazed and centrally heated.

They split the bills. They are quite well off - nice cars, several holidays a year - so it's not a money issue. According to mum, her partner thinks it's wasteful if they put the heating on during the day, as they are out a lot. They are both retired. They do go out a lot but usually one or both come home at lunchtime. They are usually both in by 5pm but the heating doesn't come on until nearer to 6.

I'm trying to work from here for a few days. I am so cold it's difficult to concentrate. AIBU to ask (insist?) that the heating is on during the day?

OP posts:
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Praying4Peace · 16/02/2025 15:33

Bignanna · 13/02/2025 15:23

18 is not high enough either. Minimum of 20 in my house. What’s the point of being miserly, refusing to have warmth in their house, especially if they can well afford it. I had a poor childhood and was always cold, but damned if I’m going to be now! Being warm should not be a luxury!

Ditto, I have experience of this also. I also recall having to sleep on the settee with my son at my feet so we could both be as warm as possible.
So it is pure heaven to come home to a warm home and wake up in one too. I never take that for granted. I am not wealthy by any means but am comfortable.
I simply cannot understand people who refuse to put the heating on when they can afford to.

BoldAmberDuck · 16/02/2025 14:15

whatawonderfultime · 13/02/2025 15:03

If it's less than 22, ie the actual recommended guidelines, I would ask for it to be turned up.

I do it everywhere, even did it in pizza hut yesterday.

No shame here.

my house and business are both 24, so I practice what I preach.

Do you have high energy bills? We set ours at 18 and turn up in the evenings

Freud2 · 15/02/2025 18:28

I'd definitely ask to put the heat on. I would hate it if I knew friends or family visiting were cold.

user9876543211 · 15/02/2025 14:43

I hate stuffy feeling houses, so we keep ours on the cooler side. Around 14 for sleeping, when possible, but I prefer it around 19-20 in the rest of the house during the day. However, I'd want any guests to tell me if they found it cold. I would feel awful if someone was uncomfortable and afraid to tell me in my house.

Glad you worked it out, OP. And your mum and her partner sound like really inspirational models for ageing.

cardibach · 15/02/2025 11:31

BigButtons · 14/02/2025 22:56

I think it depends on the house. Is a house is damp or on the damp side it feels a lot colder. My old house felt freezing at 17- my current house is ok at 13.5 during the day and also fine at 15.5 during the evening.itvis a dry house.

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Mine is dry too. Those temps are very low. Where’s the thermostat/thermometer? I’d want a coat to be walking around at 13.5 outside.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 15/02/2025 11:11

BigButtons · 14/02/2025 18:18

I keep mine at 13.5 during the day. I wear warm cloths. It’s absolutely fine.

It's really not.

I woke up Ystd and my house was 15 degrees and felt freezing, there's not enough clothes in the world for it to be anything other than miserably cold.

That sort of temp would make me feel ill.

Op have you asked them to put the heating on yet?

Thistlewoman · 15/02/2025 00:00

cardibach · 14/02/2025 21:47

This isn’t though - these particular pensioners have money.

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I know. But the message I replied to suggested that all pensioners qualify for WFP. They don't. I was pointing out a commonly held misconception, that's all. Nothing to do with OP's situation.

BigButtons · 14/02/2025 23:54

HauntedBungalow · 14/02/2025 23:51

What kind of cloths? Dishcloths? How do you get them warm? Have you ever considered buying a coat?

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Primark pyjamas- the warmest things I have ever come across. They are like magic.

HauntedBungalow · 14/02/2025 23:51

BigButtons · 14/02/2025 18:18

I keep mine at 13.5 during the day. I wear warm cloths. It’s absolutely fine.

What kind of cloths? Dishcloths? How do you get them warm? Have you ever considered buying a coat?

OverTheRaincloud · 14/02/2025 23:47

SAH07 · 13/02/2025 15:25

If they aren't home I don't see why you should put the heating on. If I'm wfh alone I just shut the door of the room I'm working from and use a hot water bottle or small heater. Can you try that? Different if everyone was home and not wanting to put the heating on

100%

StrikeAlways · 14/02/2025 23:13

AnnaQuayInTheUk · 14/02/2025 15:27

Well, I've just solved the mystery of how my Mum stays warm. I popped downstairs to make a cup of coffee and she was in the living room skipping. Round their very large coffee table whilst watching some property programme. Apparently she does 50 minutes of this if she's ever in the house for the afternoon. Not just skipping, she also does hopping (although for some reason not jumping) and some lunges.

I just hope I have her energy if I ever get to her age!

I’m knackered just reading about their activities 😳

StrikeAlways · 14/02/2025 23:02

13c is a ridiculous and very unhealthy temperature for a home. The only time that could be justified is if the owner was struggling in real poverty and then, they should receive some help.

BigButtons · 14/02/2025 22:56

cardibach · 14/02/2025 21:46

I wear the right cloth3s. Thermal base layer, thick joggers, oodie and a fleece blanket. Still freezing and uncomfortable at below 17.5

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I think it depends on the house. Is a house is damp or on the damp side it feels a lot colder. My old house felt freezing at 17- my current house is ok at 13.5 during the day and also fine at 15.5 during the evening.itvis a dry house.

croydon15 · 14/02/2025 22:28

I could not/would not stay in such a cold house especially if they can afford to put the heating on, it's disregarding guest comfort.

oldmoaner · 14/02/2025 22:09

I'd go out and buy a halogen heater, cheap to run and fine for direct heat. Say I hope you don't mind but I've been so cold I felt ill. It's cheap to run (about 12p/hour) and I'll give you money towards the electric. Are you staying there for free or paying towards food etc?

Original poster
AnnaQuayInTheUk · 14/02/2025 21:55

I can assure you that they absolutely are NOT short of money. I think I've made it clear across my posts that they are pretty well off.

There are possibly many reasons why they are not heating the house but fuel poverty isn't one of them.

OP posts:
ArtTheClown · 14/02/2025 21:49

If people find temperatures of 18c and under uncomfortable, does that mean you’re putting your heating on in the summer too?

My heating comes on per the thermostat rather than season, so in theory yes.

cardibach · 14/02/2025 21:47

Thistlewoman · 14/02/2025 21:02

Except it's NOT an automatic qualification for the Winter Fuel Payment based on age anymore, thanks to those twisters Rachel Reeves and Starmer. The threshold for qualification is RIDICULOUSLY low, actual poverty level. Many older people are terrified of running up big fuel bills thanks to the energy price rises... and this is the result. Pensioners living with their house at 13c during the day😕

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This isn’t though - these particular pensioners have money.

cardibach · 14/02/2025 21:46

BigButtons · 14/02/2025 20:14

Not if you wear the right clothes and your house isn’t damp. It doesn’t feel at all cold to me. Cool- but not cold.

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I wear the right cloth3s. Thermal base layer, thick joggers, oodie and a fleece blanket. Still freezing and uncomfortable at below 17.5

cardibach · 14/02/2025 21:46

BigButtons · 14/02/2025 20:13

It is for me and everyone else in the house.

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You are very unusual then. At 13 I feel ill.

Thistlewoman · 14/02/2025 21:02

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 13/02/2025 14:15

Yes just ask. How old are they? If they are old enough to qualify for extra money for heating then they do actually have to spend that money on heating.

Except it's NOT an automatic qualification for the Winter Fuel Payment based on age anymore, thanks to those twisters Rachel Reeves and Starmer. The threshold for qualification is RIDICULOUSLY low, actual poverty level. Many older people are terrified of running up big fuel bills thanks to the energy price rises... and this is the result. Pensioners living with their house at 13c during the day😕

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 14/02/2025 20:31

AzurePanda · 14/02/2025 17:49

@wfhwfh there’s a whole lot of research suggesting turning your thermostat down has considerable health benefits, particularly cardiovascular and metabolism related but also mood. Michael Mosley did a whole programme on it. Also latest research has suggested that (unless you’re elderly or have health issues of course) the guidelines of 18-21C are unnecessarily high for most people.

Being cold would not improve my mood!

BigButtons · 14/02/2025 20:14

Bignanna · 14/02/2025 18:48

That’s akin to living in an igloo!

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Not if you wear the right clothes and your house isn’t damp. It doesn’t feel at all cold to me. Cool- but not cold.

BigButtons · 14/02/2025 20:13

cardibach · 14/02/2025 19:01

No it isn’t.

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It is for me and everyone else in the house.

LindorDoubleChoc · 14/02/2025 19:23

You're there for a few days! Why the long, long post?

Have you asked if you can have the heating on while you're staying and wfh?

If they say no, why not go home?

Confused
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