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Original poster

Leaving kids home alone for 5 days?

332 replies

PinkPinkPinkBlue · 13/02/2025 13:21

Dh and I have never been away with out kids not even for a night. I want to suggest a 4 night city break to him but before I do just wondering if you would leave dc of these ages home alone? Grandparents live a couple of miles away and would pop in everyday and happily run my youngest to activities.
DD 19 (holidays so back from uni)
DS 16
DD 13

OP posts:
MajorCarolDanvers · 13/02/2025 17:25

MabelMora · 13/02/2025 13:23

Yes, I would...unless the older two are raging party animals?

Agree with this.

enjoy.m your break

SnoopysHoose · 13/02/2025 17:24

It's 4 days, not 4 weeks, always mystified by those who won't leave teenagers.

Delatron · 13/02/2025 17:20

Yes as long as the 19 year old is happy to look after the 13 year old and understands what this involves. I think it’s a good idea to have grandparents to pop in from time to time and to encourage on dog walks.

Endofyear · 13/02/2025 17:17

I had my eldest child at 19. You know your children best but I would think a 19 year old is capable of looking after a 13 year old for a few days, especially if grandparents are nearby if needed.

dizzydizzydizzy · 13/02/2025 17:14

I'm not sure why PPs are saying not to leave a 13yo with their grown up siblings. It sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

MumonabikeE5 · 13/02/2025 17:00

Can you ask your 19yo if she would be willing to do this, outlining clearly your expectations and needs for the care and supervision of your younger children .

if she willingly -not begrudgedley- agrees then I would talk to your younger two.

if they are a comfortable with the idea, and also agree to the expectations and need to follow your eldests instructions. Then I think this is a reasonable thing to pursue

during term time. During the week. But not in exam season.
where there is an established routine and regular expectation of attendance etc .

Original poster
PinkPinkPinkBlue · 13/02/2025 16:58

Dd13 would be absolutely fine and I think she would be put out if I shipped her for 4 days, she would definitely prefer to be home with her siblings.

My dd19 would happily look after them, I wouldn’t expect her to cook I would transfer money for takeaways in the evening and they can each sort their own breakfast and lunch. I think I will ask dh what he thinks later tonight.

OP posts:
Uberella · 13/02/2025 16:56

At 19 I was a mum taking care of a newborn whilst living in my own flat.

I'm pretty sure a 19 year would be capable of taking care of two teenagers for a couple of days.

ACynicalDad · 13/02/2025 16:55

I'd probably pay the 19yo a couple of hundred, but no issue from me. My parents sent me skiing aged 13 with my 19yo brother as my father was unwell. That's way more risky and he was drunk for a good part of the week.

CurlewKate · 13/02/2025 16:53

To be honest- and assuming no backstory, SEN or ND I would feel I had done a crap job of parenting if I couldn't do this....

user2848502016 · 13/02/2025 16:52

Yes I would as long as the eldest is trustworthy to be in charge of the youngest and was happy to do so

WaitingForMojo · 13/02/2025 16:50

Glorybox2025 · 13/02/2025 13:29

What's the reason people wouldn't leave the 13 year old with their two older siblings?

My 13yo wouldn’t be ok with it but neither would they stay overnight with grandparents.

I would if they were all comfortable with it.

nixon1976 · 13/02/2025 16:50

Yes of course. I have exactly the same aged kids and I do it. The 19 year old is an adult!

LazyArsedMagician · 13/02/2025 16:45

Some of the responses on here are flabbergasting.

I think I've outgrown mumsnet, everything I read at the moment I'm just astonished at the level of coddling children are getting.

LazyArsedMagician · 13/02/2025 16:44

Because god forbid a member of the family do something because they're y'know, part of a family? No, we only help out when there's money involved.

Jesus.

I mean of course cover costs but payment? As a mother of 13 yo and 16 yo boys I'm bloody glad I'm confident mine are self sufficient enough that I could leave them alone for 4 days. I wouldn't, but they could absolutely look after themselves.

CloudywMeatballs · 13/02/2025 16:42

PollyPut · 13/02/2025 15:59

Why not just take the children if you can afford it? Won't they be a bit jealous of you?

From the OP: "Dh and I have never been away with out kids not even for a night."

They don't want to take their kids! They want some time by themselves, and there's nothing wrong with that. And so what if the kids are jealous?

saveforthat · 13/02/2025 16:38

I've only read page 1 but some of the responses on here are crazy. 16 and 13 year olds need to be supervised when cooking, really? And being online or not getting fresh air for four days never killed anyone. Op just go and enjoy it. They will be fine.

SouthLondonMum22 · 13/02/2025 16:36

Only if the 19 year old is happy to look after her siblings and I'd pay her too.

LazyArsedMagician · 13/02/2025 16:36

it's not fair to leave the older ones reasonable for them

I don't understand this thought. This is a 13 year old, not a 3 year old. Even if they live on pot noodles and go to bed at 3am for four days, so what?

Plus - maybe ASK the 19 year old first before assuming they won't do it?

I agree with those posters saying no wonder kids are growing up with no idea how to do anything.

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 13/02/2025 16:33

I would unless there’s a specific reason why not ie 19 year old well known for being silly and unreliable.

cestlavielife · 13/02/2025 16:33

You are leaving an adult incharge of two teenagers
If the adult is happy to take the responsibility it is fine

TheyAreNotAngelsTheyDontCareAtAll · 13/02/2025 16:33

PinkPinkPinkBlue · 13/02/2025 13:24

Obviously dd is more than capable of looking after herself but not sure if it’s fair to make her responsible for the younger 2. They all get on well and dd comes home from uni regularly and it’s like she’s never been gone.

She's 19! Will be good to have a bit of responsibility!

JMSA · 13/02/2025 16:32

I'm a very laidback parent, especially by Mumsnet standards! However I definitely wouldn't leave the 13 year old.

Lavender14 · 13/02/2025 16:30

Pippa12 · 13/02/2025 13:24

Your 19 year old is an adult so personally I would leave my 16 year old with them.

I wouldn’t leave them responsible for the 13 year old tho. Perhaps the grandparents can look after the youngest for you?

Have a great time wherever you go!

This is my thinking too. I wouldn't leave a 19 yo responsible for a 13 yo for such a long time. I think if the 19 and 16 yo are sensible and likely to behave themselves then I'd leave them together and get the 13yo minded.

I think you would need to lay out very clear basic ground rules for the 19 yo and reinforce these for them with the others. I'd still have your parents call in every day to see how they're getting on.

stichguru · 13/02/2025 16:26

Obviously the 19 year old is old enough to have their own baby, so they are definately old enough to be responsible for a 13 year old, but they need to actually agree to be in loco-parentis while you are away. The 13 year old is too young to be left alone overnight, so if the 19 year old is in loco-parentis and will follow the normal rules about getting their sibling to bed, up for school, fed and watered, helping with homework, being responsible for getting them medical care if they need it etc. If they are happy with that that's fine, if not then the 13 year old can only be at home for a few hours in the day, more than that they need to be with grandparents or another adult.