Leaving kids home alone for 5 days?

We did!
20, 19 and 13.
the 20 year old came back from uni for a week because the 19yo was working.
They had a brilliant week, took him to the beach after school for fish and chips and arcade, made pizzas one night, went to top golf… he was almost disappointed when we came home!
They are all really responsible and we do have loads of family very nearby and fab neighbours but tbh the older 2 are very capable, properly competent in the kitchen and well house trained so we had no concerns. We’d left plenty of dosh for excursions and dinners out and takeaways and top up shops.

Honestly all I meant with regards to ‘looking after’ is actually being in the house overnight with them. Checking they’ve actually eaten. That kind of thing.

You wouldn’t leave a 13/14 year old overnight alone. So that’s the level of looking after really. Just being around in the background.

Because it appears from the comments on here that it is not a good thing to do as a parent. It hadn't bothered me before I read all these comments. My kids would see it as a long duvet weekend 😄

Why are you worried?

I’m not sure why posters wouldn’t leave a 14 yo with a responsible 19 year old for a few days. The 19 yo is old enough to have a few babies under her belt, if that’s the route she had wanted to take - so not sure why she couldn’t be take care of a 13 yo.

And it doesn’t matter in the slightest if they don’t get enough fresh air/eat crap food/stay up too late or whatever - it’s four four days and the independence of it all will help with their sense of responsibility and self-worth.

(I would imagine the 13 yo knows to shower/brush teeth/help themselves to snacks/boil an egg, etc, etc).

I'm planning to go away for work for 4 days in the Easter holidays and leaving my 16 yo and 17 yo by themselves. The responses on here have terrified me!

Mine are real homebodies with high functioning asd., so it'll be pizza , air fryer chips, tv, and no real cooking. Ok, they might put a kettle on to make noodles! I'm confident there'll be no parties, nor even opening the front door....

Plus, I will have their godmother with a key who lives at the corner of the road popping in on evenings. ...but I'm still worried now...

I wouldn't leave the 13 year old.can he stay with relatives?

Adding my voice to those saying this is perfectly fine - they sound sensible and honest-to-god, even if they just hole up in the house for five days straight, living on takeout and not even opening the curtains, they’ll have a whale of a time. This is considered risk-taking - which will help build their confidence and resilience while still being safe given the proximity of their grandparents and the presence of your eldest. Fingers crossed your DH goes for it, OP!

i had dd1 at 19. As long as the 13 year old and 19 year old get on and your 19 year old plans to be at home each evening you are away I don’t see the issue.

the 16 year old is neither here nor there. They are old enough to stay on their own but wouldn’t leave them in charge of a 13 year old.

There is much that is depressing about the thread, but the suggestions that the 19 year old should be paid, that a 16 year old needs supervision while cooking and that a NT 13 year old cannot get themselves up and dressed for school are probably the most depressing.

Yanbu, my dad seemed worked abroad when my siblings and I were those ages and my mum would go and see him for a few days leaving us at home. It was fine.

God ,I was getting up, making packed lunch and kut of the house in year 7, mum had left for work at 7am. I left at 8:20. Came home at 3:40, did my homework, and also would make dinner 2 times a week if she was on a later shift.

I your 13 year old can't get up, get ready for school, make breakfast and do homework independently, you've done something wrong

My eldest two absolutely could do that. And did. Entirely independently, with zero input from me. Whilst knowing that I or dh were in the next room or getting ready ourselves or whatever. And that they'd be in the shit if they missed that bus.

Totally different scenario to them doing it effectively totally unsupervised (which we never tested with either at 13 so who knows if they would have).

Absolutely would do this. It’s 4 days, it will be like a little at home holiday for them.

I had a baby at 19. They are an adult I would have no issue with this.

You need to be careful with statements like that. My teenager can't do those things. She is autistic.

I think it’s fine with their ages and level of responsibility but because you’ve never left them alone before, I think you should start with 2 nights, that’s what I’ll do anyway as 4 nights seem long for something you’ve not tried before

I your 13 year old can't get up, get ready for school, make breakfast and do homework independently, you've done something wrong.

My 5yo can do this!

Why not?

It rather depends on whether the 19 year old is happy being responsible for the 13 year old. If so, then yes.

Why would you pay them???

Seems more than fine to me

Isn’t it during the school holidays?

Yes as long as the 19 year old is happy to look after the 13 year old and understands what this involves.

How much 'looking after' does a 13, very nearly 14yo need? What does this 'looking after' involve?

if the 19 year old is in loco-parentis and will follow the normal rules about getting their sibling to bed, up for school, fed and watered, helping with homework...

I'd be worried if a 13/14 yo wasn't capable of getting him/herself to bed, getting up, getting food and drink, doing homework.... As pp said, they're 13 not 3.

Ha, this reminds me of when I was at university and one of the first-years had her younger sister visiting her for a couple of days.

Sister was 10.

I mean, Big Sis was very much a Nice Quiet Christian Student surrounded by Nice Christian Students but none of us thought it was an issue given that they were both happy with it.