Leaving kids home alone for 5 days?

Yeah I’d do it as long as they’re responsible.

Absolutely fine. You know they're sensible.
Oh, and don't pay the eldest, as some people have suggested. You're a family, they're siblings, they help you out and they help each other out.
Have a good trip!

My mum regularly left my brother in charge while she went away. Nothing terrible happened, but he did lord it over me and it's probably a contributing factor to the resentment between us.
This started when we were probably 13 & 17, she'd left him in charge for shorter periods since I was much younger, 7 or 8.

@restingbitchface30 surely it depends on the siblings. Maybe some people are remembering what they were like at 19! Also not all siblings listen to each other. I certainly wouldn’t have taken kindly being told what to do by my older brother and we would probably have killed each other 😂

Why not just go away for 1 night?

I think it’s a lot going from zero to 3 nights.

I doubt you’ll be able to fully enjoy yourself for 3 nights if you’re worrying.
1 night locally will allow you to enjoy it more.

I wouldn't have a problem.

So long as the eldest is responsible, they can be left in charge.
Not if they are likely to hold a wild party though!

100%, I find it weird people wouldn’t leave the 13 year old in the house with an adult!

No… not fair on your eldest

That would be an excellent learning experience for them, they will be happy they managed well, when you come back. I would have been thrilled if my parents did that. Go for it!

If the DCs and grandparents are happy with this, I'd be ok with what you've described. I'd be wary of anything that means the eldest trying to take on too much of a surrogate single parenting role (eg re bedtimes, homework etc), as it's difficult to suddenly change from a sibling dynamic and could cause tension. With GPs regularly popping in and able to help sort out any disagreements that sounds fine to me. We left ours for a weekend at 15 & 18. They were absolutely fine, but the new carpet wasn't. Maybe ban things that stain if knocked over if that would bother you too?

Yep they’ll be absolutely fine. Enjoy yourself!

a 13 year old would be fine on their own already! Fair enough, an adult presence to reassure, but no work is actually expected from the 19 year old. It's not like you live her for 5 days in charge of a toddler.

For those saying 19yo could have her own kids, that is true but that would have been their choice and their responsibility to look after. the 19yo didn't choose to have siblings so shouldn't have to be responsible for them.

Of course it’s ‘fair’ to expect your older children to look after their 13 yr old sibling as a one off. Mum and dad obviously do plenty for them and it’s not like it’s been a regular occurrence and they’re expected to do it all the time. I’m sure if asked they’d be happy for mum and dad to have a short break.

I was left home alone for two weeks aged 16 and coped fine. Took myself off to school every day and neighbours were on hand if needed

Yes I have / would. Younger DD tends to call into grandparents / auntie for dinner then comes home to sleep. She doesn’t want to sleep at grandparents. I trust them both.

Why not? There is an adult there.

I was married with a baby at 19...

I think it would be absolutely fine. I looked after my siblings home alone at that age.

I went away for 1 night and left my sensible 16yo at home. He invited 3 friends over - they told this friend who told another 'friend' there was a rave at my house all weekend. Some AH brought a kilo of coke wtaf.

My sensible 16yo had not a clue what to do. Didn't tell me or call the police. Some AHs stole stuff (about £10k inc my dead husbands jade ring - irreplaceable) and put 100yo windows through.

I learnt my lesson. A bit fat no from me. It's not your dcs but the AHs their friends know!

We lived in a lovely house in a lovely neighbourhood. (Think £m houses) The AHs all came from a very small town in Warwickshire a place people aspire to live - rich.... yes... rich.. but big drugs prob.

If the dc are happy with it then go for it.

We left our 3 girls (aged 20, 17 and 10) in November last year for 4 nights and they were absolutely fine and enjoyed the freedom.

It was actually the older girls’ suggestion that we go as they said we deserved a few days away and they’d happily watch their little sister.

I would if all 3 kids are happy with it, the 13 year old wouldn't play up and the 19 year old was happy to take on a parental responsible role for a few days. And like a pp said, a low likelihood of any parties.

I think these things depend like so many other things in life on the character of those involved.

Definitely do this. It will be character building for all of them. My parents had never been away on their own until they left me (10) and younger sibling (5) for three nights to be looked after by older sibling (16 and super sensible) while they went on a trip to London. DS (5) had a raging cold by the time they went but it had been all booked and paid for so they went anyway. This was 40 years ago. We all lived. No grandparents popped in. No takeawys were bought. No money was left. No mobile phones. I think they phoned a couple of times during the weekend. Nobody thought anything of it. My mum had been used to looking after her younger siblings on her own from the age of nine! If you and the kids feel happy and confident with the arrangement, it will be fine. We need to give our children more autonomy, more responsibility and more adventure and from younger ages (obviously age appropriate) if we are to build resilient adults.

This. If you can’t trust 19 year old with that, then grandparents it is.