Leaving kids home alone for 5 days?

@SouthLondonMum22 "I mean, if the younger siblings are so responsible and so mature and perfectly behaved then what does OP need her eldest for?"

To deal with stuff that might go wrong in quite a minor way that might throw a younger person. A power cut, for example. A dropped jar of mayonnaise. (Both things that happened to my kids in similar circumstances.)

Me too and at 20 I had my own home and child .

Well the level of keeness hasn't been clarified.
It's only 4 nights. In all probability it'll be fine. I know some people on here baulk at the idea, but I personally can't see an issue. 🙍

Some of the people on here are really surprising! At 16 I regularly baby sat for days on end my brother who was 11 and sister who was 14. I'd cook them dinner each night too and keep the house afloat- no takeaway money left from mum like OP plans to do! Your oldest daughter is an adult. Of course she can look after her sister in her own home for a few days!

A few days is different to almost a week. I'd agree with you if we were talking about just an overnight or a weekend, though I'd probably still offer to pay if the oldest wasn't overly keen.

I think because they're still technically minors and it may give her peace of mind to have the 20 year old there, one would imagine. Ask her?
Just in case.
Mine sometimes stayed in for a few days when they came home from uni. They often didn't have a job lined up straight away and just liked to chill.
It was always nice. Like I said - it's obvious that families vary a great deal. Hers sounds great.

PS I definitely wouldn't have paid my eldest as that would have altered the dynamics between her and her brother in ways that could have gone downhill

I imagine because at 20, she wouldn't ordinarily stay in for 5 days during the holiday and no matter how responsible, mature and perfect these younger siblings seem to be, it is a big ask to be solely in charge of them for almost a week. They could potentially also behave slightly differently with no parents around.

I mean, if the younger siblings are so responsible and so mature and perfectly behaved then what does OP need her eldest for?

From what you've said about your plans and your DCs and their relationship, I think you'll be fine OP. To avoid friction developing though, I'd tell the younger ones that the 20 yr old is in charge but quietly I'd take her to one side and suggest she doesn't try and pull rank on the others unless it's a serious safety issue. I'd encourage her to feel she can go to the GPs for any back-up she needs and not to feel responsible for 13 & 16 yr old's food, not staying up all night etc. None of that matters for 5 days and I'm sure they'll enjoy a bit of freedom and independence.

Well I don't see why a 20 year old should be paid to stay at home. The OP has said how responsible and mature the siblings are. She's probably going to read her book and drink hot chocolate, as the OP says!
That would be easy money, though 😁
Mine did this sort of thing as a favour, be we did all get on really well and they never seemed to fall out with each other. They got on well. They managed just fine.

No matter how responsible and sensible both younger siblings may be, they are still 16 and 13 and I imagine are annoying sometimes to an older sibling and again obviously not responsible and sensible enough to be left to their own devices.

I'd consider it to be a massive favour, I imagine spending 5 days of her holidays being responsible for a 16 and 13 year old isn't going to be at the top of her list of preferences to spend her time which is fair enough so I'd pay her.

Right. Will someone please explain to me clearly and in words of as few syllables as possible what disasters might happen that a capable 19 year old would be incapable of dealing with?

I think your point is spot on - infantilising late teens and young adults is very problematic now. Pps have noted at 20 they were married with their own baby, now some people are concerned that a 20 year old sibling can't supervise a sensible 13 year old.

Yes, it's a favour - not massive, imo. The daughter is 20 and away at uni normally, the 13 year old is responsible and sensible. It's not a huge deal. Just what good families do for each other.
However. Obviously, not all families are the same.

It's true that it's standard for some families but I don't agree with it, especially standard for 5 days.

I think 5 days is a massive favour.

Of course you're not shit parents, op.

I am regularly gobsmacked by the way MNetters infantilise their teenage and young adult children, well into their twenties sometimes.

I think the only reasonable concern might be that they'd have a party, and you say that wouldn't be in character. You might just want to warn the younger two not to broadcast the fact that you are away.

I tried this, same ages but one night. Sadly for me the 19 year old and 13 year old argued horrifically and the 16 year old was playing peace keeper. Never again.

The older two fine. Youngest not so much!

If your kids get along ok it would be fine in my opinion, only you know your kids.

Sorry, posted twice about the same thing.

Too much? It's part of parenting to get them prepared for independence and get life skills.
Plus - I'm sure they could get a ready meal or Deliveroo if necessary! They're not early teens or primary.
Plus the eldest is at uni.

Too much? The 20 year old is at university. The others are reliable and responsible.

You are doing your kids a serious disservice @RubyRedBow if your 13 year old couldn't sort themselves food out especially when there's an adult in the house

One night - Maybe.
Any longer and it would be no way because of the 13 year old.

It’s too much for them to be cooking and looking after themselves for 5 days.

You're most certainly not shit parents! Leave them - they sound sensible and reliable and will know what to do should there be an emergency. Your 20 year old daughter sounds more than capable, and no doubt will have a pleasant time at home, reading her books and drinking hot chocolate! Go for it 👍

So many differing opinions, maybe we are just shit parents to even consider this

Please, don't martyr yourself because there are parents on here that coddle their children until they are literally full grown adults.

This isn't the 90s. They have mobile phones, are contactable at a second's notice and you can even track them on said phones if you think it necessary. Ditto for them.

So long as they make sure they lock up if they go out, turn off the stove if they use it, and don't wreck the house, then happy days. Go and enjoy yourself.