Leaving kids home alone for 5 days?

I am sure that if the 13 year old needed emergency hospital treatment, the mother would be returning to the UK. This would also happen when on a school trip/if the mother is away with work/etc...

What happened yo the world?
If they are normal young people it shouldn't be a question.

You still need to ensure someone has written authority to consent to medical treatment.

And you need to consider, what if something happened that meant the 13 year old had to go to hospital on the first night? Would they be ok to wait another 3 days if you can't get back? That's not infantilising them, it's recognising they're still a child and might need their mother.

For me I'd go in the UK with a car but I still wouldn't go abroad for another few years.

Also interesting I think what a difference there seems in leaving a 20 yo in charge than a 19 yo. What a difference a day makes!

Oh I so agree with this. What you read on here sometimes is shocking. It wasn’t like this when we were
growing up!

Absolutely as long as sensible

Maybe this is for another thread but I really think our generation wilk bear the responsibility for this. We have collectively infantilised young adults and it is so odd to think we have created a whole generation of immature, unprepared, dependent adults who are not ready to live independently.

No wonder they will then not feel ready for chuldren at 30. It's scary. I am very guilty of this too in my own way but we should collectively reflect on this as a society.

I am honestly God smacked at the "check the legality" comment. At 19 I had a baby and a house that I lived in by myself with no support. Tough, but I managed.
This is a 20 year old being at home with a 16 and 13 year old for 4 nights.
They will have takeaway money and grandparents available. Presumably they all have phones and are contactable immediately.
I am baffled as to why people think this is too much for a 20 year old.
We are raising a generation of anxiety riddled, dependant young adults because they aren't allowed to find their own feet.
It's like the definition of adult has changed dramatically in the last ten to fifteen years.
If your child is 20 and has no sen and couldn't cope with this I think you need to seriously reflect on why

No. Which is why I'm wondering why it's necessary for the oldest one to be officially put in charge if they are all going to be coming and going as they please anyway and largely spending time apart with their friends.

In that case, I wouldn't pay the oldest one.

I wouldn't imagine that a 16 and 13 year old will be staying in for the 5 days. I would imagine they will do what they normally do during holidays. You know meet up with friends, go to the gym, go for coffee, lunch or just a wander round the shops why do you think they are all going to be sat in all day and all night?

I think if you are asking your eldest to look after the younger two you ought to pay her. Otherwise it's probably fine.

The 20 year old is at uni. She looks after herself every day. If a 13 year old and a 16 year old couldn't manage for 4 nights with the support of their adult sibling something is very wrong.

I mean the fact that OP is asking in the first place means that they will be in charge, say yes/no to things, will be who they look to if something happens like your examples or even in an emergency like a fire or an accident, would have to deal with them squabbling if that was to happen etc.

All the responsibility because the parents wouldn't be there.

I'm not saying a 19/20 year old can't handle it, of course they can at that age but it is more responsibility than she will usually have because she obviously isn't their parent.

That's a reason why I'd pay her.

@SouthLondonMum2 What do you mean by "all the responsibility"? Can you give some examples?

Just ignore what other people have to say and you do what feels right for you and your family. At the end of the day, not many years ago, people left school at 16 and went to work, they often left home and lived with friends etc. if parents today don’t think a 20 year old is capable of looking after two teenagers for a few days, they are deluded and definitely mollycoddling their children! Not sure what they’d do if their 20 year old came home pregnant?

You get many threads where posters from large families hated being the older sibling expected to look after the younger ones.

If this isn’t going to be a regular occurrence and your eldest is happy to do it, and they all get on and youngest will be happy to take orders from eldest then should be okay.

Posters who are giving examples of how they frequently had to look after younger siblings including cooking for them is not really a good example of family life. Siblings should not have to be responsible for younger siblings in that way, that is the parent’s responsibility

@PinkPinkPinkBlue get it booked!! The kids will be just fine. Have the best time.

OP, I was left at home for 4 days when I was a few days short of 19, with my 17 year old sister, 14 year old brother and 10 year old brother. It was totally fine.
I was also left at home age 18 with my 16 year old sister, for 2 weeks (we had summer jobs and didn't want to go on the holiday my parents had planned for our younger brothers).
If a grown-up can't be responsible for a house and a couple of younger kids for a few days, it's a bit of a depressing thought.

Then I go back to my earlier point of why is she needed then?

If the 16 & 13 year old are mature enough to be left alone whilst OP works all day, goes out/stays in as she chooses and they are so mature and responsible then I don't know why the older sibling is officially needed. She can just be there when she wants to be, go out as she pleases etc and that's that.

I wouldn't really consider that as taking full responsibility for them.

No because she wouldn't be expected to have all of the responsbility if I was at home. She also wouldn't be expected to stay at home.

I wouldn't pay £200, I'd pay about £100 for almost a week.

I imagine because at 20, she wouldn't ordinarily stay in for 5 days during the holiday

Why would she have to stay in?

What normally happens in school holidays? Does OP stay in every day with her 16 yo and 13 yo?

Or does she go to work, or otherwise go out or stay in as she chooses, while the 2 dc do their thing?

Mine wouldn't take money for keeping an eye on things - but I'd always make sure there was plenty of food in the house, stuff they liked. Plus money for KFC or whatever. It was fairly easy for them, anyway.

But 200 quid just in case she had to clear up a smashed jar of mayonnaise? Would you pay her if you happened to be home when that happened but she helped the younger one clear it up? All part of the give and take of family life. IMHO.

Well, exactly. It isn't no big deal, it's definitely taking on some responsibility and 16 & 13 year olds are still 16 & 13 no matter how mature and responsible they may be.

I'm not against it if the oldest sibling wants to do it but it isn't nothing/no big deal/standard etc to take that responsibility for just short of a week.

To be fair, I think it's fine as long as she actually wants to do it.

The only difference is that I'd pay her because I do think it's going the extra mile to take on responsibility of 2 younger siblings for almost a week.

Leaving a 13 year old in the care of older siblings is a bit much, I think.
Can she stay with grandparents? Might be better for them, too, less to-ing and fro-ing?