Leaving kids home alone for 5 days?

How does the 13yo feel about it. I was about 14 when my mum started going away and leaving me on my own about once a year. The first time my older sibling was supposed to be looking after me, but they spent most of the time at their boyfriend’s place and were horrible to me when they were around (we did not get on back then!).

I absolutely hated it. I was really lonely and worried the whole time. It was also the school holidays so I had very little human interaction for that week. But I didn’t feel I could object because it was clear my mum needed the holiday (single parent with dad not in picture at all).

So I’d completely go with what the 13yo wants/ is comfortable with (regardless of how responsible or liked the older siblings are)

Mine are the same age and we'll be leaving them alone for 4 nights at Easter. GP's are local same as you and dd19 is very sensible.

Because in Mumsnet a 13 year old may as well be a 3 year old sometimes.

Yes, if oldest was happy to be the responsible adult, and I would pay her!

In terms of ds becoming nocturnal, does it really matter for a few days? If he’s about to sit GCSEs and you’re planning to go in May half term maybe but otherwise the odd binge won’t hurt!

Depends entirely on the personalities involved. Some 13 yo are really mature and some are still like little children. Some 16 yos are chilled out and get along with younger siblings, some would cause ww3. When I was 19 I absolutely had huge house parties every time my parents left me alone, even when my younger siblings were there. So if I had a child like me, no I wouldn’t do it. But you know your kids better than anyone else.

Surely you're not serious. Oh yes, you probably are...

I would. And have a great trip!

Personally I wouldn't want to be in another city wondering if my 13 year old remembered to turn the gas off after warming spaghetti hoops. If you would have no such worries about your child then that's great. It's hardly shocking though?

They aren't kids. One is an adult who could be living away from the next with children of their own by now. They should be well able to hold things together for a few days, without needing to be paid or left long lists of instructions. If there's an emergency I'm sure they can work out how to use their phone to ring the emergency services. In fact, I'm sure the 13 year old can cope with that as well. If there's a problem they need advice on their grandparents are available for a chat.

Honestly, I see so many young people entering the workplace lacking independence and resilience. Threads like this demonstrate one of the reasons why. Cut the fuckin' apron strings people.

Why not just take the children if you can afford it? Won't they be a bit jealous of you?

I was a very straight and narrow teen. When I was 18 and my sibling was 12 I took care of my sister for a week. My parents not only went abroad, they went to a remote spot where they were extremely difficult to contact.

At that point we had changed their will so if anything happened to them I took custody of my sibling. I was an adult, even if I was young. I didn’t really think anything of it.

Not if the oldest goes out and stays out overnight with friends it isn't.

TBH your eldest sounds sensible and if they are happy to look after their siblings you should go...

That first time away when it's just your DC left home is always a bit of a worry.

Enjoy your break.

Yes, but 19 year old would be in charge and should probably be paid for babysitting to keep the hierarchy clear. Would also have GP’s popping in at unscheduled times, to keep everyone honest 😂

What does your 19 year old think about this?

If the younger siblings cook the 19 year old would need to supervise

A 19 year should supervise a 16 and 13 year old cooking? Wtf?!

I’d do a one night practice first.

I'd leave the older two but make arrangements for the younger one.

I would absolutely go. All three of them will be fine.

Personally I wouldn't.

DH and I often go away without kids. 4 nights is a long time for them to be left if you have never done it before. Maybe try two nights in this country where you can get home quickly if needed.

At 16 and 13 I would be sending them to stay at grandparents. It is also easier for GP than having to go back and to to check.

We're away soon and DC is almost 16 and will be at friends or grandparents. DC18 can please himself but no groups of friends over or parties

The only thing I would be clear about is what the eldest should do in an emergency. I would imagine the grandparents but best be clear with her.
If you haven't already, I'd get a keysafe. Once all 3 of mine managed to leave the house without keys, assuming that either one of the others would have one, or they were still inside!

Because people on mumsnet are lunatics. A lot of people here wouldn't let a 13 year old walk to school.

We did this last year for the first time which dc exactly those ages (though 3 nights abroad and nearest relative 30 mins away). It was fine.

Yes I would and indeed did!

I absolutely disagree with paying the oldest to "look after" the others. It will make a completely different dynamic. Leave them some fun money, of course. But it's not baby sitting-it's siblings hanging out together.