Five years ago my Dad (separated form Mum) had a stroke, my sister (who lives 2 hours away) initially came down and quite forcefully insisted she speak with everyone involved in care, started clearing out his house, start making arrangements for when he was discharged etc, no issues there I had a baby and job I was happy of the help. Then suddenly a month later with no warning she decided she no longer wanted a relationship with him, didn't want any updates on his condition and she didn’t want him to know about her recently announced pregnancy and if anyone (care givers, family, hospital etc) asked me why I was to tell them to mind their business, she didn’t even tell them (or me initially) just stopped responding until they got the hint and contacted me. In anger I asked her if I should tell he when she died and she said "no, why would I want to know"
This left me in the soup as some of the arrangements she had made for his care were unsustainable (in hindsight she hadn't done a good job but was very controlling and refused to organise anything together it was very all or nothing) so I had to make other arrangements explain to people why they need to contact me as she was just refusing to communicate with anyone, it was all so odd but she refused to elaborate further.
We muddled through fine and Dad made a good recovery, it was awkward for me though, for example a few years later she was going to attend DD's birthday party with her DC (she knew Dad was going to too and that he didn’t know her DC existed) and apparently was going let him learn that she had a child in our local village hall in front of 30 other people - her plan was to avoid him and tell anyone who questioned it to mind their own business?? I put my foot down and said she must tell him or not come as I didn't want a scene, she did call him and tell him but it was still very awkward and odd.
It's also come to light that she started telling really strange lies, one was that he wasn’t her biological Dad, I've no idea where this come from or what she thought it would achieve and she obviously forgot the ancestry DNA tests we all did years ago that clearly show he is our Dad. She has also claimed he borrowed thousands of pounds and never paid it back, again this is totally untrue having previously borrowed from him and despite refusing to have any contact would accept birthday and Christmas cards with money in for years before Dad got the hint.
Since then nearly every time I spent time with her, she has brought up Dad and how she's confident in her decision and she has no issues explaining to her child they have a grandad but they'll never meet him. It's really odd as I would never bring it up as I don’t see the point after all this time and I'm always left wondering how the conversation went that way, the last time I snapped and said "why do keep bringing this up, what do you want me to say?" but again she wouldn't elaborate.
A month ago Dad had another stroke and unfortunately wasn’t found for a few hours so the long term prognosis of isn't as good as last time, we had to call my Mum to look after DD and she called my sister and told her - no issues there at all, but now she is texting me every day to ask for updates - which I duly provide. I would never refuse to keep her updated its still her Dad but a petty part of me really begrudges it - she's made it clear she still doesn’t want any relationship with him why does she need daily updates on his condition?
Im being a bitch arent I?