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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be devastated about this minor thing...

311 replies

Ninerina · 13/02/2025 09:51

I went to a book club last night- all fine, enjoyed it- and they asked me who I live with and I said my husband and my son and they asked how old he is and when I said his age there were no gasps, no look of shock, just nods
I have always always always been told I don't look my age but now people just nod. What is this hell?!
I'm 55 and my son is 29.
Up until I turned 53 people would say I didn't look my age
I know it's not a big deal really but couldn't they have pretended to look shocked?
It's not a big ask is it?
So upset

OP posts:
BlondiePortz · 14/02/2025 08:06

Why on earth would they look shocked?

31stJune1973 · 14/02/2025 08:02

Nonrienderien · 13/02/2025 17:17

A worthwhile quote & one to remember. Thanks for sharing 😊

Show quote history

It's not a worthwhile quote, though. It's utter bollocks, like most quotes that are bandied around on the internet. What other people think of you is very much your business in most important areas of life - your job can hang on it, your relationship, your family life, your professional reputation.

Unless you live alone on a remote island somewhere, what other people think of you will affect your life all the time.

Hurumph · 14/02/2025 05:55

I had a very similar conversation yesterday.
Nobody NOBODY is surprised when I tell them I’m 50, people used to fall off their chairs when I was 40.
The last decade has not been kind.

Strawberryorangejuice · 14/02/2025 04:46

I stopped getting ID'd in Sainsbury at around 38. I had got so used to ie, despite having three children. Age hit me then and I do sometimes look back longingly for that time!

Nettleteaser101 · 14/02/2025 04:43

Oh and everyone of my brothers and sisters look younger than their years. Must be a gene thing.

SnowFrogJelly · 14/02/2025 01:04

Itisbetter · 13/02/2025 10:03

Don’t be ridiculous. They probably have children the same age and think nothing of it.

This

YABVU

Normallynumb · 14/02/2025 00:41

Ok so you're 55? It's better than the alternative.
I'm 60, told I look younger, but I'm not interested what people think
I'm guessing People didn't comment because they thought it either
Impolite or irrelevant

SixtySomething · 14/02/2025 00:03

Ninerina · 13/02/2025 09:51

I went to a book club last night- all fine, enjoyed it- and they asked me who I live with and I said my husband and my son and they asked how old he is and when I said his age there were no gasps, no look of shock, just nods
I have always always always been told I don't look my age but now people just nod. What is this hell?!
I'm 55 and my son is 29.
Up until I turned 53 people would say I didn't look my age
I know it's not a big deal really but couldn't they have pretended to look shocked?
It's not a big ask is it?
So upset

I now what you mean here, because the same thing has happened to me with regards to people no longer saying that I don't look my age.
I don't know why it suddenly stops but, sorry, I do think it's an extraordinary thing to post about.

Nonrienderien · 13/02/2025 23:33

People haven't a clue. Try getting dismissed as a child in the workplace when your in charge. Try getting refused into clubs on a night out when your the older one in the group.Try getting accused of being your Dh daughter. Try getting laughed at in the face of women your own age then ending up shying away from mixing with them. Try all that then say it's fantasy & there are women who thrive on being obsessed with looking young. Try living a day in the life of those whose genetics have given them younger looks than their age including those over 50/60 then you can appreciate what it's really like.

ForZanyAquaViewer · 13/02/2025 23:28

LadysMantle · 13/02/2025 22:46

All I have to go on is what you’ve said.

Show quote history

Nothing she’s said indicates she’s made looking younger a plank of her identity.

LadysMantle · 13/02/2025 22:46

Didimum · 13/02/2025 22:21

Gosh. Deducing someone’s entire ethos, mentality and self worth from three paragraphs on a thread. Bravo.

Show quote history

All I have to go on is what you’ve said.

Didimum · 13/02/2025 22:21

LadysMantle · 13/02/2025 21:48

It’s not that you look younger that irritates people, it’s that you’re so pathetically proud of it that you seem to have made it a plank of your identity.

Show quote history

Gosh. Deducing someone’s entire ethos, mentality and self worth from three paragraphs on a thread. Bravo.

LadysMantle · 13/02/2025 21:48

Didimum · 13/02/2025 21:30

Don’t worry, OP, I get you. I am very baby faced and still get IDd at the supermarket 9/10 (I’m 39). People on MN go absolutely nuts with rage about that and have insisted I (and other posters saying the same) are barefaced lying. They don’t like it. Who knows why.

When my time ends, I will be a little disappointed to leave it behind me.

It’s almost as if that looking youthful is intrinsically linked to our value as women and we have been conditioned since toddlerhood to understand this 🙄 Who woulda thunk?

It’s not that you look younger that irritates people, it’s that you’re so pathetically proud of it that you seem to have made it a plank of your identity.

Didimum · 13/02/2025 21:30

Don’t worry, OP, I get you. I am very baby faced and still get IDd at the supermarket 9/10 (I’m 39). People on MN go absolutely nuts with rage about that and have insisted I (and other posters saying the same) are barefaced lying. They don’t like it. Who knows why.

When my time ends, I will be a little disappointed to leave it behind me.

It’s almost as if that looking youthful is intrinsically linked to our value as women and we have been conditioned since toddlerhood to understand this 🙄 Who woulda thunk?

IlooklikeNigella · 13/02/2025 21:02

It reminds me of a time I really put my foot in it the other way.

There was a woman I was dealing with on a work related matter when she mentioned the age of her daughter. I did the big gasp you described OP and asked how that was possible, she must have had her at 12. "I was 15" she said VERY icily before changing the subject. I never ever commented like that again.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 13/02/2025 20:55

Apologies, I misread your post. You said one person said it! (Sorry!) Blush

purpleme12 · 13/02/2025 20:53

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 13/02/2025 20:45

Why do you tell so many people your age? I have lived in the village I live in now for over a decade. Only a couple of people know my age. Confused

Edited
Show quote history

Erm I really don't think I tell my age to more people than usual 🤣🤣

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 13/02/2025 20:45

purpleme12 · 13/02/2025 20:07

I am someone who was always told I looked far younger than I am and wouldn't believed that I was my actual age

But this thread did hit weird with me still

Edited

Why do you tell so many people your age? I have lived in the village I live in now for over a decade. Only a couple of people know my age. Confused

Original poster
Ninerina · 13/02/2025 20:15

Heronwatcher · 13/02/2025 13:10

Have you watched Joanna Lumley in Amandaland/ Motherland OP?

I bloody love Motherland and Amandaland and I've roped my husband into watching it too
We watch it on a loop it's the best thing ever and we both love Anne the best
Tho I still miss Kevin and Liz
Joanna Lumley is so fab in it too

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 13/02/2025 20:07

I am someone who was always told I looked far younger than I am and wouldn't believed that I was my actual age

But this thread did hit weird with me still

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 13/02/2025 20:00

Grapewrath · 13/02/2025 20:00

I often get told I don’t look old enough to have adult children. I definitely do.
People say things like that to be nice or to stop the conversation being awkward

True. A lot of people are full of shit.

Grapewrath · 13/02/2025 20:00

I often get told I don’t look old enough to have adult children. I definitely do.
People say things like that to be nice or to stop the conversation being awkward

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 13/02/2025 19:57

You're 55 @Ninerina so of course you look like a woman in your 50s. Why wouldn't you?!

And of course you look old enough to have a son of nearly 30. Confused I am surprised that you are so affronted that someone is not shocked you have a son of nearly 30. Do you look 33 in your head?

,

Nonrienderien · 13/02/2025 17:17

LostMyLanyard · 13/02/2025 15:30

I was once given a very sage piece of advice: 'what other people think of you is none of your business'.

You'd be in a healthier place OP if you remembered this.

A worthwhile quote & one to remember. Thanks for sharing 😊

mathanxiety · 13/02/2025 17:03

When Gladiator II came out I fully expected it to be set in a book club.

Book clubs are not for the faint of heart.