To be devastated about this minor thing...

DS (then 8) was in hospital last year. I was asked if I'm mum or grandma 😱😫. Also I now have a new colleague who is younger than my oldest DC 😫

It is, but it can also be medical. I'll probably never have wrinkles.

My mother was one of those women who could be mistaken for 15 yrs & more younger all her life. She had to be persuaded to wear makeup & had little grey hair when she died into very old age. It's genetic.

It really doesn't matter that much. If you're alive, you're in relatively good health, that's what matters. I'd rather look older and be healthy than the other way around.

This exactly.
Most women in their 50’s don’t look like 30 year olds.
Any more than a 25 yr old looks 15.

I assumed given the topic the quote was referring to how people perceive your face ie how young or old you look for your age,or if you appear too young to have children of a certain age. I find the quote helpful. In fact I'm keeping it in mind when asked my children's age in future rather than go into a full explanation of we had our first soon after leaving uni when I get the usual side look & 'never' comments. I'll now hold my head up & think it's none of my business what you think of how I look so think what you like 😁

Lol. Also 55. Felt much the same recently when for the first time I was asked if my 34 year old daughter was my daughter. Up till now strangers have referenced her to me as 'your friend'. Take heart OP. You could have a 29 year old and be well under 50. Some people would think it ruder to draw attention to you possibly being a teen mum than to say nothing.

I went to a school event with a friend and there was a photographer there trying to promote family photos. She asked if I wanted a ‘mother-daughter’ picture. As she didn’t know if either of us had daughters she obv thought one of us was the other’s mother - we’re the same age!!!!

There was a polite laugh and “we’ll have to have a think” while moving off quickly etc. then it was never spoken of again! 😥

Yes YABVU. Ageing is a privilege. Get a grip.

My mum is 57 and I'm 35, I wouldn't be shocked that you have a 29 year old either, a lot of time people saying you look younger are probably just trying to be kind, I hate being told that because it feels false somehow and I see myself everyday and know I look my age but I've had people saying I look like my 16 year olds older sister which I call out as complete crap 😂

My book club isn't any of those things.
I wouldn't go if it was, they're not compulsory.

I feel your pain OP. I was asking about the cost of membership at my local independent cinema the other day and they said "you're not over 60 by any chance?" I'm actually 66 but so many people have persuaded me that I look much younger that I've become entirely deluded about how old I look. It was a much-needed wake up call.

Your value isn't in how you look op

Book clubs are well known for being toxic. Cliquey, bitchy, intellectual-put downs, competitive snack provision and now… age related body shaming.

When oh when will women learn to stand together and support each other?

I suppose it is all in the context, they probably didn't say, 'who do you live with? how old is your son?' and it was more like this...

Hi Maude, lovely to see you. We were just talking about the Yellowstone finale, did you watch it?
No, gutted - my husband wanted to watch the football which was on at the same time.
Oh I never realised you were married, is it just the two of you at home then?
Us and our son, Jeremy. And his pet iguana, Malcolm.
Is Jeremy still at school? You'll be wanting him to move that iguana out when he goes.
No, he's 29, probably never leaving as the rents are so high and no landlords will accept a pet.
Bloody hell Maude, did I hear you right? There's no way you can have a son that age, you don't look a day over 35!

I wouldn’t call “who do you live with?” friendly small talk! It just sounds a bit…odd.

It's hardly that intrusive is it? I wouldn't call a bit of friendly small talk 'prying' or 'demanding to know'.

My biggest problem wouldn’t be the lack of “you can’t possibly……!!!”, it would be the intrusive nature of
they asked me who I live with and I said my husband and my son and they asked how old he is.
I’ve been part of a music group for several years, now, and we all get on, very convivial etc., but we certainly don’t pry into each others lives and any personal info has been gleaned over a long period, by people occasionally mentioning family, birthdays etc. I wouldn’t be going back to a book club where participants were demanding to know who I lived with!

The truth is we can escape aging and even those who are blessed to age well never look younger than 10 years - so for you the youngest you can really look is 45 a bit of a stretch to have a 29 year old but just about doable.

an awful lot of wow you look younger is false flattery

but yes I think aging hits pretty hard mid 40s onwards

When the IDing stopped I told myself I had a very good innings. I like how I look regardless and aging was always coming in the end.

I was IDed in supermarkets until I was 38. On a few occasions it was all fun and flattery until the bastards actually refused to sell me the wine.

Try going clubbing OP. Times have changed since I went raving every week and mandatory ID is now de rigueur everywhere no matter what you look like. A couple of months ago I went out with a friend who's a 43-year-old mum-of-two and they nearly didn't let her in the club (she showed the security guy pictures of her kids and said NOW do you believe me and he relented).

I'd just nod and not be shocked because, when I'm your age, I'll have a 36 year old. So a person my age having a 29 year old seems like an older mother to me anyway, relatively speaking. I suppose that means you'd have to be even more shocked with me?