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Original poster

To be devastated about this minor thing...

311 replies

Ninerina · 13/02/2025 09:51

I went to a book club last night- all fine, enjoyed it- and they asked me who I live with and I said my husband and my son and they asked how old he is and when I said his age there were no gasps, no look of shock, just nods
I have always always always been told I don't look my age but now people just nod. What is this hell?!
I'm 55 and my son is 29.
Up until I turned 53 people would say I didn't look my age
I know it's not a big deal really but couldn't they have pretended to look shocked?
It's not a big ask is it?
So upset

OP posts:
WhatTheKey · 13/02/2025 10:34

I had a DC when I was young and had a long period in my 30s where people were shocked I had a teenager. I was mistaken for his sister a few times (which I always thought felt really weird.) Like you, somehow people stopped being shocked.
I look my age, and I am really privileged to have reached this age, and that both me and my DC are healthy. Age isn't something to be ashamed of. You should own it, it's a brilliant thing to be getting older and there are many positives to it!

BadgersGalore · 13/02/2025 10:33

@Ninerina I am one of your people! 🙋‍♀️

I am 52 and my son is 35. I've always received people's surprise at his age very smugly and basked in the warm glow of my shocking youngness. But this week I told someone and nothing. Not a word. I can only blame the fact that I was not wearing makeup and I haven't had a period for 6 months. Sad

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 13/02/2025 10:33

I don’t really understand why you were upset. Were you hoping/expecting them to say, ‘Oh, you don’t look old enough to have a 29 year old son!’

NigelHarmansNewWife · 13/02/2025 10:33

festivemouse · 13/02/2025 10:09

😂

You'd love me - I'm always super shocked when my colleagues have fully adult children, regardless of my colleagues age!

Me too - I just never think about it unless they mention them.

On the plus side OP no one commented on your nearly 30 year old son still living with mum and dad.

Carsitting · 13/02/2025 10:32

Yeah the older you get, the closer you get to looking your age 😁

You need to start thinking like a man. I’ve met loads of men who look well older than they are, yet happily proclaim how they look so great and young for their age. They have managed to maintain this self-delusion with no positive feedback from anyone ever. Think like a man. OP!

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 13/02/2025 10:31

I get "offended" when I don't get ID'd buying alcohol.

I'm 36! 🤣

BMW6 · 13/02/2025 10:28

Honestly OP there will come a time when you actually look your age.

Better get used to the reality of it and accept it as part of life for your own sake.

xRobin · 13/02/2025 10:28

Season0fthesticks · 13/02/2025 10:25

I'm 31 tomorrow and have been asked for ID for Redbull (you have to be 16) 🙃 and yes they were deadly serious
And it hasn't just happened the once
I've been refused alcohol ffs

Show quote history

I was asked for ID trying to buy paracetamol in Aldi at 30 and again last year at 31 for trying to buy paracetamol in Morrison’s 😅 I’m now 32 and have not been asked for ID in a while 😂

Literallynoonecares · 13/02/2025 10:28

What monsters!!! LTB (Leave the Book Club) as fast as you can!! 😆🙃😂

Tagyoureit · 13/02/2025 10:25

It's like using the self service tills to buy wine and the store assistant just presses the "visibly over 25" button!!

I know I'm 44 but it still stings a bit!!

🤣

Season0fthesticks · 13/02/2025 10:25

BLUEcups · 13/02/2025 10:15

99% of people look their age give it take a few years. No 35 year old looks 21
despite what the headlines may say “I’m 35 and I get mistaken for a school girl when I get on the bus”!

You had your son at 26 so completely normal age. Had you had him when you were 16 and he was 39 then people would no doubt still gasp.

YABU 🤣

I'm 31 tomorrow and have been asked for ID for Redbull (you have to be 16) 🙃 and yes they were deadly serious
And it hasn't just happened the once
I've been refused alcohol ffs

Cakeandusername · 13/02/2025 10:24

I honestly give virtually no thought to someone’s age most of time. Occasionally something will be said and I think gosh I didn’t know they were that age but it’s pretty rare.

ForZanyAquaViewer · 13/02/2025 10:21

Ninerina · 13/02/2025 10:15

Yes I'm joking!
Sort of
But a part of me does feel sad about it obviously
I mean, I even did a dramatic pause waiting for their reaction which didn't happen 🙃
Anyway it sounds like the majority of you are not my people
My people would understand what I'm saying and commiserate with me

You have my sympathies! I have to tell the Uber Eats delivery person my DOB when we get an order with wine in it. They are usually astonished. On the occasions when they aren’t, I’m deeply offended. 🥹

Menopants · 13/02/2025 10:20

Whatever you do op don’t post a photo . You will get the usuals piling in to tell you that you look 83

Sevenamcoffee · 13/02/2025 10:20

It probably actually is a bit rude to comment on age and looks if you don’t know someone, even if positively. Maybe they were just of this kind of mindset.

theemmadilemma · 13/02/2025 10:20

OP, I laughed.

theemmadilemma · 13/02/2025 10:19

17to35 · 13/02/2025 10:00

It's the menopause

This. I was very used to the 'you don't look your age', but meno seems to have halted that. 😫

Endofyear · 13/02/2025 10:19

So you're 55 and you look 55? I don't see the problem 🤷

Cakeandusername · 13/02/2025 10:18

So you look old enough to have a 29 year old son? I really don’t see what issue is.
The members sound polite and friendly a little chit chat and then on to the book.
I wouldn’t expect anyone to gasp oh you don’t look old enough to have a 29 year old. You may have had him as young teen, he may be your step son etc. I also wouldn’t expect strangers to start questioning why he still lived with you. It’s nosy and potentially opening a can of worms.

Original poster
Ninerina · 13/02/2025 10:15

Yes I'm joking!
Sort of
But a part of me does feel sad about it obviously
I mean, I even did a dramatic pause waiting for their reaction which didn't happen 🙃
Anyway it sounds like the majority of you are not my people
My people would understand what I'm saying and commiserate with me

OP posts:
BLUEcups · 13/02/2025 10:15

99% of people look their age give it take a few years. No 35 year old looks 21
despite what the headlines may say “I’m 35 and I get mistaken for a school girl when I get on the bus”!

You had your son at 26 so completely normal age. Had you had him when you were 16 and he was 39 then people would no doubt still gasp.

YABU 🤣

LadysMantle · 13/02/2025 10:14

Savemefromwetdog · 13/02/2025 10:13

OP says her 7 year old stepson thinks she looks 38 on another thread; it’s obviously a bit of a fixation

Ah, OK.

LadysMantle · 13/02/2025 10:13

I mean, I’m 52 with a 12 year old. I probably look exactly my age, but I can’t say I’ve given it much thought. I quite like what I look like, but whether I may look younger than I am doesn’t really feature in my thought processes.

Savemefromwetdog · 13/02/2025 10:13

OP says her 7 year old stepson thinks she looks 38 on another thread; it’s obviously a bit of a fixation

LadysMantle · 13/02/2025 10:12

You’re joking, right?