A reset weekend for me and my teenage son 🥹

I was going to say new forest too. I went during one of the breaks in lockdown, and just seeing horses around in the mist was magical.
I don’t have any recommendations of where to go specifically. But definitely think about new forest as a general starting point.

When I planned a holiday with my teenage son I did some mind map type stuff. So I wrote first a few words like 'city' 'beach' 'mountains' 'countryside' on the paper and talked about which one(s) he'd like - he chose city and beach. Then I wrote some activities down and asked him to choose a couple of those too. From there I planned a holiday that suited my budget and greater knowledge of the world, but knowing he'd had some input.

I don't deny that sometimes parents need to drive through an idea - if your instinct is that spending time with horses would be good, fine. But I'd guess most of all he needs to feel he can make some enjoyable choices.

He was diagnosed a few weeks ago really and already

The Prednisolone gave him rage and insomnia, he started vaping, hanging around with people I'd never heard about and also pretty bad depression, I massively fought against the.medication, but he was told they would work miracles....they haven't worked?

Agreed

i I mean to have a serious bowel condition and be out gallivanting on a horse for the first time

I'd like for him to ride a horse for the first time.....I used to do it loads and it's pure therapy, there's nothing better in my eyes....be around animals and have a fire or barbecue at night.

yes nothing better in your eyes
it is pure therapy in your eyes
it would be by my 14 yr old DS’ worst nightmare Whereas it would indeed be therapy and wonderful for my teen daughter.

What would your son like to do?

have you asked you son if this is what he wants? As someone with a bowel disorder this would be hell for me.
stress can make it worse, i would not want to be walking around somewhere and need a loo.
new environment might be more stressful right now esp around the areas you’re talking about.
trying new things like horse riding etc
i think you both sound like you have had huge things to deal with it, you sound like a great mom.
take your lead from him.
ask him what he feels he is up for.

I’m so sorry to hear of your situation! It must be so hard!!

my family had a reset holiday recently, we got a hot tub cabin in wales on a very small quiet campsite surrounded by fields. There were a few castles and a forest to explore but we spent a lot of time playing games and chilling in the hot tub. It was very reasonable in price too, if wales is suitable I can recommend maesmawr farm.

hope wherever you go you have a lovely weekend x

Ask him what he wants to do. This sounds a lot like what you want to do.

Bosinver Farm in Cornwall has lovely accommodation, lots of animals (including horses), great walks and a swimming pool.

It is quite expensive but we’ve been back several times as it’s so great.

It's a nice idea, but what does your son actually want?

I can't help hut think that at 13 years old, angry with the world, with the trauma of a shock diagnosis of a life changing bowel condition, he may not want to be skipping through the woods with a pony and no toilet for miles.

Talk to him. See what he wants. Make it about him. If that's a city break with a trip to a gaming arcade, so be it. Reconnect with him absolutely - but do it around his interests, rather than yours.

🤣🤣🤣
Bless you for thinking that one is in control of a half-ton animal that will take flight after seeing a leaf, one that it sees everyday, looking at it funny.
A horse never obeys, it just goes along with stuff until it is tired or hungry.

Self catering house with two bathrooms? Short distance from home, but opportunity to relax in country scenery?

Did you read the OP?

Maybe ask him what he'd like to do and plan it out together for a few weeks time? You'll get much more out of that then springing a weekend on him that he may or may not enjoy imo and as pp have said access to a toilet is important

Only do what he wants, physically. He'll be weak, drained, wanting to be in bed, and near a toilet.

@adamduritzvocalchords I specifically suggested the place I did because it has a toilet in the accommodation- or is that not what you meant?

I agree with that.

Someone above mentioned Center Parcs which would be a good compromise.

However, op, your son is the one most affected by the Crohns and he is acting the way he is because it must be awful to have to adjust to it. He shouldn't have to be on steroids all the time, long term, the disease can be managed in other ways.

Does he want to go away somewhere or is it what you want? Give him time and listen to him.

Riding is a good idea. It is recommended for children that feel like they lack control in some way, since having such a large animal obey them and learning to control it gives them some of that back. It does use a lot of core muscles though, so you’ll have to make sure that will be okay with his condition.

Forest holidays might fit the bill, not as commercial as centre Parcs, still in nature, lots of walking, bike rides, horse riding and outdoors activities available, cabins of various sizes with proper beds and toilets. Lots of different sites across Uk as well

I don’t know where you are based but my first thought was the new forest. Great for everything you describe. Hope you’re both ok and have a great time whatever you choose.

That sounds like a good suggestion, but it would help if the OP says where she lives. I think for this sort of weekend, the ideal location would be somewhere that's a bit far for a day trip so not somewhere they go all the time, but not a huge trek, so maybe around a couple of hours travel from home?

The weather/time of year would also be relevant, I thought the OP wanted to go somewhere fairly soon, which would make BBQs and fire pits a challenge unless there's sheltered outdoor space.

Also an idea of budget? Do you want cheap and cheerful or something more luxurious?

A hotel/country estate fairly near to me might suit. I can't see horse riding but they might be able to a local provider.

https://www.swintonestate.com/bivouac/

I cannot recommend YHA enough! You can choose a private en suite room. I’ve stayed at a few in Cornwall, Beer (Devon), Cirencester, Windermere and the one near Stratford upon Avon. All excellent. www.yha.org.uk

Being out in nature away from a clean and private toilet sounds like utter hell with a digestive disorder.

What about a totally different approach - go for a culture weekend somewhere like London (if you don’t live there) or Paris. Lots of museums with nice clean toilets, good restaurants with allergen safe menus, theatre, short walking tours in fun arts districts.

Maybe this is just something I want to do, but at that age I would have loved a cool city break and hated a nature experience.

I can't recommend anywhere specific, sorry, but I agree with everyone saying he needs somewhere with his own bathroom, or at least one shared with only you.

Does he like animals? If he's had so much change with his body in a short amount of time, then riding a horse for the first time might not be the experience you're hoping for. It might be great, but if he's a beginner he probably can't do anything too exciting and it could just end up a source of stress, particularly if it's a ride that takes him away from toilets.

You sound like a great mum and I know this is all being driven by love for him. I would talk to him and see what he wants to do, with the condition that it needs to be something in nature that gets him away from his phone. He's more likely to enjoy it if he feels some agency around the trip. I imagine a lot of what is happening to him right now feels out of control and he might not appreciate more things being decided for him.

How was he diagnosed without having taken the pre-med?