To think poorly of the OW in this situation?

No, to all of that. But, I’m sure you’re right. 😊

Why post anything then? Because you can't justify your basic selfishness clearly, in thinking it's "fine" to behave like an OW and take what you want. Any woman that thinks that is ok towards another woman isn't valuing women, so perhaps that could be construed as misogyny as clearly anyone that thinks it's ok to put themselves above others in a situation like this couldn't care less about women. Bizarre thinking but not in the least bit "fascinating". Nothing you've said is fascinating, you've just declared yourself a selfish, uncaring person, and no, not everyone is like you, thankfully.

Yes, the internalised misogyny is fascinating!

Don't agree at all. I tend to expect more from women because I think they tend to be better human beings (not all) and therefore it's quite the contrary to misogyny.

I engaged with what you said.

You said that most people care about themselves and what they want more than other people, particularly people they don't know. Your wording, and the way you presented it, makes it seem like you believe that to be absolutely factual. You are implying that most of the women here would do the exact same thing as the OW.

You won't engage with the women here who said "Actually, I'm not like that" because it breaks down your point and position, and you've got nothing to back it up with.

Sorry you've accepted such a rigidly individualistic perspective on the world. Tory, perhaps?

3 years ago my children’s dad left after having an affair with another women. They were working away on a job together. The women knew full well he had two young children. One in nursery and one in primary. For months they snuck around acting like love sick teenagers. Going out to dinner, renting holiday homes. All the time ex partner was calling home and lying to me and the kids FaceTiming us. Constantly telling us how busy he was and how stressful work was:

They continue to see each other but live in different countries. Time with our kids is limited with their dad as it is but he seems to find time to holiday and see this women. He will go months without seeing our children.

I still feel raged occasionally about it. I had children with someone who is totally checked out of every physical and mental aspect or parenting. Unless it suits him occasionally. But somehow this women and him think he is a fantastic dad because he pays maintenance?! do women really find guys like this a catch. I sadly had no one to gage him against. But this women knows he is a cheat, a liar and puts himself before his kids. It’s a total mystery to me!!!

Don't agree at all. I tend to expect more from women because I think they tend to be better human beings (not all) and therefore it's quite the contrary to misogyny.

Yes, the internalised misogyny is fascinating!

I know someone who had sex with a married man in his living room while his kids were in bed and wife at work yet still claims she did nothing wrong because "I didn't make the vows." So yeah... the logic with people like this is just bizarre.

I find it fascinating that she (and you) are wholly unable to engage with what I’ve actually said. And I don’t care if you disagree with me, so my responses reflect that.

The Attenborough thing was hilarious, though. waves cheerily at imaginary audience 🤣

She only wants him because he’s taken

I find threads like this really interesting. So much internalised misogyny. A man who promised to love you - the father of your children, no less - lied and mistreated you. But your ire is directed at a woman who you’ve never met, who doesn’t know you and owes you nothing. Your issue is with her lack of ‘decency’. She, in your mind, ‘also lied to you’.

It’s a truly fascinating mindset.

Basically, she doesn’t give a shit about you. Much like none of us on this thread do (although some might pretend). Most people aren’t monsters, we won’t hurt people for no reason, we generally try to be kind, etc. But, when it comes down to it, if it’s a choice between what we want and the desires of a total stranger, we’d pick ourselves. No contest. And, honestly, that’s fine.

The person who should have had your best interests at heart - the person who swore to - was your DH. And he didn’t. Which is why he left. If he actually gave a shit about you, he wouldn’t have cheated. So, your issue is nothing to do with her.

But it’s not solely at the wrong party. I honestly think ex partner is an awful human being. But I think very low of this women. Not a role model I want around my children. Because treating people (even strangers) so poorly is not something I’m ok with.

You find it fascinating that other people think you're wrong? It's really weird that you're trying to act like the David Attenborough of Mumsnet and are directing your thoughts at some imagined audience.

You: If we look closely into this thread, we can see the internalised misogyny appearing. What a fascinating display.

OP (and others): "Actually, I'm just saying that some women are extremely selfi-"

You: "AS we can now see, the misogyny is internalising in real time. Such a special moment for us to capture here on Mumsnet. Utterly fascinating."

😐

I'm a woman who thinks a married/'taken' man, with or without children, is an unattractive prospect. I have never slept with someone's boyfriend, or husband. I think that shit is grim, and I've called men out who have tried to cheat with me. It genuinely makes me angry that they're such selfish idiots who are trying to inflict themselves on me, and could hurt their girlfriends badly for some meaningless titillation. I've always been this way, not because I've been hurt.

However if a man is single and I want him, I don't care about the competition, and I won't bow out just because someone else wants him. As soon as it seems like he' struggling to make his choice, or might prefer someone else, THEN I am no longer interested. Just naturally, easily, uninterested. And I'd respect his choice, and her, by not behaving as a threat in any way.

There are lots of people like me around, and I don't think it's misogynistic to say that women that aren't like this are extremely selfish.

Extreme selfishness is disgusting, whether that comes from a man or a woman, by the way. It's okay for OP to find her disgustingly selfish ex and his disgustingly selfish girlfriend utterly deplorable. Neither of them care about the well being of others, and that isn't just standard human behaviour like you're trying to make out.