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AIBU?

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To think poorly of the OW in this situation?

287 replies

Itsnotpink · 12/02/2025 21:51

3 years ago my children’s dad left after having an affair with another women. They were working away on a job together. The women knew full well he had two young children. One in nursery and one in primary. For months they snuck around acting like love sick teenagers. Going out to dinner, renting holiday homes. All the time ex partner was calling home and lying to me and the kids FaceTiming us. Constantly telling us how busy he was and how stressful work was:

They continue to see each other but live in different countries. Time with our kids is limited with their dad as it is but he seems to find time to holiday and see this women. He will go months without seeing our children.

I still feel raged occasionally about it. I had children with someone who is totally checked out of every physical and mental aspect or parenting. Unless it suits him occasionally. But somehow this women and him think he is a fantastic dad because he pays maintenance?! do women really find guys like this a catch. I sadly had no one to gage him against. But this women knows he is a cheat, a liar and puts himself before his kids. It’s a total mystery to me!!!

OP posts:
Itsnotpink · 12/02/2025 22:12

Absolutely not making it all about the other women. Ex is a total scumbag. But just not understanding why a women would still willingly consider involving herself with a guy knowing he had two small children at home. I would never ever sleep around with a man knowing he had a knackered wife with tiny kids! I’d be repulsed by a guy.

i am not sure about the committed comment. They do not live together. Hardly see each other as different continents. She’s met our kids twice? Not sure I’d call that a very serious relationship?!

This women is in her later 20s. Ex is late 30s

OP posts:
Zone2NorthLondon · 12/02/2025 22:10

There is a false narrative that the OW is a temptress,she stole a mn etc. Men (&women) can’t be stolen they go freely, because they want to. As uncomfortable as it historically partners leave because they want to, they’re not spirited away

BreezyScroller · 12/02/2025 22:04

If it's been 3 years, they seem quite committed to each other.

What is a mystery is why this thread is about the OW really? You don't know each other, she doesn't owe you anything. It's not great, but surely your issue should be 95% with your ex!

Why making it all about the woman?

Zone2NorthLondon · 12/02/2025 22:01

All couples create their own narrative their story of us. Naturally they’ll believe they’re good match etc and that previous partners didn’t get them. Realistically they won’t think of you, other than you’re the unsavoury harpie ex who does not get his greatness. She’ll buy into this. Love compelled them together, against the odds and all that

BlondiePortz · 12/02/2025 22:00

I presume they are desperate for attention and some people need to compete even if the other women (original one i mean) is not playing the game

Some women feel they have won if they 'catch' a man like 'he is mine now' sure i don't get it

But the man cheated in this case not the OW

UlceratedPapacy · 12/02/2025 21:58

I know someone who had sex with a married man in his living room while his kids were in bed and wife at work yet still claims she did nothing wrong because "I didn't make the vows." So yeah... the logic with people like this is just bizarre.

JudgeBread · 12/02/2025 21:57

They're just thick and desperate, and either arrogant enough or delusional enough to believe they're somehow so special that he won't cheat on them too.

At least they deserve eachother, the Loser and the Tramp 🤷‍♀️

aei22 · 12/02/2025 21:57

He’s probably fed her quite a lot of bullshit. Is she younger and naive?

TY78910 · 12/02/2025 21:56

I find it amusing that these women almost always call themselves a 'girls girl'. On the surface they're all about women supporting women, girl power, women at work initiatives 💪🏼

Yet here they are, homewrecking.

Changeandchanges · 12/02/2025 21:56

He and his OW might think he is fantastic but I can assure you an awful lot of people see him , and her, for what they are OP.
At some point she will be on the receiving end of his lying and cheating and she will think differently about him then .

RubyRedBow · 12/02/2025 21:53

Some women are so desperate that they can only see that a man wants them and are blind to the rest of it.

ChangingHistory · 12/02/2025 21:53

This must be true of all OW. They know he is a liar and a cheat but think he's a catch. Illogical.

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