Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have over 40 matches on tinder?

30 replies

Chinesewings · 12/02/2025 21:51

Just that really. It’s actually giving me a head ache having the same conversation over and over again and worried I’ll never find somebody

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Flyonthewall01 · 13/02/2025 20:16

ForeverPombear · 13/02/2025 10:34

Tinder 5 years ago was a lot different to how it is today.

Show quote history

I disagree, I met my current partner of 2 years on tinder and my ex of 6 years too. Never had a bad experience on there just depends who you’re swiping on 🤷‍♀️

arethereanyleftatall · 13/02/2025 20:12

RechargeableGnu · 12/02/2025 22:46

#humblebrag

Lol - tell us you've never been on tinder without telling us!

Cosyblankets · 13/02/2025 20:11

DaisyChain505 · 13/02/2025 10:29

I hate this stereotype. I met my now husband on tinder and we’ve spent 5 amazing years together so far.

There are plenty of decent men and women out there who are looking for something more than a shag.

Show quote history

Likewise

Mulledmead · 13/02/2025 20:05

My experience is that you see the same faces on tinder, hinge and bumble.
What is interesting is the ones who sell themselves differently on each platform. Tinder is useful in that respect as if they're looking for short term fun on Tinder, but a long term relationship on Bumble they are easier to avoid I guess?! I have been failing miserably for too long on old, but you see the same faces over again.
I rarely swipe on people, 2 chats on the go at once would be getting too much for me, 40 is mind-boggling, but it depends what you're after I guess.

tropicalroses · 13/02/2025 13:49

RENhdthg · 13/02/2025 11:36

In what way is it different?
genuine query as was on 8years ago and also met my DH

Show quote history

Tinder was the main app 8 years ago so everyone was on it. Now with the rise of other apps the good'uns have switched to other apps where you are more likely to find someone looking for a meaningful connection. The proportion of good guys on tinder is minimal now

JudgeBread · 13/02/2025 11:44

DaisyChain505 · 13/02/2025 10:29

I hate this stereotype. I met my now husband on tinder and we’ve spent 5 amazing years together so far.

There are plenty of decent men and women out there who are looking for something more than a shag.

Show quote history

That's nice and I'm happy for you mate, but stereotypes exist for a reason and this one exists because looking for a healthy long term relationship on tinder is like looking for a fart in a jacuzzi. So you beat the odds, doesn't mean a vast majority of the people on there aren't only there for a pump and dump.

RENhdthg · 13/02/2025 11:36

ForeverPombear · 13/02/2025 10:34

Tinder 5 years ago was a lot different to how it is today.

Show quote history

In what way is it different?
genuine query as was on 8years ago and also met my DH

MrsMitford3 · 13/02/2025 11:35

My DS and DIL met on Hinge.

Think it is slightly more chat /getting to know you versus straight hookup but that may be naive...

RENhdthg · 13/02/2025 11:34

Unrelated38 · 13/02/2025 11:32

Try bumble. Tinder is rubbish, just people looking for a quickie.

Disagree! Went on tinder very briefly and within the couple of days I had the app, matched with my now husband. Happily married with children now. There are gooduns on there!!

Unrelated38 · 13/02/2025 11:32

Try bumble. Tinder is rubbish, just people looking for a quickie.

JHound · 13/02/2025 11:30

ForeverPombear · 12/02/2025 22:51

I don't think it's a brag, I wouldn't say that's a lot. It's really easy to get matches on Tinder.

Show quote history

Sounds like a lot to me. When I used Tinder I had vanishing matches. 40 in my inbox would have been a load!

Pyjamatimenow · 13/02/2025 11:19

Old including tinder is a numbers game. I had hundreds of matches. I swiped for 5 mins a day and replied to any messages for 10 mins a day. I didn’t do long chats. They had four messages to ask for my number and move it off the app or to ask for a date. Anything else I just stopped replying to. I went on a few dates a week and had a similar approach. Very quick, meet and greet, short dates. I actually met my husband on match rather than tinder but I had some decent dates from there.

tropicalroses · 13/02/2025 11:13

Chinesewings · 13/02/2025 10:05

Do you know any other dating apps? And yes I do like the look of them but then they just seem to want sex.

Show quote history

Then why would you like them if they are sleazy? You need to weed out all the horrors. Why would you have conversations with them. Just move on.

Try Bumble rather than tinder

LondonPapa · 13/02/2025 10:36

Chinesewings · 12/02/2025 21:51

Just that really. It’s actually giving me a head ache having the same conversation over and over again and worried I’ll never find somebody

40 is nothing. When I was doing online dating I had 50 matches in the first night and a bunch of dates set up for the next night. Speed dating in a way but in different locations with different girls. Lots of fun.

You don't need to respond to the guys that just say hi, or don't take any proactive action. I suggested we got to know each other offline at X event that was on, and got immediate yes from a few. Having seen the usual messages girls get, I'm not at all surprised. If there is no initial enthusiasm, ignore or reach out to the guy you like the look of the most yourself?

ForeverPombear · 13/02/2025 10:34

DaisyChain505 · 13/02/2025 10:29

I hate this stereotype. I met my now husband on tinder and we’ve spent 5 amazing years together so far.

There are plenty of decent men and women out there who are looking for something more than a shag.

Show quote history

Tinder 5 years ago was a lot different to how it is today.

DaisyChain505 · 13/02/2025 10:29

JudgeBread · 12/02/2025 23:06

If you're looking for anything other than a shag Tinder probably isn't the place anyway.

I hate this stereotype. I met my now husband on tinder and we’ve spent 5 amazing years together so far.

There are plenty of decent men and women out there who are looking for something more than a shag.

Menopants · 13/02/2025 10:22

The apps go through phases. Hinge was the best of a bad bunch a year ago. Bumble was a horror show

Ankhmo · 13/02/2025 10:19

Speaking from a place of great experience and many years of using Tinder as a woman...b

🤣

Catza · 13/02/2025 10:08

Ankhmo · 13/02/2025 09:37

When I first went on to OLD, I'd message..

I'd read profiles, look at the information I could see, spend time crafting the first message..
Mentioning the information in profile, asking about their hobby, or where one of the photos was taken, or where were they on holiday in one photo and more and more and more.

.... What a waste of time it was.
Half the twats couldn't string a sentence together, half the twats answered with one word replies, the other half were shit at maths.

Show quote history

From what I gather, it's not much different from many women on Tinder so I think playing chicken with who messages first is probably a waste of time. Match, message, unmatch if not appropriate - 5 min job.

Flowers73752 · 13/02/2025 10:07

Chinesewings · 13/02/2025 10:05

Do you know any other dating apps? And yes I do like the look of them but then they just seem to want sex.

Show quote history

I met my partner on Bumble. Hinge is also good. Tinder is awful!!

Original poster
Chinesewings · 13/02/2025 10:05

tropicalroses · 13/02/2025 09:43

Men on tinder will swipe on anything. Either you need to be discerning, because they wont be or move to a different platform. Do you really actually like the look of all of these 40?

Do you know any other dating apps? And yes I do like the look of them but then they just seem to want sex.

OP posts:
tropicalroses · 13/02/2025 09:43

Men on tinder will swipe on anything. Either you need to be discerning, because they wont be or move to a different platform. Do you really actually like the look of all of these 40?

Ankhmo · 13/02/2025 09:37

Catza · 13/02/2025 07:24

I am guessing you didn't bother to message any of them yourself...

Show quote history

When I first went on to OLD, I'd message..

I'd read profiles, look at the information I could see, spend time crafting the first message..
Mentioning the information in profile, asking about their hobby, or where one of the photos was taken, or where were they on holiday in one photo and more and more and more.

.... What a waste of time it was.
Half the twats couldn't string a sentence together, half the twats answered with one word replies, the other half were shit at maths.

Catza · 13/02/2025 07:24

Ankhmo · 12/02/2025 22:58

Meh.. I tried tinder, every damn swipe was a match and about 1% of them ever bothered to message.

Just about everyone swipes on everyone.
If you match with someone, it means less than if you'd walked past them in the street.

I am guessing you didn't bother to message any of them yourself...

Original poster
Chinesewings · 13/02/2025 06:23

Yes I think I’m going to delete the app, you match with somebody say hi and then that’s it!

OP posts: