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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For being cross that DD’s friends left her behind to walk alone?

79 replies

Potentiallyprecious · 12/02/2025 16:21

DD is in Y6. Once a week she goes with two friends to an activity on the other side of our (fairly small) city after school. Until recently I was driving them there and was happy to do so but the girls have now decided that they would like to walk. It’s about a 35 minute walk. I’ve said that I’m happy with this as long as they’re in a group - I wouldn’t be very happy for DD to be walking down the main road and through a busy city centre alone, especially on a grey and slightly dreary day like today. I think it’s easier for drivers to spot a group in the gloom.

Today, one of DD’s friends (A) was in a sports match and was meant to be finishing slightly late so I told DD that she and their other friend (B) would need to wait for her. No problem - they’d still make it on time. I said I’d come and drop something off for her at the school gate and if they wanted to, they could sit in my car and stay warm until A was finished.

In the end, I couldn’t find a parking space so was (literally) a few minutes late. In the meantime, A’s match finished early. A and B told DD that they wouldn’t wait for her and left her behind . She knew I was coming any second and needed her stuff but they wouldn’t wait for her, even knowing that she wasn’t allowed to walk on her own. This feels pretty unkind, especially as DD was perfectly happy to wait another 30 minutes for A to finish her match, and in general, we’ve often waited a long time for either A or B to collect their things etc. DD was quite upset when I got there because she knew she wasn’t allowed to walk on her own.

We caught them up and I dropped her off with them, but I did tell them slightly crossly that if they were meant to be walking together, it was dangerous to leave one person behind. Was I unreasonable to have done so? They looked at me and raised their eyebrows as if they couldn’t understand what I was saying. I am feeling that it was pretty unkind. I am also meant to be giving them another lift tomorrow but am feeling a bit cross about the way they left DD.

Would you say anything to their parents/ ask them to have a word with the girls? I’m not sure how keen I am on letting DD walk again if the other two might just leave her on her own, and that’s a real shame for DD.

OP posts:
SapphireOpal · 12/02/2025 16:28

They presumably thought that if you were driving to drop something off anyway you could just drop her off at club and so it wasn't a problem for them to start walking?

Catza · 12/02/2025 16:25

I am not sure I quite understand your post. You said it is easier for drivers to spot the group. Do they actually walk on the road or the pavement?
35 min walk during daytime seems absolutely fine to me. Group dynamics is another issue but I don't see why you wouldn't "allow" her to walk alone.

Anewuser · 12/02/2025 16:25

They are 10 or 11 years old. Kids that age have little understanding of each other.

The friends probably thought you would make them late so they wanted to start walking. They would probably think you would then drop your own daughter at the activity.

I would definitely not mention it to their parents.

littleducks · 12/02/2025 16:25

I can see why you are annoyed but I think you are trying to enforce your own family rules on others. That just won't work as she goes into secondary and you need to concentrate on your daughter and the things she can control.

I may have misunderstood if you and parents had all agreed this with shared ground rules but it didn't sound like it from post.