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Original poster

To not give her a lift?

791 replies

DreamingOfHotPotatoes · 12/02/2025 09:12

My child does an activity, once a week, that's roughly a 30 minute drive from my house, so an hour long round trip.

However, one of the parents, who I have never spoken to, has asked other parents where I live, and on discovering that I drive past her house, has decided that I will be taking her child to and from the activity from now on. She has not asked me this! Last week she just left the child at the activity and told the child I would be giving them a ride home. I gave the child a ride home, but not willingly! This child shoved my child out of the way and demanded the front seat, then kicked the back of my seat the whole way home. My child has autism and really needs a quiet car on the way home to decompress, this was quite an ordeal for her.

I'm taking my daughter to her activity later and I'm having anxiety over it happening again. Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to give this child a ride home?!

OP posts:
SofaSpuds · 14/02/2025 08:24

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PullTheBricksDown · 14/02/2025 08:23

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FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 14/02/2025 08:22

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Silvertulips · 14/02/2025 08:20

Good lord!! CF the pair of them!!

SofaSpuds · 14/02/2025 08:19

Wowsers!!!! 🤯😵‍💫🤯😵‍💫🧐

FilthyforFirth · 14/02/2025 08:12

Hmm, that is quite the update.. Just wondering how you found all this out?

Seems odd that the other parents would insist you take the child home if they thought you were the OW?! If you had cheated with my husband I would not want you anywhere near my children, never mind giving them lifts...c

Tagyoureit · 14/02/2025 08:07

The update seems quite unbelievable.

How did you manage to find out all this out if you're not friends with this lot?

Though gossip wise, I'm here for it! 🤣

Redfred00 · 14/02/2025 08:07

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Londonrach1 · 14/02/2025 08:03

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PinkFrogss · 14/02/2025 08:01

Wow OP that’s unbelievable.

How were you able to so easily find out she was having an affair with the activity leaders if the others didn’t know?

Worried8263839 · 14/02/2025 08:01

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Original poster
DreamingOfHotPotatoes · 14/02/2025 07:56

Sorry I left the thread for a bit. I have been doing a LOT of digging! And my goodness do I have an update!

The leader's irritated reaction as if I was personally responsible for causing an inconvenience, the hostility from a few of the other mums, it just didn't sit right with me, something felt off. These were not normal reactions! I messaged a few other parents privately and got a very curt response from one - apparently after all I'd done, giving a lift home was the least I could do! This completely baffled me, so I rang another mum who has always seemed reasonable. I felt bad for her, as she obviously felt like I'd put her on the spot, but after some dithering she confessed that she had heard the CF's husband had left because of an affaire and it had been implied that I was the Other Woman!!!!! I was absolutely appalled as this is NOT the case! And I made very sure she knew that! I then did more digging and talking to people, and well, it's all come out now!!

Do you want to know the REAL story? CF's husband left because SHE was the one having the affaire! With, wait for it.....the activity leader!!!!!! They had hatched a plan where she would nip round to his and wait there for him, while muggins here took her child home!! I'm absolutely gobsmacked at the audacity of the two of them!! And RAGING at the gossip they were happy to have people believe about me! Apparently I was never named, just heavily hinted towards.

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 14/02/2025 06:26

I can’t believe anyone would be so cheeky. The fact she just told other people you’d be taking her and hadn’t even asked you. These other people can go out of their way and help if they say it takes a village. Unbelievably cheeky.

Khanga27 · 14/02/2025 06:16

DreamingOfHotPotatoes · 12/02/2025 19:26

@diddl I don't want to return! But moving my child is not easy.

This is so upsetting for both you and your child, I’m so sorry. Has there been any fall out from CF parent since you not giving the other child a lift?

mightymam · 13/02/2025 20:12

Fucking hell OP. Do not change your position. If the other parents care enough, they can drop the kid off.

Delatron · 13/02/2025 20:11

Although your child would miss out for one week I agree it would be good to miss a week (not the end of the world). But it shows CF they need other arrangements. Also exit the WhatsApp.

Make sure you send a concerned email to the group leader and ask them to clarify what their rules are on collecting children.

surreygirl1987 · 13/02/2025 19:41

Wow that's mental! Can't believe what a CF the mother is!!

Acc0untant · 13/02/2025 18:38

I think I'd miss next week on purpose so that when their child is left there again the coach will really understand that child's mum has abandoned him/her with no plans in place to pick them back up.

Daleksatemyshed · 13/02/2025 18:34

You're right @MTP312 the Ops DC shouldn't have to miss out which is why I said a week or two rather than giving up altogether. It seems very much that the other DMs in the group will either go on badgering the Op to gives lifts she feels unable to give or they'll take it out on her and possibly her DC. I'd love to say explain it to them and they'll see you're not being unreasonable but they've picked sides already, they think the Ops being unkind when that's not the case.

MTP312 · 13/02/2025 18:16

Daleksatemyshed · 13/02/2025 17:45

I'd bow out of this group for a week or two Op to allow this to blow over. If the group have to make other arrangements when you're not about it might change their minds, especially if they then see how rudely the DC behaves. Either this or I'd go and see the CF and make it clear why there will be no more lifts home, it depends on how assertive you are.

So the OP's DC has to not go to a class they enjoy, because of this CF? How is that fair/right?

Daleksatemyshed · 13/02/2025 17:45

I'd bow out of this group for a week or two Op to allow this to blow over. If the group have to make other arrangements when you're not about it might change their minds, especially if they then see how rudely the DC behaves. Either this or I'd go and see the CF and make it clear why there will be no more lifts home, it depends on how assertive you are.

Yalta · 13/02/2025 17:11

I then got the stink eye from one of the other mum's who said CF's husband had recently left her and could I not be a little more understanding! I said it was hard to understand someone I've never spoken to!!

Perfect response.

However then was your chance to say

“Why don’t you take her home if CF has told you her circumstances and she needs a little understanding”

Mathsbabe · 13/02/2025 16:35

I had a parent do this to me. I picked my children and a friend after school and walked to a dance class. One day school sent another child to me who explained that I was expected to walk her to dance classes too. I was very surprised. Turned out that the mother was a neighbour of the friend's mother.
Some time later I found out that this mother was also a Social Worker.

Creameded · 13/02/2025 14:48

Bloody hell, if a person/leader doesn't think that the above doesn't indicate safe guarding issues of a child 30 minutes away from an activity, being clearly foisted of another adult that doesn't know them or their parents, or where they even live....... I feel sorry for anyone they might be responsible for.
I think it needs reporting.

Londonrach1 · 13/02/2025 14:16

Agree definitely a second what's app group

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