To not give her a lift?

This is exactly what I would do.

They are all completely irrationally unreasonable.

Post a final message on the chat confirming you won't be driving any other children. Then disengage. Leave the chat ideally.

You have just got to put your foot down and say NO as in NO

If the mother doesn't like it tough luck.

Absolutely this. OMG what is wrong with these people?! The sheer CF-ery and presumption, not to mention the others piling on.

I'm gobsmacked at the sheer nerve of this mum. Asking you if you'd be willing to do this would have been one thing, and fair enough imo, but to presume and tell everyone you will be doing it without having actually asked? It'd be a 'hell, no' from me for that reason alone. This sounds like someone who goes around wrong-footing people with her sheer brazenness and getting away with it because people are too aghast to come up with a refusal in the moment. And sadly for her DD, it sounds like her general rudeness and entitled attitude are rubbing off on her, which isn't going to help her in life.

I would say that you will not be doing it again and you only did last time because she was so irresponsible to leave her alone.
The group leader will have to constant her parents if nobody collects her.

YANBU

I know that decompression after activity is crucial.

A silver bullet would be taking things a little far.

Although the mother and child seem to have the manners of werewolves.

You are going to have to respond to the CF message as she's basically said your excuse doesn't count and you will still be taking her.

I'd just say -
That won't work for us. I wont be collecting X. You will need to make other arrangements.

And then respond no further.

I would then contact the teacher/organiser and let them know of the situation so that when CF tells them you are picking they can challenge - or they can challenge on drop off anyway if they don't want to be stuck with the child.

But absolutely refuse to bring the child home tonight. Otherwise you will be stuck with it and it is clearly detrimental to your child.

Have you replied since?

I would say "I was trying to be polite but you're not taking the hint. I will not be giving yours or anyone else's children lifts."

Don't worry for a single second about the others in the group saying you should because it takes a village. They could offer, but haven't. These women are bullying you because they think you're an easy target. Don't worry about "oh they'll dislike me if I don't go along with it", they already are disrespecting you, you'll never win them over. I'm not trying to be cruel to you, I get picked as an easy target too. Don't allow them to push you around.

I had a similar issue years ago with school runs. Another Mum who I happened to work with used to collar me just before I left work to collect DS from school asking if I could pick up her child and take him home (at least she asked, I guess). This went on for a number of weeks until one morning when we were coming out of the house and she drove past me taking her DS to school. She waved and smiled but drove on!

The next time she asked me, later that day, I suggested we share the school run, she takes my DS in the morning and I bring her DS back in the afternoon. Sadly, she hasn't spoken to me since! That was about 12 years ago and it still rankles me now.

Shut this woman down, she didn't have the decency to ask you. If the child is expecting a lift with you next time, return them to the organisers and state that [you are not going that way as you have Drs, Dentist, other engagement] and that you haven't been asked to collect the child.

She is a CF!

Please hold firm on not giving the child regular lifts OP.

Someone who thinks 'well she's going past my house anyway she can take my child too' without even asking you if you are OK with it is just as likely to think 'well she's cooking tea for her child it won't be much for her to cook tea for mine' and you'll end up doing childcare after the activity too, especially as it sounds like there is no adult at home after the activity.

I get it's nice to do favours for people, but if someone is an encroacher they need strong initial boundaries so they know not to encroach with you.

Please send this.

What a CF,
When she put on the group chat that you were taking her child home (without asking you !) Then why didn’t you reply that you aren’t taking her child home as you weren’t asked and you can’t do it ?
Message on it now and say ‘I wasn’t asked to do the lifts and If I was the answer would have been the same. NO, I can’t do lifts’

Why is everyone obsessed with this?

Can you not grasp that the child was told by the OP that she doesn't get to sit in the front and was told to get in to the back!

Why is that so hard to figure out?

The child wanted to sit in the front but the op made them sit in the back where they kicked the seat in front of them.

Ffs this has now been asked tonnes of times, try reading the thread or at least OPs updates!

my son used to play football with a lad whose parents would always rely on lifts !

Why do they commit to activities knowing they can’t / won’t get the kid there ?

Yes , emergencies happen and one offs OK
V rude she didn’t ask you . I’d be peeved too

What would happen to the poor kid if you hadn’t gone last week for illness or something? She hadn’t asked you? Just assumed?

For the sake of these parents, I'd say "Oh look CF Parent - Mary and Jane have apparently volunteered to bring little Janet home for you as I've stated I can't bring her home. After all, it's takes a village, so I've been told"

Play them at their own game!

You are being bullied by these parents. I find it hard to say no too and usually try to make an excuse rather than a straight no, so I get it. But honestly, if I started to feel painted into a corner like this by a bunch of manipulators, I would just say straight out that it doesn’t suit me and leave it at that. Don’t let them call the shots. You have mentioned that your daughter needs to decompress on the way home, so remember that you’re being a caring mum who is putting her child first and never mind what anyone else thinks.

Why? The whole scenario sounds unbelievable.

Something a bit weird. How is it possible for the kid to kick the back of your chair if they had the front seat?

Did I read this incorrectly? Was it your DC kicking the back of your seat?

Another vote for this response!

... This cannot be real and must be a fabrication.

Surely.

I'm working my way through the comments and I just knew that they would come back with something like this.

You need to say "Ok - I was trying to be polite but that clearly missed the mark. I'm now stating clearly that I am not a taxi service and I am unable to bring any child (other than my own) to and from X activity. No exceptions and I'm not going to excuse it. Please find alternative arrangements for your child."