To not give her a lift?

Just reply 'I won't be offering any more lifts'.

Then mute.

Oh for goodness sake, use your brain. Seriously. What's the most logical explanation? The child was kicking the OPs seat which is only possible from sitting in the back therefore how could he possibly be sitting in the front. This is like cancel the bloody cheque.

I think you need to be honest...

I would send something like

"Had you asked I may have considered helping, but given you haven't at any point discussed this with me and just decided this what is happening I amnreturning the favour and deciding it will not. You will need to collect your child."

She has been massively entitled. If the other parents think they would act differently then let them take the child home.

I would message back explaining what exactly her child did to yours and explain that leaving her child alone without a lift home and without asking you could be considered neglect and I would also mention there was only a lodger there when you dropped the child off

Wow the cheek of these people. I wouldn't even respond any further, you've said no and that's it.

Don’t involve any others, just explain to the mum that you can’t anymore and the reason why. Or go another way home…….

Just state in your next text - Just to advise I will cannot give your child lifts home from activity. I will not be doing so. You will have to make other arrangements.

Don’t give an excuse, and block. Her child is not your problem. Unfortunately rudeness and CFery doesn’t warrant anything more than a direct NO. It’s not rudeness to say no. It was rudeness to assume.

I would still contact the organisers and make sure they understand that you have no shared responsibility for this child, no agreement to take her home etc. They then will not be allowed to hand the child into your care under safeguarding rules.

She’s a CF and the group chat mothers with their village stuff are just as bad.
Your car, your child, your choice.
Clearly a mother who doesn’t give a toss.
Do not give in.

You make it absolutely clear to the mother that you're not going to be giving lifts anymore.

If she doesn't bother to come to collect her child, the organisers of the activity will need to keep the child behind and phone her to come and collect.

It's not your problem if you've made it clear.

Your child is the priority.

Car time is, in my opinion, some of the most precious. It seems to be when kids open up the most, mostly because they don't have to make eye contact. I feel that this is even more important with an autistic child. Any situation where they feel fully relaxed has to be sacred.

This mother is taking the mick, and the only way she will understand is if her child is left standing there waiting.

With an attitude like this, can you imagine if the kid got injured whilst in your care? She would have you in court PDQ.

This is perfect but remove the 'after class' as it leaves it open for lifts to class.

Reply directly to the mum who wants the lift.

Ignore everyone else.

I wouldn't get into discussions CF parents have a way to exclude your own DC. Keeping others out of it is the best way forward.

Stop messaging in the group chat and call the mum.

It’s not rude to clearly say no, I can’t help. Your mistake was to offer an excuse in the first place. She is rude for not asking you originally, and for still insisting you do it now.

If possible contact her directly, as well as in the group and say ( no apologies)that you cannot do this, and that she’ll need to make other arrangements. Be polite but firm. If she or others come back just reply once to say not possible again. She is a CF so assume she might still try and dump them. Don’t take them, leave a bit earlier if you are stressing about it. Repeat its not your problem, and don’t make excuses!

Sorry if my previous message was unclear. I am not able to do lifts after class.

It's hard to believe anyone would accept this situation.

Your first mistake was taking the child home the first night. You said it was "agreed" in the group chat that you would take the child home on the first night so why did you not speak up then if you are also in that group chat?

I would respond with one last message stating that you are not taking the child home after the activity and you are not discussing it further and then leave it at that. If the child is left behind, it is not your problem to fix.

Foot down now… Write back “Where’s this village when I need help raising MY child? Obviously you can volunteer to have your child violently shoved and your car destroyed instead. I’m not doing it.”

I would reply "Well - if it takes a village to raise children, I did my share when I took Edna home last week - so it must be your turn this week!!", @DreamingOfHotPotatoes.

The mum, and her cheerleaders on the WhatsApp group are all cheeky fuckers - very happy to volunteer someone else's time and effort, but unwilling to step up themselves. They can fuck off. I wish you could add me to the group, so I could tell them a few home truths.

I am shocked that people think this mother is the reasonable one?!
I'd be sitting there watching the group chat cringing at the mother assuming someone else can do her parenting for her....

Wow! this child's parent(s) really doesn't give a s#8t who takes responsibility for them - not even at home to greet the kind person/stranger who agreed (without consultation) to drop them home - maybe a potential case for social services?

I would simply not agree to take the child home again full stop, leaving up to the staff who organises the activity to contact the parent - not fair on them either, i know, but at least they will have the contact information of the parent (or should have), and they can relay their annoyance to said parent, perhaps refusing further access to their activity if parent doesn't promise to collect at finish time in future. You could mention it to the organiser before the class so they can decide beforehand how to handle matter - it's not your responsibility.

Your village is right behind you - you are not wrong to say no.

Please understand that there are reasons why I am unable to offer xxxx a lift home. This had create some unwelcome comments which have made me feel uncomfortable. I hope that you will respect my request not to discuss this further on this group.

Don't reply to this message. You have said no. Enough. If the kid gets left behind so what?

No is a complete sentence. Say you cannot do it. She needs to find another way to manage her own child

There never was an arrangement!