To not give her a lift?

Nah, it's amusing me over lunch. It's still cockcustard though.

“I’m glad you’ve all volunteered then as I’ve all told you I can’t do it.” Job done.

If you really wanted to then I’d potentially add “I’ve told you I do the food shopping after it, I also use this as an opportunity to spend one on one time with DD and we grab a Maccies on the way home. We both really enjoy this and as she is autistic I’m not changing that routine, sorry”. I don’t think you should have to add that, mind you. But maybe it could make them back off a bit more?

This ⬆️

Nooooooooooo! Who are these people I can’t believe this!

Ask the activity to phone the mother and say you're not able to give lifts anymore.

And then leave the child in the hands of the organisers when you go.

Not your problem to sort out. No need to be unpleasant to the child but also no need to just put up with this.

This is insane. Please, please don't give her child another lift!

OMFG i am mad on your behalf OP!! They really are cheeky twats aren't they!.
I would go back again just saying no i will not be giving lifts, given some other parents feel strongly about this maybe they can drop your child off for you.

Just say no.

You don't owe anyone the reason. It's likely if you give a reason they will come up with solution! ...that suits them. I'll do almost anything for anyone, including going out of my way in terms of time, energy and money. Assumption ....nope

I feel your pain years ago a woman who lived in the same estate would wait till I walked by and then knock on her window and come out the door in her pj's and say you wouldn't be a doll and take her to school I had no choice as she was practically pushed out the door..I eve said to her that my son was getting annoyed and jelous and I wouldn't be able to walk her daughter to school with us anymore. Yes there was tension between me and her for awhile but I didn't care as my son said he got his mum back.

Whey cant they step up then! They can be the fucking village!

Then they can be the village idiots, acting as her free taxi service, if they think this way.
This village nonsense is usually trotted out when lazy parents want others to take on the responsibility for their children.

Yep my reply will be ‘well I do mind. I’m saying NO, end of discussion. NO tonight and NO in future!’ How old are you op? When you hit your 40’s you take no bullshit!

"Please make other arrangements for X getting home. I will not be taking her".

And don't.

ETA: you need to put into writing that you absolutely won't be collecting the child, so that the organizers know, when lumbered with her until her parent turns up, that you did nothing wrong. If you leave any doubt at all, people will blame you rather than her because it's easier for them to deal with you (nice) than her (cheeky fucker). Be firm and crystal clear.

'Happy if anyone else can help you, however I wasn't asked and did not agree, as a lift share agreement doesn't work for me. Hope you can sort something out.'

'Happy if anyone else can help you, however I wasn't asked and did not agree, as a lift share agreement doesn't work for me. Hope you can sort something out.'

It's actually very concerning that the leaders of the activity allowed this child to be taken by someone who wasn't their parent! I would definitely ring them before tonight and give them the heads up. You may find that CF mum has told them you are allowed to take and fetch her daughter..in which case you will need to put them right...

If she has chosen to abandon her child then the police and social services should be involved, not the OP.

Reply with

The answer is No I will not ferry your child to and from the activity.

I do mind your child tagging along. I don’t want to be dealing with arguments or my seat being kicked and I want to shop with my child in peace and not be responsible for another child.
I also don’t want the restriction of not being able to go somewhere else before the activity and have to go out of my way to pick up someone else’s child

Especially when I have never been asked to do this and only did it as a one off emergency when the parent didn’t collect and had told the child I would be doing it.

No it doesn’t take a village to raise a child. It takes one parent.

But if people think it does then why don’t they step in to help.

From my perspective the village analogy only seems to be trotted out when someone needs something

Probably because they are DESPERATE not to be lumbered with taking her home! Extreme CFs!

She didn't pick the child up this time but the first post makes it sound as though that is what is expected going forwards?

As another parent of autistic children, I completely understand your situation

I think the parent has been unbelievably rude in their expectation and with not even asking you. I’m old now and would respond that giving seat kicker a lift home doesn’t work for you. The people on the WhatsApp group are never going to be your friends anyway so who cares if you upset them.

if you want to give a reason, just tell them that your child is autistic and having someone else in the car after the stress of their activity is too much for them. But as I said, I’m old, and no longer feel the need to justify myself to wankers.

Theres no fucking village helping us bring up our autistic kids so I don’t know why we’re expected to assist everyone else.

Seriously? Two people are now getting into a debate with you over Whatsapp because you said 'sorry but I can't do that, I have to go grocery shopping after.'
And they are actually saying 'it takes a village..' etc?

Definitely don't be giving this child a lift. I'd be telling the mother straight.

Be blunt - the child was badly behaved so you won't take them again