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Original poster

Woman shouted at me for parking in a disabled spot

462 replies

AusMumhere · 12/02/2025 09:03

I parked in a disabled spot at the supermarket today. A woman about four cars away shouted at me and said 'that's a wheelie spot'. I shouted back 'I have a permit'. She then yelled 'where's ya walker?'. I said 'not all disabilities are visible'. I hate confrontation of any kind.
Should I have walked away or should I have responded? I'm still in shock that I shouted.

OP posts:
ClairDeLaLune · 12/02/2025 11:25

Sorry you had to deal with that OP. Anybody entitled to one of those badges should know that they’re not easy to get, you really have to prove you’re disabled before you can have one. You were very restrained in not telling her to fuck off!

DorsetHornet · 12/02/2025 11:24

She would have needed a disabled spot after speaking to me like that!

Coffeeishot · 12/02/2025 11:24

LoafofSellotape · 12/02/2025 11:21

What's a disabled permit,I've not heard of that before?

Some people like to think of themselves as parking police, best to ignore them.

The op is in Australia we all assumed it was a blue badge but it's Australian equivalent.

Original poster
AusMumhere · 12/02/2025 11:23

LoafofSellotape · 12/02/2025 11:21

What's a disabled permit,I've not heard of that before?

Some people like to think of themselves as parking police, best to ignore them.

It's the Australian equivalent of a blue badge

OP posts:
SerendipityJane · 12/02/2025 11:22

If some people paid 1% of the attention they pay to bullying policing random people on the street to the state of the country, we'd live in paradise.

LoafofSellotape · 12/02/2025 11:21

What's a disabled permit,I've not heard of that before?

Some people like to think of themselves as parking police, best to ignore them.

LadyKenya · 12/02/2025 11:17

brokenwand · 12/02/2025 11:05

horrible - I had an incident in a lift in a shopping centre where a lady on a mobility scooter got into the lift but the young guy with her went up the stairs due to lack of space. When the lift opened & he picked up his companion he started speaking very loudly (aimed at me) that "lifts should only be used by people who need them" & looking directly at me & DSS "not because they where lazy"! I actually have a heart problem & lung fibrosis meaning stairs are very difficult for me. I'm still upset by it & wish I had said something to the ignorant bore

Why would you feel that you had to explain yourself tough? Would you have stood there, and told a complete stranger your medical issues. You know why you used the lift, that is it.

Pinkyhere · 12/02/2025 11:15

She was a pig.

Horrible encounter to have.

DragonFly98 · 12/02/2025 11:15

ExtraOnions · 12/02/2025 10:22

Probably not going to be popular … but I think those spaces should be specifically for people with mobility issues, and those who need to get wheelchairs / scooters etc out of the car.

Some disabilities aren’t visible which is correct, and some people have disabilities that good days and bad days, just because you “can” doesn’t mean you “should”

So tough luck if you have copd and can’t walk across a car park. Disabled children who may suddenly bolt and be run over tough luck. Parents should restrain their child better, doesn’t matter if said child is taller/stronger than their parent. Plus many more reasons.

jellyfishperiwinkle · 12/02/2025 11:13

With lifts, I sometimes use them when carrying shopping bags as I get a bit of vertigo and dizziness on certain types of stairs and escalators- going down not up. Actually it happened the other day on an escalator that was very high and open on either side when I wasn't carrying anything other than a handbag. That said, I would make way for people who appeared to need it more if it were busy.

LadyKenya · 12/02/2025 11:08

Rosscameasdoody · 12/02/2025 10:58

A very balanced viewpoint. Problem is, people who challenge aggressively, won’t be ignored. I’ve had people challenge me and demand to see and handle the badge - actually blocking my exit from the car while they shout at me, and ignoring my requests to move aside.

Show quote history

Well obviously that person's actions are totally unacceptable, to block you from exiting your car. I am talking about instances like the OP's, where someone is shouting things out, or saying a person does not look disabled etc. I am just very aware of my own vulnerability, so I guess, I speak from that place. I am not in a position to defend myself, if someone was to get physical, for instance. I am not taking any chances by getting into a vocal exchange with people. Some people are just looking for anybody to vent their spleen on.

MyDeftDuck · 12/02/2025 11:07

None of her business - do not respond, simply walk away. You have every right to park in a disabled bay.

What really pisses me off is this........I volunteer for a local charity, the carpark has three disabled bays........by the time I arrive ALL 3 are occupied by vehicles NOT displaying a blue badge!

brokenwand · 12/02/2025 11:05

horrible - I had an incident in a lift in a shopping centre where a lady on a mobility scooter got into the lift but the young guy with her went up the stairs due to lack of space. When the lift opened & he picked up his companion he started speaking very loudly (aimed at me) that "lifts should only be used by people who need them" & looking directly at me & DSS "not because they where lazy"! I actually have a heart problem & lung fibrosis meaning stairs are very difficult for me. I'm still upset by it & wish I had said something to the ignorant bore

SaltyPig · 12/02/2025 11:03

jellyfishperiwinkle · 12/02/2025 10:15

I'm applying for a Blue Badge for my mum, who relies on me to give her lifts everywhere. If they see me bounce out of the car first to go round and open the door for mum, people could draw the wrong conclusions.

Just wanted to note also, as well as not all disabilities being visible, that the driver may not be the one with the mobility problem.

Your month and year of birth is hidden in the BB number.

IfYouLook · 12/02/2025 11:00

DragonfliesAboveYourBed · 12/02/2025 10:38

A woman about four cars away shouted at me and said 'that's a wheelie spot'.

A wheelie spot?? Well doesn't she sound like an absolute champion of those with disabilities.

Are you in Australia @AusMumhere - ah yeah just spotted your user name.

I’m always 😮 at the Australian habit of shortening just about any word and adding “y” or “ie” or “o” onto it. Couldn’t believe my BBC ears when over there and a news report on tv calmly talked about “Five ambos attended the accident scene”.

a total aside. You were not unreasonable….

caramac04 · 12/02/2025 10:59

ExtraOnions · 12/02/2025 10:22

Probably not going to be popular … but I think those spaces should be specifically for people with mobility issues, and those who need to get wheelchairs / scooters etc out of the car.

Some disabilities aren’t visible which is correct, and some people have disabilities that good days and bad days, just because you “can” doesn’t mean you “should”

I disagree. I don’t have or need a blue badge but know people who look like they can walk well but in fact are very limited and so need to park close to where they are shopping.
Similarly it can be an urgent need to use a toilet that cannot be predicted. No disabled space for these people would probably mean they stay at home.

uniformdirect · 12/02/2025 10:58

My dh has a hereditary spastic paraplegia and we came back to the car to find a note on it saying this person is not disabled, fine them, if you want my spot you can have my disability too! My dh was angry as hell.

JustMyView13 · 12/02/2025 10:58

LadyKenya · 12/02/2025 10:55

Or you could just ignore them, and not get into a public spectacle. Just a thought.

Show quote history

Where’s the fun in that 😂
Disabled people shouldn’t have to quietly accept abuse to avoid a ‘spectacle’

Rosscameasdoody · 12/02/2025 10:58

LadyKenya · 12/02/2025 10:55

Or you could just ignore them, and not get into a public spectacle. Just a thought.

Show quote history

A very balanced viewpoint. Problem is, people who challenge aggressively, won’t be ignored. I’ve had people challenge me and demand to see and handle the badge - actually blocking my exit from the car while they shout at me, and ignoring my requests to move aside.

EmmaMaria · 12/02/2025 10:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I wonder if you realise how absolutely awful and inappropriate that comment is? "Backward" is a direction, the opposite of "forward". When referring to people it is discriminatory, insulting, offensive and ableist.

Markovenchip · 12/02/2025 10:57

There probably won't be a 'next time', but I suggest ignoring people who verbally abuse, not even looking at them, don't give them the satisfaction of a response, you have a blue-badge so you are perfectly entitled park in a disabled bay, when I've been abroad on holiday I see clipboard scammers and sellers of 'dodgy' stuff, I don't even say no, I stay silent, I won't waste my breath !

Mumofoneandone · 12/02/2025 10:57

No, someone shouldn't have had a go at you - especially without checking. I frequently find people parked in disabled spaces without blue badges - tend to flag this up with the organisation the parking spaces belong to. (Admittedly, they rarely do anything...)
Sorry, just to clarify, do you have a blue badge or a disability permit (what is this exactly?). As it sounds like they are 2 different things, so may have different rules attached.
(I am sympathetic, as I have an invisible disability and have fought hard to get a blue badge. I do tend to use walking aids, so maybe a little more obvious.)
Sometimes it is about learning to ignore or just state you have a blue badge. Let them chunter to themselves........

JustMyView13 · 12/02/2025 10:57

Rosscameasdoody · 12/02/2025 10:51

I’m disabled. Fairly obvious disability as I use a wheelchair. But from the drivers’ seat I don’t look disabled. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve driven into a disabled spot and before I’ve even got the car door open, some busybody has rushed over to point out it’s a disabled space.

The most batshit occasion was when a very angry woman demanded to see my badge, saying she wanted to check that the photo (on the reverse so would have to have taken it out of the holder) was actually me. I pointed out that unless she was a police officer or parking official she had no right to see the badge, and refused.

She was still ranting and raving at me as the wheelchair hoist set the chair down next to me on the drivers’ side - she actually stepped back to make room for it. She suddenly realised what was happening as I got out of the car into the chair and followed me into the supermarket apologising profusely for her ‘mistake’.

So OP, I’ll tell you what I told her. It’s no one elses’ business if you are parking in a disabled spot and displaying a valid blue badge. No one other than a police officer or parking official has the right to handle the badge and access personal details from it. And no one has the right to demand details of what disability you have to qualify you (yes, at one point she did ask and got angrier when I refused to say). I always say that those details are between myself, my doctors and the badge issuing authority. I do try to be polite if I’m challenged - even when they’re still challenging after you place the badge (and some really do persist) but on a couple of occasions I’ve lost patience and as I wheel away, point them to the registration number, telling them to report me to whoever they like !!

I’ve found that since the pandemic this has actually got worse. Most people who challenge will say sorry when you produce the badge, but there seem to be a lot more people around who have anger issues and actively look for an argument. I really can’t be arsed with this attitude so if none of the above works, a simple ‘fuck off and mind your own business’ is usually very effective.

‘Fortunately for both of us, my eyes are working just fine’ 😂😂

I find the public’s obsession with enforcing disabled spaces fascinating. If only they were that committed to lobbying on behalf of the disabled community for more accessible spaces, such as accessible public transport. Imagine if they got that angry when the only lift from the platform was out of order.
And I say this as an able bodied person who has experience of relatives that had a blue badge at some stage.

Sunnyside4 · 12/02/2025 10:56

I'd totally ignore her and turn my back on her.

LadyKenya · 12/02/2025 10:55

JustMyView13 · 12/02/2025 10:52

When she said ‘where’s your walker’ I’d have said - ‘with your manners’.

Another clap back you can use - if someone says ‘you don’t look disabled’ you can reply - ‘and you don’t look like an arsehole but here we find ourselves’.

Or you could just ignore them, and not get into a public spectacle. Just a thought.