Did I handle this situation wrongly? Man at train station

It's so sad that we all accept awful behavior as par for the course. Match day shouldn't mean that all social norms and decency are suspended.

@Allthewayinbatterycity - I understand your disgust. The last time I travelled to London on the train, the man sitting next to me was openly watching porn on his laptop, with the sound on. I wanted to report him but then, as other posters have said, I thought it probably wasn't illegal. Disgusting, yes, illegal, no.

Would you tell a strangers off for picking their nose, eating with their mouth open or sniffing loudly.

Yes I would, if they were doing it in front of me on a train, say. Though with sniffers, I would offer them a tissue.

I also told a man who came to stand close to me (and lean on me, FFS) on the train when there was no need whatsoever, to give me some personal space. I'm sure he wasn't doing anything illegal, technically, either but it is certainly anti-social.

Here's the next step but in black - warning content some might find offensive.

Football fans sometimes have little self awareness about how intimidating they can be, drinking lager and shouting loudly on the train. It's a testosterone fest and it can be intimidating particularly for lone female travellers just going about their business.

I get that they are having a good time but some of them should be a little more self aware.

This is often what stag and hen does do on trains too, not just football fans…

The man… I personally wouldn’t have said anything unless he was clearly wanking off; and then I’d have reported that. It’s not polite or pleasant but also not illegal, and I’d have just moved away.

The train conductor could be doing anything with their hands before they touch your tickets, let’s be honest. Half the women in my office don’t wash their hands after using the toilet. It’s safe to assume that most people have gross hands…

I'm not defending it just saying it's not illegal. Would you tell a strangers off for picking their nose, eating with their mouth open or sniffing loudly. Even more disgusting imo than the hands down the trousers but not illegal.

Completely agree OP and good on you for commenting. I really think calling this out and drawing attention to it is the only way to show people how gross it is and I guarantee there would have been others around you thinking the same.

He responded aggressively because he was embarrassed probably.

There was a guy sat across from me on a bus the other day, just massaging his dick through his joggers. It was absolutely vile. I don't think he was masturbating, it was probably a comfort thing, but seriously who does that in public? Gross.

No it's not okay to have your hands in your pants in public. Funny how we never see women standing cupping their own labia.

I agree.

Or report to BT Police if they have an office on the station.

Good for you, OP. I would have said something very loudly to him so that everyone looked. It's the fact that everyone's too scared to say anything that encourages them to keep on doing it. It's not acceptable behaviour in a public place, full stop.

My impression is that these kinds of large groups of men shouting football chants are aware of and enjoying the fact that they are disturbing and maybe intimidating people. That they're going to the football is just an excuse for lairy behaviour, IMO.
And yes, I think the same about lairy hen groups.

Definitely scared, and for good reason. There’s no shame in that.

It's weird isn't it... honestly I think it is just the mindless boy thing. Also I think probably worth a report rather than confrontation. Sometimes youths are hiding/holding a knife down their trouser leg 🤷‍♀️ it must be awful to be so scared of society that that's what they feel they need to do. I think some of the aggression/noisyness is also probably fear. Theykind of dominate an environment to prove they are the scary one. I also find noise and noisy people incredibly annoying. I assume it's me being an introvert and just try to get away from it all. Loud people is going to be loud.

YANBU OP, that’s disgusting. Why is it ok for this kind of behaviour to be acceptable?
Generally men aren’t safe to confront however, you’re never going to get an even slightly reasonable reaction from them, especially if you’re a woman. I’d have felt inner revulsion and just left the waiting room.

Indecency? Unless he was evidently masturbating, it is hard to make the call. Some youths do put their hands down their trousers, it seems to be more certain minorities than others mind. But it isn't them wanking in public, probably some childhood development issues.

Noise cancelling headphones are a wonderful thing. :)

I find the responses on here really weird actually. I think you did the right thing op. I don't want my children seeing this and thinking it's normal.

Embarrass them, say they're gross.

Maybe all the women on here would be too scared to say something. But I think that's why they carry on thinking they can do that.

I don't mind the football fans on the way to the game when they're still sober and just in good spirits having a good time. It's the way back when they're all drunk and loud and all common sense goes out the window. I used to commute to work on a train line that was packed with fans and would get stuck on the way back with a load of men who stink of booze and shout inappropriate slurs. Once the train was packed and a guy stood with his crotch right against my backside. If I had moved, it would be some other guys crotch, but he could have moved an inch to the side, or even turned around as his back was against a panel. I remember feeling really upset at the time.

Isn't the "fashion" aspect because they want to look as though they're carrying a gun or knife i.e. they're trying to look intimidating? Although, if you ask me, it's a massive H&S risk to have a weapon in that close proximity to your willy.

You did the right thing.
There’s a few MRA apologists hanging around MN at the moment (probably with their hands in their joggers).

I’d ignore it, or move away if I thought it was in some way sexual. I’d certainly not comment or use language like ‘disgusting’, that’s asking for an aggressive response.

It's grim, but it's perfectly legal, and very common among young men. The OP has absolutely no right to start squaring up to strangers over something so innocous. If she's so offended by where a stranger puts their hands she can avert her eyes.

one of my kids loves to murder what used to be called music by blowing loudly in his toy trumpet.

Would anyone annoyed by the noise in public be a killjoy too?