Did I handle this situation wrongly? Man at train station

Providing they keep their hands to themselves, I really couldn’t care less where they put them.

Also, I hate the football fans.

Your personal space extends to audio space. Encroaching on someone's personal audio space is as bad as encroaching on their physical space. It's just being selfish and not caring about the impact you have on other people.

Very true. It's all pack mentality/behaviour.

It's gross and it all feeds into the culture of men feeling entitled to do what they want. It's part of a wider societal issue of antisocial pricks doing whatever the fuck they want and everyone being too scared to call them out.

I don't know what the solution is - it almost needs to be a collective decision of everyone decent to start standing to them and agreeing we'll all support and call it out when someone does!

The football fan thing really extends to any group where drinking is involved e.g. hen dos, concert goers. Generally it’s good natured even if it’s intrusive and annoying but situations like that can be very volatile and turn in an instant.

I think the football singing is intimidatory. It's pack behavior, not just high spirits. I'm not saying that individually, those men are all aggressive or intimidating, but people in a pack (or mob) behave very differently to individuals.

So if I'm in good spirits and decide to start loudly bellowing a song out on the 7.50 to London Paddington that's ok is it? Absolute unhinged behaviour.

It's not illegal but there are plenty of things that are not illegal that are a bit grim. I get the argument about he might then touch door handles and the train door button but then again nobody should be eating a sandwich after touching a train door button anyway, it's common sense that you need to wash your hands thoroughly first.

Some people are just oblivious to those around them. Personally I'd find a train carriage full of football thugs more indimidating than a single person with their hands in their trousers.

The trouble is when you tackle someone you don't know how they will react. You also don't know the full story, just what you can see. If someone is clearly masturbating, call the police. But someone doing something that is just unpleasant to see, not much you can do about that. You don't know the situation, maybe he just needed to "put the boys back in the barracks" as Alan Partridge might say. You don't know if he has a mental illness. It's risky "tearing someone a new arsehole" in this day and age, if it turns out they have an illness (that you couldn't have known about) then YOU will be deemed at fault if it gets out into the public domain.

It's a consequence of the "live and let live" world we live in. We're not meant to judge or criticise people for being different or acting in a socially abnormal way. If it's not illegal, it's allowed.

I mean I think it's socially unacceptable for someone to use public transport if they have a cold. But it's not illegal so I don't call people out on it.

Ah that's interesting. This is a behaviour I don't think I have seen very often,if at all, and was wondering why on Earth are they doing this?

I was just saying this the other day, OP. I took a packed very early train to catch a flight and at 6am there are only youngish men on the train. Labourers, service personnel, manual workers etc., ALL i could hear was sniffing, snorting, throat clearing, burping, mouth breathing. Not a hanky or tissue in the whole carriage. It was like being in a farmyard.

When I was at school in the olden days any boys caught doing this would soon have their knuckles wrapped with a ruler. They never did it again in public, so it worked.

Not sure what we can do now; people are allowed to do what they want without any consideration for others.

It's absolutely disgusting, but as others have pointed out, not illegal and you're no the conduct police.

I'd personally be prepared for someone that ill mannered to get violent. I also think this is about 'power'(or lack of) and they'd just thrive on the dirty looks and remonstrations of those who fund them disgusting, so I'd say nothing and ignore them.

I don't think those who go to football are marginalised. For the top tiers it is very expensive to go. It's just what happens when a bunch of certain types of men get together in a single sex group and alcohol is also involved. Often my generation - Gen X - are the worst offenders. And some clubs are worse than others for the hooligan/yob element.

I used to go to most home games as a junior member of a Premier League team with my mate when we were age 14-16 and we never had any trouble or harassment, in spite of being very outnumbered. We certainly heard some language and creative insults though, and found some of it absolutely hilarious. We used to go home laughing at what had been said.

Last year I was sat in the car at Asda, right at the front waiting for my DH to come out of the post office. I was sat watching these two blokes, late 20s/early 30s maybe. They were talking for atleast 5 minutes and the entire time the one I could see full front of was almost elbow deep with both hands down his joggers having a good rummage, playing with his genitals like David Bowie in labyrinth with the crystal ball’s. Then as the convo drew to an end he took his hands out, sniffed his own fingers and then shook the guys hand 🤢😱🤷🏼‍♀️

some men really ARE disgusting.

He was probably sorting out his undies. He wasn't exposing himself yes it's gross seeing someone with their hands down their pants (you see it so often). But you'll also see be firting around getting my knickers out of my arse crack from time to time

You did the right thing by telling him. It would have been weird to report him. Would you report someone for putting their hands in their pockets?

Being stuck in a train carriage with a group of football fans is almost always a nightmare, especially if you're with kids. It never fails to amaze me that grown men think it's OK to swear, talk graphically and shout slurs in front of children. This happens every time. I guess it's a kind of power trip from people who are generally marginalised in society.

And I like football by the way

Next time just report him to staff for masturbating in public.

I don't expect thanks but most people do stop the behaviour if you ask them- I start with a polite request. I've also had other passengers back me up when I've asked someone to turn down loud music. The bloke who was leaning on my shoulder disappeared down the train without another word. He knew exactly what he was doing.

I think you were very brave to call this out. This is how it starts; he stands with his hands down his pants a few times, gets away with it so starts playing trouser hockey as well, gets away with that so whips it out and is openly masturbating…and so it escalates. Someone has seen him and told him off, he might think twice about doing it again, well done you x

What if you need to pick out a wedgie?

I have said a couple of times "Get your hands out of your pants, Nobody wants to see that" to young men/teens walking down the street. I think the trick is to say it loudly and confidently. You said it quetly and politely, that, in his head, gave him the upper hand. These people are already rough as anything so if you don't show any authority over them they will just start shouting nonsense. They aren't bright enough to reason with.

From what I understand this comes from gang culture where you do this to show you are carrying a gun. Obviously these guys are just posers and do it just to try and look cool, when in reality they just look like flashers.

I was been stuck on the Tube with Chelsea fans many years ago and what they were trying to do to me was verbal sexual harassment and bullying, not drunken merriment and hilarious japes. The bunch of fucking wankers. Never had that with Fulham fans.

If you want to police strangers' behaviour crack on but don't expect them to thank you politely for reminding them.

I don't think we want to aspire live in a society where people aren't "technically" doing anything wrong.

Technically or not, its still wrong behaviour.

There's a reason we wash our hands after using the toilet.

For all we know he could have an STI and he's going around holding handrails after clutching his cock. I'm not saying this how we catch STIs but it's still disgusting to think about.

If its "technically" fine to do this then technically its fine to dig around scratching your arsehole in public.

It's a disgustingly low bar and I do think it should be illegal.

I have had almost exactly this before and said to the man in a loud voice, "ahh, can't find it eh??" he luckily quickly withdrew his hand from his pants and scurried off.