Did I handle this situation wrongly? Man at train station

What is with some responses? “Not doing anything wrong”

most men don’t wipe themselves after they’ve urinated. Putting their hands down their pants to fiddle with their genitals and then holding on train rails, pressing buttons at self check outs etc. it’s disgusting

Of course you can report him for anti social behaviour to the station staff!

It's revolting and I agree getting worse, trains are disgusting these days.

I agree. They don't know how they are coming over sometimes.
The other day I was in a train full of very drunk football supporters (winning side) and a group came to occupy the other 3 seats in my table. I got up and said I'd let them have the table to themselves, and they practically wept. 'Oh, no, stay, we don't want to drive you away, we really really want to sit with you, we won't be any trouble...' It was rather sweet. But I moved anyway, to get away from the noise.

Those of you who would have turned a blind eye are shocking

I had a guy do this in an office. Disgusting stuff. Men who are not dragged up do not do this,

Yes I reported him. He seemed surprised it was unacceptable

Shocked at how many are defending a man having his hands down his pants! There's just no need, women manage not to fondle themselves. Even if a quick adjustment is necessary, and a private place can't possibly be found, surely it should be over and done long before anyone has a chance to tell you off for it. I they want to keep their hands warm, pockets or gloves rather than their ballsack please.
OP, you're brave. And men are gross.

I suffered verbal sexual abuse on a train recently. Packed train so couldn't sit anywhere else and the conductor didn't come through. I've reported and police are treating it as a crime.
I daresay the man would say it was just banter with his mates. If he hadn't had them as an audience he wouldn't have said anything I'[m sure.

Why do men think this kind of stuff is acceptable.

Totally. I did that with my kids when they were younger. If you confront they get aggressive. If you embarrass then they feel embarrassed and are less likely to lash out.

I am with you, OP. I dont get that either. I think its easier to tolerate it that push against, I am afraid.

ROFL - keeping their hands warm by cupping their balls. Absolutely.

And we have to use door handles, money, and everything else after they've done it. So delightful.

Oh god, I didn't realise this until now, but of course that's what it was.

I innocently assumed it was because it 'looks untidy' but now I'm older and have rather more experience of blokes and their love of their own penises I can't believe I didn't connect the dots until you said it!

Why do you never see women 'keeping their hands warm' in this fashion?

Apologist bullshit.

Par for the course. Not cause.

My poor son gets terrible eczema on his penis. He got told off so much in primary school for going to the loo too often as he was so uncomfortable. He does sometimes scratch in public as he’s in so much discomfort. So no not every male is fiddling with themselves!

Yes, I was just preempting any neurodivergent comments.

Perhaps think wearing gloves makes them look a bit soft. But don't these jogger things have any pockets they could use instead?

As someone upthread mentioned a lot of young men put their hands in their trousers without touching their willy or anything. It's just a thing they do. I actually think you were wrong to draw attention to it because you humiliated him in a public space and no doubt made others think that he was touching himself.

He humiliated himself.

Why don't women walk around with their hands down the waistband of their trousers? Why is that not just a 'thing they do'? This male habit has toxic masculinity written all over it.

All depends on if he was wanking or literally just had his hands in his pants

Ever heard of gloves?

That’s not what they are doing they are keeping their hands warm not touching themselves 🙄boys have been doing this since I was young it’s nothing new and really not a big deal. Could you imagine the outrage if this was a man saying this about a woman. Practice what you preach

I have relatively traditional values and it irks me to see men doing this! It's never women is it?! I'd have been tempted to say have you got crabs down there, how awful? But to be honest it would have got the same reaction. Maybe he won't do it again for fear of being shamed. Or most likely he will just hate women, because after all we are probably the cause of him having to walk in public right? Because he's a sad sack who can't get a real life woman.

If a guy is doing that in public he either A has a mental illness/compulsion or lacks awareness, B doesn't give a shi*t and has no shame or is C doing it for attention/one step away from flasher. Best to protect yourself and not say anything because you never know which they are or how they might respond. But yes report them because at least you are doing something positive and ideally another guy going and talking to them might snap them out of it, especially if they are hoping to get attention of a woman!

It's a legal loop hole really isn't it because if he'd pulled his pants down and exposed himself, it would have been against the law and indecent.. still even clothed you wouldn't want to see that outside your kids school or a play area would you? You'd think, pervert alert!!!

Thing is we are told not to shame our kids about their bodies, but how do you teach them it's rude to play with yourself in public without a little bit of shame/embarrassment? It probably needs to be taught at school to be honest, perhaps it is and we just haven't got to that stage yet with our kids...

Definitely a huge over reaction. They do it to keep their hands warm. Weird, yes but you really over reacted

As someone upthread mentioned a lot of young men put their hands in their trousers without touching their willy or anything. It's just a thing they do. I actually think you were wrong to draw attention to it because you humiliated him in a public space and no doubt made others think that he was touching himself. In some ways you are the person with the problem because you were looking at that area of his body. I can see why his instinct was to shout at you and shame you in return.

The reason men behave like this is because nowadays so many people go “avert your eyes” or “ you can’t police people’s behaviour”.
The reason people generally behaved properly in public in the past was exactly because the general public believed in a minimum standard of civic behaviour and many strangers would let you know if you didn’t meet this.
As for reporting anyone to rail staff I say ha! I complained recently to a bus driver about a gang of really rowdy kids on the bus who were intimidating passengers and he said “ I’m not allowed to intervene”. Nowadays no one wants to know, everyone wants to avert their eyes, put on their headphones and stay in their bubble. Meanwhile the streets, the buses, the shops, the trains all get more and more unpleasant.
I often feel like the lone crazy lady calling out appalling public behaviour so thank you OP for making me feel less alone!

Also, since it is supposed to be a sign that they are carrying a gun, is that also OK for the other poster I wonder? I think for either masturbation in public and carrying a gun the police is the correct person to alert. Maybe that would teach the little scroats to stop being gross or intimidating.

So a man masturbating is ok?