Did I handle this situation wrongly? Man at train station

So sorry for your disturbing experience, OP. Any man behaving in that way in public is behaving in a sexual manner and knows it.

"Thinly veiled racist references" ? I assume this is partly directed at me, a woman of Japanese heritage 🤔 The suggested 'demographic' might be native white British. Only the OP knows.

The real reason they do it - like toddlers, they feel comforted by it, fear attack.

The reason they tell each other they do it - because they're pretending to be concealing a gun there, it makes them feel very tough (therefore NOT doing it is clearly an indication that they do not have a weapon which makes them, they think, vulnerable.)

It is widely understood amongst one another that they are NOT touching their genitals and so any suggestion that they're a filthy pervert, will be met with a pretty aggressive response.

Insecure little boys acting like hard men.

I wouldn’t say anything for fear of my own safety . Yes it’s gross but is it worth it saying it? The thing is you never know who you are speaking with and could find yourself being physically attacked when you approach someone like this.

But not once has anyone seen a female warming her hands in her vajazil on a train platform? Happy to be proven wrong.

Op I don't think any of the posters understood or have seen what you are describing.
agree, it's absolutely gross.

Who are they intimidating?

And to the handful of posters making thinly veiled racist references to "particular minorities", "certain demographics" etc, why don't you just come out and say it 🙄

@Namechangey23 Thing is we are told not to shame our kids about their bodies, but how do you teach them it's rude to play with yourself in public without a little bit of shame/embarrassment? It probably needs to be taught at school to be honest, perhaps it is and we just haven't got to that stage yet with our kids...

You have lots of general conversations about the parts of the body that are private, about consent, and personal space, and who should and shouldn't be seeing/touching different parts of each others bodies in different contexts. And when they start playing with themselves in public you remind them very neutrally, "Your penis/vulva is a private part of your body. Playing with it can feel different to playing with other parts of your body. You can play with your private body parts in private."
DS5 now asks me to leave the bathroom when he's in the bath and wants to play with his penis, which I suppose is the desired result, but I still have to push my internal cringing aside!

What demographic was the culprit from? I ask because I have noticed this on various occasions, completely nonchalant behaviour, and always from men from one apparent background

I agree.

In fact I've just remembered an incident where a man urinated in a bus shelter where several women were waiting for a bus. Lewisham mid 80s. Urinating in the street was not uncommon and far worse than hands down trousers.

But presumably it would have been quite clear if he was.. wouldn’t it? I’ve never known a man be able to have a weak inside his trousers discretely. Perhaps his hands were cold? I’m not saying it’s ok to warm them doen his pants but it’s quite a different charge, isn’t it?

That's exactly the same situation..... well not really, in fact nothing like it. 😱

.

Oh I totally agree! I would definitely want to say something but not worth the risk! I think if someone was being harmed literally I would totally think differently!

It sure where you lived 40 years ago but that would not have happened where I lived. In fact. I've been flashed 35 years old at a bus stop with LOADS of people around of all ages and sexes, and no one did anything! Ime the normal response in the U.K. to this type of thing has been to ignore it for decades.

Totally understand why you commented, I've done the same in the past (to similar) but, I do regret it a little after, as I have put myself at risk of assault by speaking up. Its shit but its something to consider before doing so again.

I need to just mentally think "arse" but not actually say anything If I'm on my own, I'm working on that.

But OP didn't say he was doing that. I agree if he was masthrbating but at no point in the thread has OP said anything more than "hand down"

I suspect it’s more than “technically “ illegal to be masturbating in public. I suspect it’s actually illegal.

Hideous grey mottled joggers with their saggy arses. In Scotland I believe they're known as "jobbie catchers"..

So women’s hands must not get cold as we don’t walk around with our hands in our flaps? We just use pockets or gloves. I had no idea men were so sensitive to the cold. You would think that knowing the poor delicate growers would struggle then they would wear a coat and gloves wouldn’t you? Instead of holding onto their genitals like it’s a furnace that can prevent from from frost bite.

absolutely fucking ridiculous.

Indeed they have, but I'm not sure why, if you suspect a criminal offence is taking place and you are the primary witness, why you'd expect oblivious rail staff to deal with it when they likely didn't witness anything rather than reporting it to BTP yourself.

I wouldn't particularly mind.

On the subject of football fans, I accept that they can feel intimidating but would like to give a shout out to the Ipswich fans who I was squashed into a train with last September. They were jolly but not noticeably sweary or drunk and behaved like perfect gentlemen. They even found me a seat eventually. The train was so crowded some of them were standing in the toilet but came out if anyone knocked on the door.

So men who ride who go penis-handed while in public are not doing anything sexual😂😂😂

Ditto the men who keep an imaginary gun nestled in their penis!

Have to say the lengths some people are going to - to defend those poor innocent penis-havers/holders are quite breathtaking.