Did I handle this situation wrongly? Man at train station

You’re either extremely brave or very VERY foolish - anything could have happened to you.
I wouldn’t challenge anybody these days although would report anything if I was really, really concerned about anyone. Who knows what he could have drank or taken that morning, or if he was on medication or more frighteningly had not taken his medication, had a knife etc etc. You could have been his ‘last straw’ today.

I witness this nearly every time I go into my local town. Seems to be men between the ages of about 16 - 30 mostly. They have no shame. If women went around with their hands down their pants,fiddling with their bits,you can be sure something would be said to them pretty damn quickly!

I witness this nearly every time I go into my local town. Seems to be men between the ages of about 16 - 30 mostly. They have no shame. If women went around with their hands down their pants,fiddling with their bits,you can be sure something would be said to them pretty damn quickly!

You absolute moron 😂

Yes it's somewhere to put their hands.

You’d be surprised at how many men do this and are completely oblivious to it. It’s like it’s hardwired in them from birth, literally tugging and tearing at it as soon as they realise they have a penis. It’s gross, unless they are doing it for other purposes I’d ignore it. If i was with my kids then I’d be saying something as it is inappropriate. I work in a school and see male staff having a reshuffle (not in front of their classes) as they walk down the corridors, teen lads do it. My DH will sit on the settee with his hand down his joggers sometimes and I am always on at it him to pack it in because it’s unnecessary and inappropriate. It hasn’t bloody ran off so there is zero need to feel for it or touch it unless he’s having a pee. With my two boys I’ve always been on at them to leave it alone if they are not alone. My MIL used to swat my DH and BIL with a rolled up newspaper!

This poster has ALL the hallmarks of a gargantuan backstepping. You'd been on tenterhooks since you initially posted, only to find you didn't strike it lucky this time. Though all the usual precursors were covered albeit in haste. Alas, perhaps next time.

That said, even if the man's behaviour bothered your sensibilities OP, you'd have been better off not giving him your attention and fretting over reporting him for standing with his hands in his trousers. It would have been interesting to read - had this gained traction - how you think people should stand so that they don't offend your sensibilities OP.

I think humiliating him would be best although most are probably thick skinned!

🤣 I'd forgotten that phrase. I think I knew it at school in the 60s. It's nothing new.

I think it's odd to just stand down your hands down the front of your trousers. When boys are little we teach them not to do it. However I've just asked my husband if he thinks it's weird and he said no 😐

The phrase, 'pocket billiards', was coined because it is a common pursuit.

Predictable smear against the Reform party (you unaccountably omitted to call them 'far right) - who are simply small 'c' conservatives - with this bizarre attempt to associate them with the odious Tate 😧

That's exactly what I would have done, I have form, my Husband thinks my look of disgust is hilarious but would quickly wheel my wheelchair (and me) out of potential argument and line of sight. One of the worst was when we were in line at the hospital pharmacy for a prescription and some vile man in front (and just by my face) decided to put his hand down the back of his filthy jogging bottoms and have a thorough rake round. I protested loudly about it (together with my best disapproval face) and asked to come back later, as I felt even worse! I do appreciate he may have had learning differences, but this was highly offensive and disrespectful, as it was right by my face being sat as a captive audience in a wheelchair. Not to mention horribly unhygienic in what is supposed to be a sanitary environment for sick/vulnerable people!

I mean as in response to the pp who said she'd reassure him it was still there! 😆

I do that too, when my Husband is absent-mindedly having a rearrange/rummage! (Not in public, though, he's not an animal when people are about) 😉

I asked my 69 year old husband his opinion on this he felt the man's behaviour was disgusting and offensive to women. However he objects to your assertion that those men voting reform are in the same demographic as this vulgar yob. We discussing a social bad habit here not politics.

OP, I feel the same as you but I wouldn't have said anything because I'd have been too scared to! You're right, women don't sit with their hands down/up their trousers/skirts/dresses and if we did then people would say something but it's right for men to just casually walk around with their hands down their grey joggers?? It's not right, it's not decent but it's not likely to change. Next time give him a filthy look and walk off, it won't phase him but it's safer than confronting imo.

Also agree with the football people. So many times jve been on train journeys (short and long) with football fans, pissed out their heads and screaming and shouting as loud as they can. Sometimes I don't feel safe moving carriages as I've watched them have a go at people that do that or ask them to keep it down so I often just sit there for the duration, worrying of they're going to start on me or if they're going to fight someone/eachother.

But apparently that's fine, let them have their fun. Who cares if other passengers are feeling scared or having panic attacks because of past trauma. As long as they get to be pissed and shout on 🙄.

Were the supporters arrested?

Probably wise. I'd be embarrassingly likely to tell him to get his hands out of his trousers, with an air of irritated disgust. The spirit of an old-fashioned teacher lives somewhere inside me, waiting for excuses to leap out unbidden!

40 Years ago a girl I knew was gang raped on a train by rival supporters. They weren't any less vile in the good old days.

I applaud you. I wish more people confronted anti social behaviour. Particularly from males. But you’re braver than me - it’s unsafe to criticise random ratty lads. You could’ve been a daily mail headline if he’d had a knife and was having an off day. Life shouldn’t be like this. YANBU and YABU for different reasons.

It's disgusting, but no, I wouldn't have said anything, simply out of self-preservation. You never know which person will go absolutely nuts, and it's not worth risking my safety to call them out on it. If possible, I'd just move away from him.

Well done for saying something.

i had a similar situation recently where a teenager was doing the same… except it was in the queue to an all inclusive buffet! GRIM!!

I had a similar experience. V crowded train (because of utter shot train company) & I had splurged to go 1st class on a Weekend upgrade for a long journey for some peace & quiet to get some work done. Carriage invaded by about 20 football fans - all under 20 it looked like, vaping, drinking, making an horrendous noise. When I asked them to keep the noise down, they basically mobbed me. They surrounded my seat and tried to see what I was texting on my phone.

I texted the British Transport Police, but they did NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. Didn't stop the train at the next station, didn't get the yobs off. Nothing. It went on for over 2 hours.

And it's taken 3 months for me to get a refund on my ticket - but only the 1st class upgrade portion. I'm in the middle of a back and forth about getting a complete refund.

I actually did tell a large bunch of football fans to shut up on a train. They were singing / chanting really offensive stuff, loudly. It was the start of a long journey, there were kids in the carriage (not mine) and I just had had enough. It didnt work, obviously, I got called a Karen and no-one else backed me up. I moved carriages after a bit but I think it's awful now that people just feel like there's no reason to be considerate. 😕