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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the best times are over?

89 replies

Numblittlebug87 · 11/02/2025 23:33

Turned 40 and just feel so sad all the time. And if not sad then numb.
Parents getting older, probably only got a few years left.
Kids nearly grown up and I’m not actually sad about that because I’ve not enjoyed them very much.
Mediocre job that is not a career and it’s too late for me to now have a career.
Barely any friends because I can’t be bothered - I arrange or agree to things and then either cancel when it comes to it or go and think what a waste of money it was as I didn’t enjoy it.
But mostly I just feel so sad, I feel like I’m looking at my parents getting older and more infirm, my kids flying the nest and then scraping by in a less than fulfilling job for the next 30 years. What’s the point?

Aibu to think that the best times are gone? And that everything becomes impossible as you age?

OP posts:
5foot5 · 11/02/2025 23:43

Well if your kids are getting older isn't this now the time to start thinking of things to do for you?

What hobbies or interests do you have or would like to have?

You are only just turned 40? Not too late to start looking for something different to do that gives you more buzz.

MasterBeth · 11/02/2025 23:42

Their early 40s are the time that people rate as the least happy times of their life. On average, people report more joy and satisfaction during both youth and later life.

Lentilweaver · 11/02/2025 23:42

Bloody hell you are a cheery bunch.. Giving up at 30!

Hollyhedge · 11/02/2025 23:41

I understand quite are of your feeling. Older parents, children going up. Everything else is in your control. You can retrain into a new career and start new hobbies. Start right away, even in a small way. Don’t write off the next 40+ years!

SecondMrsTanqueray · 11/02/2025 23:41

You sound depressed.

Yes, your youth is over. But you’re maybe only halfway through life. There’s lots to look forward to before decrepitude.

TheaBrandt1 · 11/02/2025 23:41

Fgs you sound a right barrel of laughs op. Can you not see the joy in any aspect of life or at all?

MarioSis · 11/02/2025 23:41

I can relate. I did lose my dad in my early 40s and my mom is getting on now. We have many relatives and their generations are almost gone. I feel like my loving childhood is being ripped away and I miss everyone so much from grandmas, aunties, uncles, everyone. Life also was so much better in the 90s and noughties with so much optimism and less hatred and divisiveness compared to today.

KnickerlessParsons · 11/02/2025 23:40

If you're 40 your parents can't be more than about 70, so in all likelihood they have more than just a few years left.

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 11/02/2025 23:40

As another PP said, what do you do for fun?

Celia24 · 11/02/2025 23:39

I feel you OP.

im early 30s and already feel this. I feel I was 20 a minute ago with my whole life ahead now I’m attending funerals and worried about ageing parents.

Goofy03 · 11/02/2025 23:39

If you imagined you only had a year left to live what would you change and what parts of your current life make you happy?

Lentilweaver · 11/02/2025 23:39

Also, if you keep cancelling on your friends you soon won't have any.

Nichebitch · 11/02/2025 23:39

I changed jobs, moved city and started a masters at 46. It’s never too late to change things that make you unhappy. Also - hormones! Things might look so much better if you deal with your hormonal changes, don’t underestimate it.
as you said - so many working years left, its very much worth thinking of a plan to change your path. Best of luck to you xxx

Lentilweaver · 11/02/2025 23:38

I am 53 and having more fun now than I have ever had so YABU. I don't find things as impossible as you claim.
What do you do for fun?